1The Temporary Switch By: Hawk&Hotlips

A/N: I don't own any MASH characters except the ones no one recognizes.

Lt. Col. Henry Blake is on the phone AGAIN for the millionth time trying to figure out what I Corp is saying.

"Yes, I realize that...No I don't mind, sir, but...It's a fine program...I'm not sure how everyone will react...I mean we have the best ones around...That's not what I meant, sir...When will they be here?...Tomorrow? Hello? Hello?" The phone lines went out AGAIN of course. It's hard to talk when that happens.

Radar, who heard everything from the other phone rushes in once Henry's off the phone.

"Sir, I heard what happen and I want you to know that I fully stand by you no matter what you feel, Sir."

"Listening on the phone again Radar? Oh, well at least you were the first to know."

"Know what, Sir?"

"About the Nurses."

"The Nurses, Sir?"

"You know, the people who assist the doctors, all women, the Head Nurse is having an affair with Major Burns?"

"Right, the Nurses. What about them, Sir?"

"You told me you heard everything."

"Well, almost everything."

"How much is almost?'

"I got on when I heard you agreeing?"

"So you agree with me, Radar?

"What exactly is this about?"

"Well, General Hank wants us to train a bunch of male nurses while our women nurses are being taught about new procedures."

"Oh...Sir, one question."

"What Radar?"

"How are you gonna break it to Cpt. Pierce and Cpt. McIntyre?"

"Yes, Radar, I was hoping you would tell them personally. I'll tell everyone else."

"Me, Sir?"

"Yes, you Radar."

"They're sleeping."

"Well, wake them up."

"The last time I tried to, Cpt. Pierce nearly bit my hand off!"


"He thought it was a Nurse's button."

"Well, be defensive."

"How do I tell them, Sir?"

"Try getting on their good side."

"How do I do that, Sir?"

"Try being nice to them. Call them by their first name."

Radar, not wanting to miss a note, grabs a pad of paper and a pencil

"Anything else, Sir?"

"You might want to get a pad and pencil...Oh."

"When you wake them up, get them what they want."

"What–" Radar gets interrupted by the office door slamming open by a steaming, yet sleepy Hawkeye Pierce and Trapper McIntyre.

Hawkeye starts a rant by saying, "How can you do this, Henry? All of the Nurses get transferred? For how long? I can't believe you did such a thing!"

Trapper adds with a, "Do you know how much those Nurses mean to us? They're our favorite part of the whole war! Why would you, of all people, someone who can't ignore a Nurse yourself agree to this?"

"If I do this program, it means I get a lot of points towards home! Maybe I'll be gone within a couple of months."

"Just exactly how long is this switch?"

"About a week."

"How can it be 'About a week'? Either it's a week or it's not!"

"Alright, it's a week. Dismissed."

Angry as ever, Hawkeye who always has to get the last word in murmurs, "It better be a week."