--10 Things J.K. Rowling Never Wrote--

1. Sirus Black is spending the afterlife working his way through Russian literature. He is currently reading Chekov, and hopes to meet him at next week's mixer.

2. Colin Creevy already has the picture of Harry Potter that will make him rich someday, though he doesn't yet realize it.

3. Neville Longbottom grows Cannabis sativa in the back left corner of Greenhouse Three.

4. Luna Lovegood secretly doubts the existence of Gulping Plimpies, but has personally seen the Aquavirius Maggot, and thinks it rather pretty.

5. Twelve Grimmauld Place burned to the ground on the night of April 26, 1978, but reappeared untouched the next morning.

6. Within six months of his death, Albus Dumbledore's tomb is entangled in so many white roses it can no longer be seen. The flowers resist any attempt to cut them, whether by knife or magic.

7. In her first year at Hogwarts, Hermione Granger cast a spell to find out the name of her true love, but refuses to believe the results.

8. After her seventh year, Ginny Weasley will move to America and become the star of the season's biggest sitcom, The Trouble With Redheads. Unfortunately, she will find herself typecast after its six year run, and her biggest success thereafter will be in Loreal commercials.

9. Lavender Brown actually kind of hates kissing.

10. In five years, Severus Snape and Remus Lupin will find themselves minority owners in the Holyhead Harpies Quidditch club, newly purchased by the Weasley Twins. The club will show its first profit in 600 years. This will not make Severus like Remus any better.


A/N: Feed back of any kind is adored and petted.