Summary: Sam and Dean have always been freaks, Sam found out when he was twenty two just how much of a freak he was. It wasn't until the boys are trapped once again by the demon that they find out Dean's little secret that none of them knew about.
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em or the show but man… I wish I did.
A/N: So we reach the end of this little tale because yep, this is officially the last chapter. I can't believe it's finally finished... I'm shocked actually. So I'm gonna say a quick thank you to everyone who's been reading this and let you get on with it ^_^
"I know you Dean." The words echoed all around the empty expanse before settling in Dean's ears, sinking into his mind as the demon taunted him – the mirror image in front of him with a twisted smile and a sadistic twinkle to his eye. "I know how weak and pathetic you feel." It accentuated each word, forcing them out and adding just a tiny little bit of venom behind each one, just enough to fuel Dean's already extreme self-loathing. "I know how much you always tried to earn Daddy's praise… Hell, I know how much you wanted him to just look at you – the way he looked at Sammy."
"Shut up." Dean growled, his fists clenching tightly by his sides, nails digging into his skin as he continued to circle with the demon – two alpha males fighting for dominance, and only one could win. "You know nothing about me."
"I know how much it hurt when your Daddy told you to kill Sammy boy because he was too much of a coward to do it himself. Dean, Dean, De-an… you really need to stop lying to yourself." The malicious grin spreader further as the demon tilted its head to the side as if appraising Dean, studying him carefully only to find him lacking. "Because you are weak Dean, weak and powerless and ignorant… but you could be so much more if you would just let me show you how. You're gonna break Dean, it's only a matter of time."
"Screw you 'cause I ain't breaking and you… you ain't getting me or my brother."
But the demon shook its head in reply and it unnerved Dean to see the damn son of a bitch so confident. He could still feel the ache and stinging of that stuff inside his veins and he wondered what it was doing to his body and whether or not he had any control of it – which according to the demon, he didn't.
"Tii-iiime, is on my side. Yes it is." The words left the demon's mouth in the form of a tune Dean had heard many times before and it made him stiffen as the demon mocked him, continuing with its little karaoke session as they both came to a stand still. "Tii-iiime, is on my side. Yes it is. Now you always say, that you want to be free. But you'll come running back… you'll come running back-"
But the repeated line faded into the background as Dean felt a gentle whisper in his ear as the voice of the angel drowned the words out, her breath causing the air to ripple as it caressed his skin. "Don't listen to him."
He could barely control the sharp intake of breath as the sudden words surprised him and he turned to look at her, not even surprised to find that there was no one there… the darkness just as empty as before. And the demon must have noticed Dean's sudden lack of attention, the song dying on its lips as it narrowed its eyes and took a step forward.
"You know it's the truth. You can't play ignorant forever. These powers of yours, they're dangerous… and you're only gonna end up hurting someone unless you let me teach you how to use the-"
The words were drowned out once again though as Becky's voice returned, speaking to him and only him, and as the demon just continued talking, Dean realised it had no idea that Becky's consciousness was on the loose.
"You have to wake up Dean. You know what to do and you know how… you can control this. So wake up Dean, Sam needs you."
Old yellow eyes moved the gun so that it was pointed at Sam's shoulder, the threat evident as the demon rocked side to side, mocking and taunting Sam as if it were having the time of its life. It wouldn't shoot to kill, only to injure and cause even more pain… Sam was sure of that, just as he was sure that if it did decide to pull the trigger, there would be nothing he could do about it. He felt his insides squirming at how helpless he felt and how damn stupid he was for falling for the demon's tricks… And now he was in no better position and the demon's finger was getting awfully twitchy on that trigger.
"I wouldn't do that if I was you." It was Dean's voice that rang out in the darkness and Sam wasn't sure whether or not that was a good thing, being that he could even see his brother past Becky's body… All he knew was that the words had caught the demon's attention and that the gun was slowly being lowered as the demon turned to face Dean instead.
"And what do you plan to do to stop me?" The demon asked, its voice a vicious venom laced with a cocky bravado and also just a smidgen of doubt… "You've got no colt… no devil's trap. Hell, I bet you don't even have a Latin ritual stored up there amongst all those old classic rock songs you love so much. So tell me Dean, why should I be afraid of you?"
"I don't care if you're afraid of me." Dean retorted, circling around the demon so that Sam was now in sight – it made him breath a little easier and judging by the sudden look of relief on his brother's face, he figured Sam felt the same. "But you should be afraid of what I can do to you."
"And what is that again Dean?" The words were followed by a scoff filled with disbelief and in reply, Dean smiled, holding out his hand – palm up as he concentrated until a tiny flame flickered into life, dancing in mid air, growing slowly in size as it fed off the oxygen in the air and the power in Dean's veins. And the eldest Winchester didn't miss the way the demon paled, or the way he swallowed suddenly, losing face for just a fraction of a second. "How?"
"Does that really matter?" The smile turned into a smirk and Dean could see the demon growing angry, unsure for the first time that it was in control of the situation. And Dean couldn't help but remember that old saying that had been drummed into him as a kid – if you play with fire, you're gonna get burnt. Or in the demons case, extra friggin' crispy.
The plan was half cocked and stupid and he had no idea what the permanent effects would be. All he knew was that he had to move fast because the demon was scared and was getting ready to leave poor lil' Becky behind in attempt to flee from what it knew was coming. No way could Dean let that happen. This was his chance, this was the window of opportunity and he was jumping right on through, not caring where it took him.
He rushed forward, his hand moving up to cover Becky's mouth just as the demon tried to make its exit – but of course Dean was too quick. He couldn't bear to watch though as the flames burned hot in his hand and the demon's muffled cry was silenced by the intrusion of white hot pain. Closing his eyes, he drew Becky's body closer into him, wrapping his spare arm around her waist in a tight embrace as his head fell to rest gently against the side of hers.
"I'm sorry Becky." He whispered, a tear slipping down his cheek before the fire engulfed the pair of them, taking them both into its heated grasp, refusing to let go…
Speechless, Sam was forced to move backwards, the heat too unbearable for his body to stand. And he hated Dean for not consulting him first… for not giving him a chance to talk him out of it. He turned his head to the side, eyes half closed as he tried his hardest not to stare into the almost blinding light.
And the flames grew higher and more intense, the fire raging around the pair but leaving both of their skins and clothing untouched as if it had another purpose… And it didn't stop until Becky fell limp in Dean's arms, the flames dying and fading as he laid her gently on the road, still holding her tightly, his hand supporting her head. Her eyelids flickered open to reveal a dim amber and her chest heaved as she coughed, blood spilling over to stain her lips. But still she smiled, raising her hand to lightly stroke his cheek.
"Oh God, Becky… I'm so sorry."
"Shhhh, you- you did what you had to. I knew you c-could." Her voice was so soft and hushed that he had to strain to hear her words and he could feel his eyes already filling up with tears but he shook his head, not wanting to believe that she was dying… and he was the one who had caused it.
"There has to be a way to fix this… there has to be someth-"
"Dean… listen to me." She cut him off. "This isn't yo-ur fault." Another cough wracked her body as more blood trickled out and down her paling skin, and as Sam looked a little closer he saw the remnants of tiny black specks mixed in with the red and it was only then that he began to realise what Dean had done.
"You scorched his essence." He whispered, voicing his thoughts out loud but he didn't expect a reply as he knelt down opposite his brother, watching Dean cling to the broken angel desperately. He knew how hard it was for Dean to do what he had done, knew how hard it had been for him to sacrifice someone else's life… but he could also see in the angel's eyes that she had meant to let herself be sacrificed.
"I never left you, you know." She smiled, her fingers stopping the tracing of Dean's cheek as her hand rested and cupped it instead, feeling a little lighter as he leaned into it, clutching her hand with his own. Her breath hitched momentarily but she forced back the sudden movement so she could finish saying what she needed to say. "I couldn't inte-intervene but I was always there. I knew from the moment you were born that I would love you more than I was ever supposed to… I knew th-"
"Shh." Dean uttered, mimicking her earlier sound as he shook his head, letting a stray tear fall down his cheek to seep over their hands. More threatened to spill as he watched her eyes fall closed, her head gently nodding as she did so, accepting her fate, accepting her death. "Thank you." For everything.
But he wasn't sure whether she'd actually heard the words, her chest suddenly falling still and hand becoming slightly heavier as any life that was left now ebbed away into nothingness. As he tried to breathe, he found it hurt so much more than he expected, almost too much. Looking up, his eyes found Sam's and their gazes locked, both understanding silently what they had to do now.
There was no big celebration. No quiet one either. Hell, neither of the brothers could even find the energy to sing a chorus of 'Ding dong the demon's dead'. Instead, they just resigned themselves to salting and burning Becky's body, watching it in the dead of night as the world kept turning, time leaving the pair of them alone for just that short little while as they mourned for yet another life lost.
When Sam asked later what exactly had happened, Dean told him the truth. He'd explained how he'd sent the fire coursing through each and every fibre of Becky's body, aiming it at the demon… but then that meant that Becky also got it as well. But the bigger question came later than that, Dean had expected it.
He thought about it as he lay on the motel bed, watching from the corner of his eye as Sam grabbed his jacket and the keys to the Impala. They were holed up in yet another run down place as Dean healed up, another batch of antidote running through his system and fighting against the demonic poison – only this time it was winning. And Bobby, he had headed back to South Dakota, reluctantly leaving the boys to get on with it and things were supposed to be going back to normal… but really, what was normal for them?
"You want anything?" Sam asked at the doorway and Dean shook his head in reply. Two weeks and he still had no real appetite, his mind still back on that old dusty road with the dying angel. Sam understood, which Dean was thankful for. It meant one less thing to explain and silently, the youngest Winchester slipped out and left Dean to his thoughts.
Sighing, Dean held his hand out in front of him, palm up as he studied it, thinking back to the big question… the one that both brothers really wanted an answer to. What about their mojo? What happened to that? Of course, with Sam and his visions, it was too early to tell but Sam believed that they were gone, he claimed to feel a little more 'normal' and Dean believed him, or maybe it was that he wanted to believe him so he just fooled himself into doing so, either way it didn't matter.
And of course, Dean had told Sam the same thing. That he believed it was gone… that he too felt normal… but how was he supposed to know what normal was when he'd supposedly had his little gift ever since the fire? His entire life, he'd resigned himself to being labelled as a freak. He rebelled at first of course, but then he found himself sliding into the role, even moulding it to fit him more aptly… and so he lied. Tired of the label, tired of being even more of a freak than he had first imagined. And Sam believed him. Well, it wasn't like Sam had any reason not to really.
But sitting there, watching his hand, he looked on in morbid fascination as fire caressed his fingertips, dancing across them until immediately extinguishing as he clenched his fist and brought it back down to his side. So yeah, he was a freak… but he was a freak on his terms, no one else's.
And he was gonna keep it that way.
Thank you so so so so so much for reading and sticking with me until the end. It has been a long and tiresome journey but I really appreciate it and can't say thank you enough for all the encouragement.
And now the story is over, its time for a little fun trivia and some final author notes:
-First, this was originally a one shot... and considering the oneshot was barely 1000 words, I'm quite surprised I managed to get a 60,000+ word story out of it so I owe a big thank you to the guys who encouraged me to continue on with the story and also to those who have kept encouraging me the whole time, even those silent lurkers, you're all awesome!!
-Whilst writing this story I created a playlist of songs starting with the letter F and every single one of the chapter titles was on that playlist. It was something I decided to do after I noticed that I'd named the first two official chapters after songs that started with F.
-A friend of mine who makes awesome vids was kind enough to make me a trailer type vid for this story and I never got to share it with anyone but the youtube link is www(dot)youtube(dot)com(slash)watch?v=21HEG-mI4gY She's awesome! As is Gurken from ungen who made me a really awesome banner too. So this chapter is dedicated to you guys - all of you who have supported me constantly through reviews, recs and also just through reading.
-And lastly, yes... I so stole the song Time is on my side by the Rolling Stones from the movie Fallen starring Denzel Washington. I mean come on! How could I resist? It popped into my head and considering that the demon in that movie is called Azazel.. well, it was too perfect and I had to. :D
-Also, to GadgetGirl25 who requested some Evil!Sam and some Evil!Dean, there will be some of that in another fic I'm currently working on and most likely later fics too. But damn, I'm almost reluctant to let this story die after keeping it alive so long... it'll be weird to clicked that 'finished' button.
Thank you all so much!