"You did that on purpose…" accused a stern voice.
"No, I didn't," recoiled a low growl, "if ya knew how ta hand a guy a plate this wouldn't happen."
"Oh so it's my fault, is it," snorted the other voice, "you've been breakin' stuff left n' right but it's my fault? Hey! Where do you think you're goin' you better clean this mess up."
"What ya can't use your eyes either…" sarcastically bellowed back, "I'm getting' the damn broom!"
Michelangelo peered over the edge of his comic book, annoyed by the commotion in the kitchen. Raphael broke a plate and Leonardo got in his face about it. Even Mikey could see that it was small stuff and not worth fighting about but this was Raph and Leo.
"They're fighting again," asked a soft murmur from behind him.
Mikey jumped a little startled and clutched his hand over his heart, "Shell don't do that to a guy, Donnie!" Then smiled faintly at Don and shrugged, "Yeah…they always fight…err…you know them."
"Not like this…" Don's voice trailed off, "it was never this bad before…" he bit his bottom lip and rubbed his forehead then turned to go back to his lab.
Mike's mouth opened then shut again, speechlessly, as he watched his brainy brother somber away down the hall. He glanced longingly down at his comic, "I'll be right back, my love," he gushed lovingly and petted the glossy cover. With a deep sigh, he hurled himself over the top of the couch and raced after Donatello.
"Hey you," Mikey cooed and tilted his head slightly to the side, "what's goin' on in here," he peered into Don's lab.
Donnie was seated at his desk, staring blankly at the computer monitor. "I just don't get it…ever since Leo drug him down that tunnel…he's been distant and wakin' up on the 'floor' with horrible nightmares that he won't talk about…he hasn't spent the whole night with me in weeks, he leaves in the middle of the night and…" he choked and his eyes started to string, "I just feel like I'm losing him." A tear rolled down Don's cheek before he buried his face in his hands.
Mike rushed over and snugly hugged Don, "hey now you're not losin' him…I..uhm…do you want me to talk to him bout it?"
Donnie furiously shook his head, "no, the last thing he needs is someone else lecturing him about it. I'm just getting worried I guess," he sniffed and rubbed his eyes.
"Ok I won't say anything to him," Mike sighed then glanced at Don's monitor, "what's this?" Mikey pointed at the screen and studied the 'foreign' language for a few seconds, "treatment for night terrors..."
Donnie nodded, "I think it's what Raph is suffering from…he trashes about, screaming and I can't wake him up…he says he doesn't remember them but you know Raph," he smiled weakly at Mike. "It can be treated with medication…but I can rarely get him to take aspirin… no way he'd take a tranquillizer," he sighed deeply.
"Hey!" Mikey declared brightly and his eyes widened massively, "try that backwards physic-babble trick thing on him?" Don just blinked baffled and Mike's smile dimmed slightly, "you know, instead of saying don't eat the cake say here eat cake…" Mike's stomach grumbled loudly, "uhm bad example now I want cake."
"Oh you mean reverse psychology," Donnie chuckled in spite of himself, "I tried that last time Raph was injured…he still refused to take any medicine. Good suggestion though," he sighed, "the nightmares I can deal with but he's grown almost cold to me now…we don't talk much anymore…you know?"
Mike scratched he head, "maybe you just need to take back some of the control."
Donnie tilted his head and asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well when I want Raph to go skateboarding with me I don't sit around and wait for him to wanta go, I throw his blades at him n' say 'dude let's go bust a pipe' and then he'll skate with me," Mikey grinned, "maybe you need ta say hey Raph 'shell here tonight' n' I bet he will."
"I don't want to force him to…" Don started
Mike interrupted, "You're not forcing him to do anything Donnie but you are letting him get away…I think Raph likes it when you take charge…or maybe you could just follow him back to his room when he leave at night…or…?"
Don's eyes dropped, "I don't know…you know how Raph is, he hates being told what to do and he needs his privacy."
Mikey smiled warmly at Don, "ya know for being the smart one ya sure miss a lot," he giggled then continued, "you didn't notice how he let you lead him away from his fight with Leo…he didn't even argue about it… just let you take him back home to put a Band-Aid on his booboo…now that ain't like him. Or when you told him you sabbbttaggee uhm broke his lock he wasn't in control of that…you were and if anyone else would've done that n' they would've gotten their shell kicked."
Donnie's mouth opened slightly then shut again as he pondered his little brother's perspective, "you know maybe you're right. He really seemed to like it in the shower when I…."
Mikey hands quickly covered his ear, "ahhhh ewwe don't wanta know…"
Donnie giggled and nodded, "no I suppose you wouldn't," then he hugged Mike, "thanks bro, I feel a lot better."
later in the cover of darkness
Donatello hovered apprehensively outside Raphael's bedroom door with an idle sweaty palm gripped upon the handle. Why am I so nervous; he thought to himself then quietly opened the door and slipped into the darkened room. Don heard a soft rustling sound as his brother shifted in his bed and asked in a hushed voice, "Are you awake?"
Raph rubbed his eyes and muttered a groggy, "yeah' he cleared his throat, "I'm awake."
With a confident smile, Don rushed over to Raph's bed and crawled under the covers, snuggling close to his brother. Raphael wrapped an arm around Donnie and yawned sleepily. Don's hand tentatively swept across Raph's plastron and curled his fingers under the adjacent chest plate. Raph's eyes closed and breathed a soft, "hey ya whacha doing?"
Without a word, Don nuzzled his beak against his brother's collarbone then sunk his teeth into the sensitive flesh. The unexpected exertion jolted Raph's eyes open and he inhaled forcefully. Don kissed the area he'd bitten and then with one swift motion hoisted himself on top of his brother and his other hand caressed downwards finally halted with his fingered curled under the bottom edge of Raph's shell.
Raphael groaned softly and muttered, "Feelin' a little frisky tonight babe?"
Don casually licked up Raph's neck and inched his hand further under his brother's shell, stroking the hardening flesh with his thumb. With a soft moan, Raph extended his organ from the security of his shell into Donnie's capable hand. The brainy turtle snaked his tongue into Raph's mouth and proceeded to rhythmically pump the engorged phallus.
Raph panted as delicious pressure surged throughout his body and leaned to flip his brother onto his shell.
Don firmly pressed his free hand against Raph's shoulder to block his brother's attempt to take the dominate position. Slowly Don's hand grazed across Raph's entrance and he glazed into his brother's puzzled brown eyes, "could I…" he blushed and bit his bottom lip, "just once…try to…if you want to that is."
Raph's eyes narrowed suspiciously then rapidly blinked and he evasively muttered, "Guess so if it's what ya wanta do."
Don enticingly traced his brother's plastron and whispered softly, "You sure?"
Raph looked sternly into Donnie eyes, "You said you wanted to so just do it already." He took a deep breath and spread his legs wider then wrapped them around Don's calves.
Don dropped his thick cock from his shell and rubbed it against Raph's tight ring of muscle. Raph gruffly exhaled and seized Don's organ, angling it for smooth passage into the intimate opening. Don sheepishly grinned and braced an arm above Raph's shoulder.
Raph's body tensed and he held his breath as his brother slowly inched his cock inside his clenched entrance. Once he was buried to the hilt Donnie waited or Raph to relax, kissing him tenderly. A look of pure torture crossed Raph's face and a vague residue of fear gleamed within his watery eyes.
"You need to relax," Donnie slowly stroked Raph's face, "Have you ever done this before?"
"Once," Raph's grumbled as he body started to tremble, "ok a few times."
Don's eye ridge scrunched, "Did you like it?"
"No," Raph swallowed hard, "I don't know…maybe…just get it over with."
Don had no intention in doing anything his brother wouldn't enjoy and started to pull out of Raphael…
Raph clutched Don's waist and glared at him, "Just do it…"
Don leaned in and kissed Raph's check, "then trust me to be your 'safety net' and relax…" he whispered softy into his brother ear, "I love you…"
later that same night
A flash of a strong confident body…he is thrown to the ground and pinned by the crushing weight on top of him…he struggles violently as his legs are forced apart…the figure dominates him and heedlessly drives a rigid organ deep into his virginal channel…the intense pain blinds him …his screams are muffled by a forceful kiss…he strains against the frenzied thrusts...unwilling pleasure mounts deep within…an instinctual force controls his hips as they rise and fall with the thrusts…he climaxes, erupting between their grinding bodies…the intruder releases hot fluids deep inside him…they relax holding one another for a moment…he feels unusually secure in the strong arms that hold him…the figure pulls away suddenly, ashamed, and flees into the darkness… the floor crumbles away…he falls…alone into the eternal blackness… A familiar hand firmly grabs a hold of his arm preventing his plummet…a loving voice calls his name…"Raph, Raph wake up, Raph wake up."
Raphael opened his eyes and blinked rapidly; gradually he focused on the figure leaning over him. Donnie stared down at Raph with a concerned look on his face, "Are you alright? You were dreaming again and…"
"I'm fine," Raph grumbled evasively and rubbed his eyes.
"Are you sure? Raph you're shaking…" Donnie whispered his voice thick with concern. Again he received no answer from his brother; Don sighed deeply and rested his head against his brother's chest. "I wish you would just talk to me. I really do love you, Raph."
Raphael opened his eyes; "I know…" he hesitated then ran his hand along Donnie's backside. "It's just…" He squeezed his eyes shut and willed his body to stop trembling; slowly he realized that the ending of the nightmare that has plagued him for years had altered. He didn't fall. He wasn't alone. Raph sat up abruptly and scrambled off the bed. He shook his head in dismay and frantically searched the floor for his attire.
"Raph?" gasped Don, panic etched onto his olive green face, "Wha...what…where are you going?"
Raphael reached for Don's face and smoothed his other palm over the lines of worry on his brother's forehead. "I gotta go...I'll be right back," he mumbled, staring into his brother's startled brown eyes.
Don opened his mouth to protest but Raphael quickly filled it with a passionate kiss. He tenderly broke away from Don's lips and he softly whispered, "Trust me, I'll be right back."
Donnie gloomily watched his heart's desire swiftly depart then reappear in the doorway and to blow him a reassuring kiss. Raph was gone, again. "I just don't understand why he won't talk to me," he sighed and cradled his head in his hands.
Raphael quickly darted down the stairs and bee-lined towards the lair's exit, he finally understood what he had to do and…
Leonardo sharply appeared blocking the exit and menacingly glared at Raph, "Going out for a midnight stroll; shouldn't you be with Donnie? You know, doing right by him," he huffed sarcastically.
Raphael temporarily froze by the sight of his older brother then slowly stepped towards Leo; he paused a few feet away and sighed deeply, "I know why you're being like this Leo" his eyes fell to the floor and he whispered, "But can't you just be happy for us."
Leo shook his head with frustration, "I want to be happy for you…but Raph…" he cut off and looked away as he tried to gather his thoughts.
Raphael continued to speak as though Leo hadn't said a word; "I had that dream again Leo…" his voice trailed off for a moment. "It changed…and I know what I gotta do now before I can let myself lo…" his voice caught in his throat. Raph inhaled deeply, and then boldly looked directly into Leo's eyes.
Leonardo shifted nervously at the unexpected severity in Raphael's dark eyes and muttered, "Look I just don't want to see Donnie or you get...hurt. I don't want you to get hurt… again." Leo suddenly seemed interested in a crack on the floor and idly fidgeted with his belt.
Raphael gently placed his fingers under Leo's chin and forced his brother to look at him, "Leo I…I finally get it," sharplysearched his brother's eyes, "I…err… loved you n'…it sucked when you…uhm…stopped it…and I…I just let myself get so…so," swallowed hard and clenched his hands into tight balls, "so angry…I didn't care who I hurt, to get back at you."
Leo's jaw stiffened and his eyes snapped shut, "I…I…never meant to hurt you." His breathing became swallow as chest constricted, strangling his lungs, and a tear escaped down his cheek.
Raph's steady hand rested on Leo's shoulder, "I know you never meant to and I held onto it for way too long, I'm sorry."
Leonardo carefully studied his brother for a moment then leaned in and passionately kissed him; Raph momentarily hesitated then abruptly pulled away, shaking his head.
Leo solemnly whispered, "If I would've known," he shrugged, "not brothers…" his saddened eyes swept across Raph's face, "I would have never let you go."
Raph awkwardly shifted his stance and cleared his throat, "It would've saved a lot of…uhm…heartache," he murmured softly.
Leo exhaled and tilted his head away, "You love him?"
Their eyes locked, "yeah…I think so…"Raph shamelessly replied.
Leo nodded and attempted to swallow the lump in the back of his throat, "you better go tell him then," his voice cracked. Leo leaned in and kissed Raph's cheek then swiftly turned away to conceal the fresh tears streaming down his face.
Raphael impulsively reached for his elder brother to comfort him but halted and than decided it was best to leave it as it was; Leo was strong and by tomorrow he'll be himself again, free of the pain and guilt they had carried for years. "Thank you," he softly whispered to Leo before he climbed up the stairs back to his room.
Raph opened the bedroom door to find Donnie sitting on the edge of the bed, his head cradled in his hands. "Don?"
Donnie sniffed a little disheartened, "That was fast," slowly he shifted his gaze over to Raph and sharply inhaled, "Are you alright?" He quickly leapt over to Raph and touched his brother's face. "What's wrong? Please talk to me Raph," he pleaded and searched Raph's wary eyes.
Raph embraced Don, he was shaking, and then pulled back just far enough to gaze directly into Don's imploring eyes, he swallowed hard and confessed his darkest secret; "The nightmares' about…" he lowered his eyes and slightly turned his face away, "I slept with Leo."
Don's jaw gapped open and he stumbled backward away from his brother and gasped, "WH…when!??!"
"Years ago," Raph closed his eyes and choked out an explanation, "it was my first but it didn't last long and it had happened so fast and…err I don't know…hurt me pretty damn bad for a long time."
"That explains a lot," Don exclaimed softly as swept a hand across the back of his neck. "Do you still love him," he meekly asked and his eyes swept across the floor.
Raph eyes grazed along the floor, "part of me always will…"his voice trailed off...
Insecurity slapped hard Donnie across the face and he turned away from his brother, "Wh…why are you telling me this, Raph…"
Raphael cautiously approached his brother and rested his hands on Don's tense shoulders, "I had to…I mean I…" he whispered in a low voice, "I can't hide it anymore cause I…I…well ya needed answers…for me being so uhm distant n' stuff…and I don't wanta be afraid of…I mean I don't wanta…because I…," he took a deep breathe and gently squeezed Donnie's shoulders, "Don I'm in love you."
Don's heart swelled with unrestricted joy and he tackled his lover down on the bed, giggling, "Really?"
Raphael chuckled as he nodded and gently started to work his mouth on Don's neck and shoulders then secured his brother tightly at his side.
It was very late at night by this point so Don nuzzled snuggly in the nook of Raph's strong arm and ran his hand along his brother's chest plates, "You haven't…you know with Mike…have you?"
Raph rolled his eyes mockingly and teased sarcastically, "No but at this rate I guess he's next in line."
Don slapped Raphael hard on his chest, "you jerk!"
Raphael grabbed Don's wrist and forced it up over his head then straddled him, "I'm your jerk now and I ain't goin' anywhere," he playfully smirked down at his 'struggling' brother.
Don giggled and wrapped his legs around 'his' hothead, "Whoever said I was going to let you leave," he mused raising an eye ridge. Raph leaned in closer to…
The pair of turtles froze, horrified by the familiar voice; and then sheepishly shifted their positions to peer at the darkened silhouette of their master, who stood sternly in the open doorway.
The old rat carefully studied the two turtles and sighed, "My sons, everything has its beauty but not everyone sees it…or wishes to hear it; we will speak more of this in the morning. Go to sleep my sons." Master Splinter slowly nodded as he closed the door and ambled back towards his chambers.
Author's Note: ducks n' covers Please don't hate me…I bruise easily. chuckles A special thanks to my big brother the RatSmith for taking the time to proof read the chapters and make the awesome thumbnails. Also a shout out for GibbiousWolf who's insight into the Michelangelo skateboarding slang was invaluable. Thank you all so much for reading it and I do hope you enjoyed it.