Author's Note: Yes, yet another one-shot! I just got this chain mail and thought it was hilarious and it sparked my imagination! Don't worry! I'm working on the next chapter to "Changing Hearts"! And on "Beauty and the Beast", it will become a two-shot. I will start making it once I'm done with the next chap of C.H.!
The Guys' Rules
Young Haruno Sakura had just gotten home from a long day at the hospital. She groaned from exhaustion. It was a stressful day. A team of chunin came in seriously wounded from a rank B mission, along with a few minor injuries from genin involving a cat, and a training accident with Naruto and Sasuke. Their over-competitiveness got the better of those two. Not to mention long-term illnesses of the townspeople.
Sakura laid down on her bed and closed her eyes, sprawling out her once again long, rosette hair. Sasuke had convinced her to grow it out again. Of course, it didn't take much convincing on Sasuke's part. For Sakura, all he needed to say was 'I'd like your hair longer'.
Sasuke and Sakura had become close since his return from the Sound. When he came through the village gates, Sakura was naturally ecstatic. And for some reason Sasuke did not stop her from glomping him. Naruto says he could've sworn Sasuke was smirking from the contact. Through out the next days, Sasuke wasn't so much of a cold-hearted bastard he was when he left. He was just anti-social, not surprising. He talked a little more, but mostly listened. He listened to Sakura about what had happened while he was gone, growling whenever Sai was mentioned. Sakura reasoned that the only reason why he was listening was he had nothing better to do. After all, he does have a five-year probation and isn't allowed to go one foot outside the village.
Of course, Sakura had feelings for Sasuke still, but was trying not to come on too strong. She didn't want Sasuke thinking she still was the annoying fan girl she was five years ago. Also, she had other things to worry about, like HER admirers. Sakura had most definitely changed over the years, especially physically. She had grown out of her scrawny twelve year old body and into a curvy, long legged seventeen year old body. Not even Sasuke could ignore the changes. There have been some rumors about HIM being in Sakura's fan club…
Sakura opened her jade eyes and forced herself to get up. She had to be prepared for tomorrow. Tsunade always gave Sakura mission briefings via email when ever Sakura was swamped at the hospital. She would also get emails from her friends like chain letters, tests, quizzes, etc. Every now and then she would receive a short email from Sasuke telling her to train with him the next day.
Sakura logged onto her email and deleted all her junk email or love letters from fans. Once she had cleared all the non-important emails, she was slightly surprised to see an email from Sasuke that didn't have the subject 'Train.' The title said 'The Guys' Rules'. It seemed like a chain letter, but Sasuke wasn't the type to continue chain letters. Sakura eagerly opened the email.
Subject: The Guys' Rules
Read these and memorize them. They are all numbered one because each rule is the number one rule.
1. Men ARE not mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Empathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color! Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as weapons, work outs, or justus.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. We are in shape. Round is a shape!
1. We love sleeping on the couch. It's like camping.
If you want to be my girlfriend, learn these conditions. See you at six.
Sakura stared wide-eyed at the computer screen. She was still trying to comprehend the message.
"…Did Sasuke …just ask me …out?" Sakura mumbled to herself.
Her mouth curved into one gigantic grin from ear to ear. Her eyes lit up as she climbed and stood on top of her bed slowly. Sakura took a deep breath.
"OH MY GOD, UCHIHA SASUKE JUST ASKED ME OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sakura screamed at the top of her lungs, so that all of Konaha could hear.
She jumped around on her bed squealing and giggling like a fan girl. This was truly the happiest moment Sakura had ever endured. She felt like she was on cloud-nine. She squeezed her favorite plushy as her little puppy came in the door, responding to her excitement.
Sakura gigged and picked her 'baby' up, "Oh Raku-chan, I was just asked out by the love of my life! EEEEEEEEE!"
Sakura rolled onto her side, still giggling, and checked the clock.
It was 5:30.
Sakura screamed, "AHH! I have to get ready!"
From then 'till six o'clock, little Raku-chan only saw a blur of Sakura, make-up and clothes.
Author's Note: Yea, the rules seem OOC for Sasuke, but I thought it would be so funny if Sasuke said them! I mean, he's Sasuke!