Lurid Desires of One's Heart - Prelude
Warnings: Yaoi, incest (Uchihacest), future lemon, possible oocness, seriousness/angst, etc. Doesn't necessarily follow the plot lines of the anime/manga.
Setting: Konoha-Uchiha estate/district
notes: Itachi is thirteen, and Sasuke is eight. The first few chapters including this prelude are Itachi's memories.
Description: Feelings that were never anticipated, rose within. Anything would be done in order to protect that which those emotions well up for…
The soft crunch crunching of soil, earth, and gravel sounded under the treads of my shoes with each and every step I took further to my 'home'. It had been a particularly long tedious mission that I had just returned from, and I was certainly in no mood for what I knew was coming once I reached the place where my belongings rest, it could hardly be called a home. Sasuke would be thrilled with my return, father would sit quietly-stoic by all demeanor, and mother would smile softly while preparing dinner.
My precious little brother would be enthused, asking this and that about the mission I had just returned from, eyes aglow as I knew anything I said he would soak up like a sponge, giving him all the more reason to look up to his older brother. His attention for me was unwanted, just as all attention was. Being revered was taking its toll, and more and more was expected of me. Not that I couldn't handle that part, it was rather the former that was hard to digest.
All their doting affections are hardly geared in the right direction, yet I cannot bring myself to halt their persistent interest in me because I know my words would crush them. I do what is asked of me, swiftly executing the task with utmost precision, and somehow that is the most wonderful thing in the world to them. Is it that shocking that something so easy could be accomplished without much difficulty? It's common sense. It aggravates me that I am valued for something that should come natural to everyone, and it is unfortunate that something so simple cannot be fathomed by most of the populace. Thus, the awe they experience leads them to label me a prodigy. These notions of these people around me, shall never cease to amaze and irritate me with their lack of astuteness.
One thing is promising in this lackluster life of mine, and that is Sasuke. Even though he may play the role of needy annoying little brother at the moment, I know that if he aspires greatness, he will achieve it. I thwart his ambitions to bond with me simply to rouse an understanding within him. I want him to see that that needy affection he so craves, isn't necessary to become someone worthy of respect. If anything, that desire hinders.
I know he craves to excel beyond even what I had achieved at his age. This desire burns in his eyes, the need to surpass me. He feels it, I know because it is written all over his features, yet every time he does not measure up, he becomes infuriated with himself. Then, without any hesitation, he throws himself into whatever it is, working hard to achieve the short term goal.
I smile momentarily, then realize through all my musings that I have come upon my destination. My smile fades.
The loud roar of streaming water filled my ears while the water itself soaked my skin, slicking my long hair to my skull as I stood under the spray. I'd been standing there a while reveling in the feeling it gave me, but I noticed the water was fading slowly to colder temperatures until it cooled the skin it heated only moments before. I continued to stand there letting the cold water run the length of my back when the door opened.
"Aniki?" Came the plaintive call from Sasuke who stood just outside the bath. He stepped in, and closed the door with a soft click behind him. Without an answer he strode further in, calling my name this time.
I turned, avoiding the cold spray, and turned the shower off. I then opened the shower to be greeted by Sasuke who held out a towel for me. I took it, drying myself leisurely.
"What is it you want?"
"I…I just wanted to spend some time…with you." Came the innocent response as his gaze shifted to look at the tiles of the floor, his feet shuffled with uncertainty.
Immaculately I dried every part of my skin with the fluffy towel, patting my hair dry with it before wrapping the rectangular fabric around my waist. Dampness still hung in the air, and clung to my skin.
"What did you have in mind?"
Surprised by this turn of events, he looked up with wide onyx eyes. The glint from the overhead light made them shine brighter than I'd ever remembered causing one word to come to mind: Adorable. That thought was quickly discarded as he latched onto me, wrapping his small wiry arms around my waist. His cheek pressed against my naked chest, and he nuzzled the skin there.
My emotionless features never faltered, even when he looked up to answer the simple question I'd asked moments before, "I don't care as long as you spend time with me." He knew not to ask much of me, for fear of being turned down with the kind words of a promise, and a prod of his forehead.
Right hand's fingers seemingly moved of their own will burying themselves in the soft tresses at the left side of Sasuke's head as he smiled up at me like the ray of sunshine he is. A nagging feeling, possibly my untapped conscience, was willing me to put my younger brother at arms length, yet today I felt like humoring his simple request.
"Star gazing, otouto?"
"Hai! The day was mostly gone, and I figured you must be tired from your mission, so…"
He was very observant to notice something I didn't allow myself to show externally. I was tired, unbelievably so.
"I thought it would be nice to just look at stars with you."
He let go of my left hand which he had been holding with both of his as he dragged me from the Uchiha district, then led me to the top of a lone grassy knoll perfect for star gazing. He turned from me looking up at the sky as I stared at his back bathed in moonlight that barely peaked a line of dense foliage from the east. He turned back to me just as quickly as he had turned away, and clasped my hand in his once again to pull me down beside him.
I sat down awkwardly for a moment before laying back amongst the cool grass of the surrounding area. It's temperature drove away the heat that radiated from my skin in waves as I made myself comfortable.
Sasuke startled me as he leaned against my still form, laying his head on my shoulder, but I quickly adjusted wrapping that shoulder's arm around his slight one. The warmth from his body was reassuring, literally sapping any anxieties that had built up over the past few days. Sasuke…everyone takes your existence for granted…even me.
Sasuke shifted in my arms in an effort to face me. I regarded him when he finally managed to turn in my one arm embrace, but something was amiss. My brows furrowed as his lips touched mine politely before he pulled back smiling.
"I love you, nii-san." Sasuke proudly stated.
I blinked astonished that he would act in such a manner. My lack of response caused his smile to falter when the proclamation of affection wasn't returned.
"Anou…" He sat back on his heels as he explained, "When Otousan and Okaasan think they are alone, I watch them. When I saw that they showed each other how much they felt, I thought I wanted to show you how much I cared the way they did." Sasuke shivered when he finished, whether from the chill night air or my intense gaze, I did not know.
He visibly tensed when I did not respond to the secret he had divulged, "Did I do something wrong?"