Genre – Angst/Romance
Format – 2nd person
Couplings – Dr Cox/JD, Turk/Carla
Warnings – Slash, swearing, alcohol abuse
A/N – OK so I lied, this is going to be a four parter! Grr, I wish I could cut some of it, but after I write things I become attached and, well, you know how it goes, so basically you'll have to wait a little while for a full and proper ending (perhaps with even a little smut). But after part four no more, I promise! No fifth part!
Oh, and any title suggestions anyone?
Prove It: Part 3
"You've got to go home at some point, you know." says Carla, and you feel a hot wave of shame wash over you, because you know that she knows exactly why you can't go back to the cold, empty apartment (because you're so damn lonely).
Instead of admitting this (or anything else, even to yourself) you just snarl at Carla and wrench a chart from her grasp.
"You've slept for three hours in the on call room over the past two days; if you keep this up much longer you're going to start hurting people."
"Carla" you mutter, dangerously "I'm the best darn doctor in this hellhole, and if you continue to nag me the only person I'm going to hurt around here will be you."
She's visibly stunned at this, and she takes a step towards you, blocking your path, her arms folded.
"Now you just shut up and listen to me! I don't know what's going on with you and Jordan, and if you don't want me to, I'm not going to ask about whatever crazy, anger-fuelled denial you're going through, but I am telling you one thing and that in this state you are not fit to look after anyone in this hospital, and I would be ignoring not only my responsibilities as a nurse, but those I have as a person, if I let it continue. So give me the keys to your damn car because I am taking you home right now, and God help you if you ever threaten me again."
You glare into each others eyes, but in a few seconds you realise you're too tired for this and visibly slump, handing her the Porsche keys.
She takes you by the arm and almost drags out of the hospital.
The journey back to your apartment passes in a blur, Carla occasionally glaring murderously over at you and then muttering things under her breath in Spanish.
Before you've had time to even try and decipher anything she's said, the car stops with a lurch, and she's dangling the keys in front of your face. Her eyes, despite their anger, are filled with concern.
"Now I have to get back to the hospital but I'm checking up on you as soon as my shift is over. Get some sleep, and if you do anything stupid I'll kill you, OK?"
You grunt in response, but get out of the car all the same.
"Hey you guys, what's going on?"
You walk up to Turk and Carla in the waiting area, where Carla stands, obviously angry, Turk stubbornly refusing to acknowledge this by avoiding her gaze.
"Turk's mad because I'm bailing on his 'quality time' this evening, even though he knows we're just going to end up falling asleep on the couch again."
"Baby I'm not mad!" Turk denies, unconvincingly "I just don't see why it's your responsibility to check up on Dr Cox!
"Because he's my friend, Turk, and Jordan just left him!" Carla snaps in response.
"Woah, woah, woah, baby, you never said nothin' about Jordan."
"Yes I did and if you took one second out of that big, bald stupid head of yours…"
(Something doesn't seem right)
"Hold up guys, why do you need to check up on Dr Cox?"You ask, and wish you could have kept the panicked edge out of your tone.
"He decided to pull a 60 hour shift at the hospital before I took him home, he's avoiding something, and I just don't think he should be on his own in the apartment at the moment… I'm surprised you didn't know JD."
And you don't know why it's anything to do with you, you just know that it is, and that you shouldn't have just gone home after what he said to you yesterday, but you were just so awkward and confused that you'd mentally blocked the conversation, and had avoided him in order to, you tell yourself, give him time to calm down (you were scared)
Carla's glaring at you now though as if she expects you to know the right thing to say. Fortunately, for once, you think you do.
"Carla why don't you go home with Turk… I think I need to go and see Dr Cox."
She looks you steadily in the eye and burns unspoken emotions into your soul.
"JD, you know this is not about Jordan."
You break the gaze.
"I… I've got to go."
You enter the apartment half expecting to see Jordan and Dr Cox at each other's throats, or reconciling, or something, not just him sitting alone on the couch, scotch in hand, staring into space.
"The um… the door was open."
"Get out of here." He growls, not looking at you.
"I think we need to –"
"Did you not hear me Shirley? Get the hell out of here!"
His voice is filled with anger and unhappiness, and you wish, somehow, that you could touch him and draw it out of him, like an antidote, like Rogue from X-men, except without the whole killing him. You reckon he'd probably crucify you for having these thoughts, and then mock you for comparing yourself to Rogue when she could kick you're little girl ass any day.
But that was the old Doctor Cox, and that was a time that was just a few days ago, but felt like it was from a different world.
You note that the apartment is painfully bare; empty, clean surfaces surround you, and you realise that Jordan must have taken Jack's stuff too.
"Are you going to see him still?"
"What?" he finally looks at you, wrathfully, and his eyes can't seem to focus. You wonder how much scotch he's had.
"Jack, I mean."
"I know who you mean, and yes I can, I'm his father! It's the one thing that she… that she can't take away from me." The end of the sentence is almost whispered, and you don't know quite what to do (he needs you).
But you don't know what's wrong, how can you help when you don't know, all you know is that he's alone, and has been ever since the last time you were here and you, you drove a wedge between them.
(And you still don't understand)
"Is this my fault?"
He says nothing. "Is it?" you repeat, almost afraid, because how on earth can this be your fault? He emits a laugh that's so harsh and empty that it claws at your insides.
"Don't beat yourself up Newbie; you really think you're that important to either of us?"
And something just clicks in you're brain.
"I… I'd like to think so." And what the hell are you saying, but with trembling hands you grab his scotch and down it in one gulp, and as he turns to look at you all of a sudden you're talking, talking and verbalising all these things that you've never quite managed to understand since the very first day you met Dr Cox and he looked into your eyes and told you were going to be fine, and every single second of your life from when you started at Sacred Heart begins to make sense (because you'd never realised what they meant when they talked about the way you looked at him before).
But you wonder if he knows and that's why he's being so strange with you, but what the hell would that have to do with Jordan (and you can't, you can't quite figure this out)
"Dr Cox, every second of my life at Sacred Heart you've been there for me, even if you haven't showed it, and I – I just want to help you through whatever this is… in any way you need me to, just like you helped me." You put your hand on his arm and he flinches before standing to glare down at you.
"You don't know what you're saying." He growls, but for the first time ever you hear a shred of doubt in his voice.
"What is this, what's going on?" You don't care how desperate that sounds as you edge towards him, the tension in the apartment so thick that you feel tied down, like you can hardly move through it, and you're staring deep into his eyes, and there's one million and one feelings there that are so fleeting you can't tell one from the other, and you're drowning in them, and all you want to do is erase them all and fill them with one thing, and that's you.
"Jordan left… because she told me I was in love with you."
You move a step closer to him and your lips are almost touching.
"And are you?" Everything in the world has stopped, apart from him and you and this moment, and you can feel your heart thumping so loudly in your chest that you think you're head is going to explode…
He wrenches his eyes away and whispers into the ground.
"Go home, Newbie."
You don't know why the hall outside the apartment looks so blurry until you reach up and find your face is wet.
Reviews please, next chapter up asap