Okay, first and foremost, this was meant to be a JOKE! Not a cheap shot at MarySue writers. This is something a friend of mine dared me to write and y'all know me, I don't back down from a challenge. Especially when I'm drunk, which for some odd reason is normally the time people dare me to write these kinda of things. This is not meant to offend anyone and as a matter of a fact, I'm taking a few cheap shots at my own fic in here and I'm currently in the middle of reading a few MS fics. Flames will be laughed it, mocked and picked apart by my many TCR fans.

Hopefully some of you will find this funny...

Ways to annoy the Mary-Sues of Ipswich...

1) Get legal binding proof that none of the four boys have ANY siblings and continuously wave the document around.

2) Constantly remind people that there was never a female recorded in the bloodline and there never will be...and no, Chase doesn't count. Even though he has bigger boobs then I do.

3) Insist that all five boys are gay!

4) Insist that the four boys only get it on with each other. (Hey, who can honestly say no to a decent foursome?)

5) Lock the school's registration so that no Girls-who-seam-to-be-normal-but-have-a-dark-secret can transfer in.

6) ...This includes any OC siblings of Aaron, Sarah or Kate.

7) If by some odd reason a new girl shows up, convince her to have an 'actual' personality and not one that's just a cheap knock off of Reid's.

8) Constantly inform them the four boys only grew up with each other and had no 'pretty' or 'soft spoken' girls for friends who then leave town and show up ten years later.

9) Give Gorman some actual attention.

10) Cancel all school dances, fund-raisers and parties so the boys can't hook up with some curvy blonde chick who thinks they're just 'Neat-o'.

11) Continuously slash Tyler with everyone and their brother so that no OC girls can get him.

12) Make sure you keep all five boys in line so that no one can 'accidentally' catch the boys using on camera.

13) If number 12 is ignored, make sure you carry the standard MIB flash pen and are fully instructed on how to use it properly.

14) Should you forget to carry the MIB flasher on you, a shotgun will work just fine.

15) If by some reason you accidentally flash it at the boys inform them they were just seconds away from a foursome and grab some popcorn.

16) Inform all of the victims of the skirt-flipping game that Reid's gay.

17)...With Tyler.

18) Remind people there are no such things as Vampires, Werewolves, Fairies, Pagan Temple Guardians or any other dark critters...at least not in Massachusetts.

19) Get proof that Chase really died that night at Putnum barn and did not fall through some dimensional vortex thingy and woke up somewhere else.

20) ...Or willed his powers away at the last second.

21) Insist that Caleb didn't free a wandering spirit or had one take over his body during his fight with Chase...(Even though that's the entire point of my fic, LOL.)

22) And lastly, should any of these offend the writers, blame it on alcohol and start chugging tequila like there's no tomorrow.


If anyone out there is offended, my bad. You people should start drinking.