… … … …
Even years after we left the Digital World they still depended on me to be their Light. They came to me when they had problems, looked to me when the world was harsh and cold, expected me to be some icon of perfection.
How could I say or do anything in contrast?
They put me on a pedestal and never thought twice about whether or not I deserved to be there.
They couldn't see that even the brightest light casts a shadow.
I'm not Taichi—I don't have courage like he does. I couldn't tell them that I wasn't just some doll to be held on display. I couldn't risk upsetting them.
Maybe if I were stronger then today would be different.
But I'm out of strength and I'm out of hope.
Tomorrow won't be different, it never is. And I'm tired of pretending it could be.
I'm done. That's all there is to it. I can't live a life where I can't care about myself.
This has been running through my head for a while. And now the time is right. I'm going to be selfish and not care about what Taichi or the others think for once.
Forgive me…I love you all but I don't love myself. I don't expect you to agree, but please understand.
The blade is less piercing than I expected. The darkness brings a welcome numbness. Maybe now I can finally find peace.
… … … …
I know this is horribly written, but I had to write it. I thought it might make me feel a little better, but I don't think so.