Author's Note: I wrote this because I felt like it. And because fics with this pairing are rare, and even if the few ones on this site aren't good enough to do them justice. Hope you like it.
Characters belong to WB, and none of them to me.
This stinks. Why the hell am I even here? To celebrate the newest success of my famous boyfriend? thought Lola fiercely, bringing the glass to her lips, what boyfriend? He dumped you 'cause you were too' inappropriate'.
She stared down at her blue tube dress that came up to her mid-thigh and had a small slit on the side. Ok, maybe the clothes she wore were a little revealing-
A little revealing? Her mind screamed, Heck, you're known as the Looney Toon version of Jessica Rabbit - except they call you Hooker Rabbit behind your back.
Pathetic. Sitting alone by the bar in a 'café' where only the elite actors of the cartoon world could waltz in so that they could be seen - at least been seen going in here, not what they will order. For what they order is usually something simple such as a cappuccino or maybe even something slightly alcoholic because few would have the guts to spend such horrifying amounts for a simple beverage. The very crème de la crème would give themselves the luxury of coming here once a month - so what was a little insignificant speck of a star like her doing here, drinking a fancy alcoholic cocktail alone by the bar?
She came here because she had the rare opportunity of having her drinks paid by someone else. The actors of the WB Studios were having a celebration of sorts for their latest movie 'Looney Toons: Back in Action' which turned out to be a success. Heck, on the café's podium were the stars of the picture (who were also the generous financiers of the free drinks in this place) along with tonight's welcoming host, Foghorn Leghorn.
That overgrown rooster prattled on and on about how proud they were tonight (especially him, since he got the chance to speak without having something thrown at him - the audience was in a good mood) about the movie's success and how they wish more of such good news for future works (especially because of the free drinks).
'I say, ladies and gentlemen,' Leghorn boasted, finally getting to the highlights of the night's spectacle, 'let's give it for, I say, let's give it for the stars of tonight's celebration: WB's greatest actor - '
Someone coughed loudly and Lola knew who it was without any doubt.
Foghorn became confused but then got the hint and corrected himself, ' WB's greatest actors: Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck!'
Fanatic cheers erupted from the audience as the 'Wascally Wabbit' and 'Little Black Duck' appeared on stage. The drink suddenly became very bitter in Lola's mouth. She stared down at her glass in front of her and mentally isolated herself from the euphoric world around her.
Lola didn't listen to the congratulations, nor to their speeches. Daffy would be spotlight gluttonous, Bugs would quip in with something witty - the audience was laughing in the background, so that must be happening currently - and then they would go on and on until Daffy would give up and say how despicable Bugs was.
'You're desthpicable,' she heard in the background. Was it over so soon?
Lola looked up and saw Bugs cracking some jokes on the podium, the audience responding in the desired manner of laughter. Lola couldn't even bring herself to smile. She used to be just like that audience, capable of laughing gleefully at the bunny's smart-aleck words and actions yet now her mind was coming up with counteractive sarcastic bites that she would've gladly hurled at him had it not been public.
Her eyes felt heavy and swivelled down to her drink.
To hell with you smarmy bastard, Lola thought self-comfortingly and took a confident swig of the drink.
'Whoa there! We don't pay for the drinksth stho that you can order another one. If you want beer, then go to the bar down the sthreet. Your mannersth are suited for that kind of placthe.'
She knew that voice. A trademark lisp, but the voice was too quarrelsome for it to belong to Sylvester. Lola looked up and saw none other than one of the hosts of the party, dressed in a white suit that complimented his dark plumage, Daffy Duck.
He had leisurely taken a seat next to her and rested his arm on the table.
'Nice to see you too, Daffy,' said Lola,, not even bothering to sound sincere.
'Came here to congratulate your boyfriend?' there was something about that question that was provoking.
'Yeah well, if he expects any I'll tell him to shove it.' Answered Lola with a degree of hostility,' We're not dating anymore.'
'Doesthn't look like it from the beverage you're having.' Commented Daffy.
Lola's cocktail was unique blend of carrot juice, vodka and brandy. Known as 'Bugs Bunny Blast' in this place. Thinking about it wanted to make her puke it out.
'Stho….. if you're not here to congratulate him,' said Daffy suggestively,' how about congratulating me, hmm?'
A part of her want to douse him with whatever was left in her glass, while the other part, the stronger one, reminded her that he was one of the reasons for her venturing in here without spending a single cent.
Lola stuck out her hand, 'Congratulations. It was a great movie.'
His expression turning sour, Daffy reluctantly took her hand and shook it. His feathers were in perfect condition and well groomed, for they had a silky feel under her fingers.
'Why did you break up? And, mostht importantly, what glassth is it?'
'We broke up because he saw me….inappropriate. And this is my second glass. Why do you ask?'
'Justht checking what my bill'sth going to turn up by the end of the night,' Daffy said with a grimace,' and it doesthn't look good.'
Just to spite him, Lola ordered another drink.
'Stho that's your revenge?' snapped Daffy, his eyes narrowing, 'No wonder he dumped you.'
Lola took a good sip (from her third helping) in order to calm herself. Don't you dare make a scene now, her mind threatened, the voice of reason becoming weaker with every douse of alcohol into her bloodstream.
'Trying to attract a new fish with your attire?' he inquired innocently, taking in the image of her before him, 'You don't need to try stho hard.'
If he was any other animal in a previous life, he would have been a snake. Heck, some people described him as a snake in a duck's body. His sarcasm was his teeth, while malice was his venom.
She started feeling as if her brain was experiencing a rollercoaster ride. She could never handle alcohol so well. Lola knew that she was passing the sober line because her tongue was becoming harder and harder to control. But she wasn't in a bad mood anymore.
'Are you interested in me?' she asked, a smirk forming on her face. Wow, she was really getting blunt. No subtlety whatsoever.
Daffy stared at her in slight shock. But then his eyes became lidded and a smile that rivalled hers formed on his face, for he decided to play her "game". 'With that dressth you're wearing, it'sth very hard not to be.'
'Pfft,' she gave an un-ladylike snort, 'keep dreaming Duck. Like you're even able to score with girls.'
'Oh well then pray tell how'sth that I got married sixth timesth?' asked Daffy, sounding superior.
'They were only after your money,' she said before she could stop herself, 'and after they got what they wanted, they divorced you. I mean, you're smart when it comes to your acting career, but you're a sucker when it comes to marriage.'
It was true. Daffy was capable of manipulating the audience to sympathise him in all the cartoon sketches, he was crafty enough to maintain his high position even when Bugs entered the show business (though his popularity among the viewers sagged a bit) and was never a pale figure such as the gentle Porky Pig. But his romances were known as heavy failures and the fact that his considered himself as a sex icon was laughable…. At least to her.
Daffy raised an eyebrow, 'They may have gotten the money, but I alstho got what I wanted,' he said, strangely calm.
'Oh yeah?' she was becoming brazen, 'What's that?'
A loud laugh burst out of Lola, which made some turn their heads and shoot accusing glares at her. Lola got a grip on herself and waved a hand towards them to mind their own business.
'Trollop.' She heard someone say, most probably Petunia Pig. Lola didn't get so upset because a) Petunia was of strict morals, b) it wasn't so far from the truth, especially if you judge someone according to the way they dress and c) the alcohol was making her reaction slow (which was an advantage in this situation).
'Seriously,' asked Lola in a lower tone, 'you wanted a kid? Someone on whom you're going to spend your income? Someone you'd actually care about besides yourself?'
It was impossible. That wasn't the Daffy Duck she knew. The real Daffy Duck would demand back every cent his wife would have spent. He would never selflessly give money to bring up some kid, even if it was his own flesh and blood. He barely even contacts his family for crying out loud!
'It'sth not I who wanted a kid.' Said Daffy, growing uncomfortable at the unwanted attention they had just a minute ago, 'it wasth my family.'
'What? Daffy, you don't talk to your family. I don't even know who your parents are.'
'Well I haven't been visiting them in the past few yearsth,' said Daffy, scratching the underside of his bill, 'but they did have a big role in my life in the early daysth.'
'Daff,' she said, using the nickname that Bugs called him by, 'I don't know if the following I'm going to hear is true, but I'm gonna listen.'
Daffy looked around to see if anyone else was listening an then turned his attention to her, 'You know I wasth married sixth timesth, right?'
'Yeah, you said that already.'
'I may be a screwy duck, but I come from a family that'sth…..' he struggled for the word he could use.
'Conservative?' her brain wasn't so off by the alcohol after all.
'Nah, that isthn't the word….'
'Yeah, that one!' he exclaimed, pointing a finger at her as if she won the bingo. Lola smiled and rolled her eyes. Daffy was clever, but not that educated. Well, back in those times most of the toons weren't.
She did hear of ducks having male-dominated families. Although she knew many female ducks, such as Melissa Duck or even Daisy Duck from Disney, who were quite sassy and hot-tempered. Yet in many cartoon shots the mallards were always portrayed as womanizing, egoistical and the females were actually domineered by them.
'Stho they wanted me to get married and have kidsth.'
'But you already had at least two - one from each marriage. Why continue onto a third marriage?'
'They were girlsth.'
'Oh.' Said Lola, suddenly becoming cold towards him.
Daffy noticed her growing hostility, 'Look, I love them, I really do,' he said quickly, 'it'sth just that….. girlsth aren't that valued by the duck community.'
Lola snorted, 'Oh c'mon!' she snapped, her feminist side rising, 'There are so many female ducks that have an attitude! Like Melissa, for example….'
'I married her oncthe and then divorcthed her. Do you think she married again?'
That question splashed Lola like cold water.
'That'sth right,' said Daffy, feeling the shock from his partner, 'it wasth pretty much a miracle that I actually married her. She had the looksth, but her attitude isn'th much to be desthired.'
Lola stared at the podium where Bugs was still performing. 'So did you eventually get your son?' she asked, feeling very distant.
'Oh yeah,' he said, leisurely inspecting his imaginary fingernails, 'with Honey Bunny.'
Lola froze and slowly turned to him. She stared at him in disbelief.
'Gimme a break.' She said harshly.
'You expect me to actually believe you that you had an affair with Bugs Bunny's girlfriend?' she exclaimed, her voice steadily rising, 'You're more desperate to come off as the macho guy than I thought. That's so freakin' pathetic!'
'Not an affair - I married her.'
'Whatever!' she snapped, 'I just can't believe that you go off and start lying to everyone about your adventures with women so that you can attract some attention!'
Everyone was listening to her outburst - she could feel it - only that they had a sense of politeness to not be too concerned with it. After all, who would listen to the ranting of a drunken wannabe Looney-Bunny?
Daffy was strangely calm, and he was also annoyed. 'Are you finisthed?' was all he asked.
Feeling very stupid, Lola settled back into her chair (for she had actually stood up) and said sheepishly, 'I think I'm done.'
'I don't know why I'm wasthting time with some drunken bunny known as Hooker Rabbit back at the sthudio,' Lola flinched at the nickname,' but I found you interesthting- '
'Yeah, a little too "interesting", ' said Lola bitingly, 'Face it Daffy, you just came here to hit on me.'
'Don't flatter yoursthelf,' it was Daffy's turn to bite, 'but yesth, I did think of hitting on you. Esthpecially sthince everyone knows that you and Cottontail broke up.'
Lola felt tears forming in her eyes. 'Yesth Lola, everyone knowsth.' Said Daffy, reading her mind.
Lola dropped her head, trying to hide the fact of how much it stung her like a hot sting of a wasp to her heart. Drinking made her over-emotional, unable to control her feelings and it succeeded in influencing her of making a fool out of herself in public.
'You know…. You're not that much of a hooker asth the othersth depict you to be.'
She didn't know if those were words of comfort or maybe one of his well-meaning insults, but she chose the previous. As soon as she managed to get a grip on herself, she raised her head and faced him calmly. The only sign of her silent crying was her slightly smudged mascara and puffy eyes.
'So….' She said, in a more sober tone of voice, 'how did you and Honey hook up together?'
Daffy watched her with an expression of pity, 'Honey got the sthame treatment from Bugsth as you did just now,' said he, 'Bugsth would alwaysth find an excuse to dump them, even though he had only a few girlfriendsth. Duuno but I think he is bachelor material,' with that he puffed out his chest proudly, ' like me. Hell, marriage don't work for me. Might justht asth well live without it.
'But I did like Honey. In fact, I think she'sth the only bunny I ever had stherious feelings for. And she gave me a son.'
'How did he look?' asked Lola, feeling better all of the sudden.
'A little black duckling, just like me,' he boasted, like most fathers do.
'Really? Just pure duckling? No rabbit ears, whiskers or anything?'
Daffy shrugged, 'Toon biology, what can I sthay?'
'So why a divorce?'
'I told you - I'm bachelor material. In fact, that wasth the longestht marriage I had - stheven years.'
'Wow, I won't even ask how long the others lasted,' smirked Lola, her good mood returning.
She downed the rest of her drink. She grimaced at the burning sensation that rushed down her throat and looked at the time on her wristwatch. She squinted a bit to see the little hands (this new dosage of alcohol would definitely not be in her advantage).
'I guess it's time for me to go home.' She said, getting up.
'Need a lift?'
Lola didn't like what the offer was hinting at. 'Oh no, I'll just be on my way….'
She took a few steps forward and tripped, grabbing a nearby chair to stop her fall.
'Drunken tramp.' She heard Petunia's voice again. How the heck could Porky keep up with such a nag?
'That'sth it, I'm taking you home. Don't want the othersth to think that I poisoned your drink or sthomething.'
It was known that Daffy and Lola had their tensions, so that suggestion was not that absurd. He grabbed her under the arm, and slowly lead her out towards the exit. Lola glimpsed over her shoulder behind to see what Bugs was doing. He was chatting with some swooning female cats, whom Sylvester had introduced to be his 'nieces'. Bugs didn't even notice her.
'Jerk.' She muttered before stepping out into the street.
The fresh air outside splashed her face and the slight wind gave her a chill. The hairs on her body rose, harmonising with her tense body and goose bumped skin.
'Cold?' asked Daffy, apparently feeling her discomfort. She nodded.
'That'sth what too many drinksth does to you - makes you sthlow to adaptation. To tell you the truth, I could never handle alcohol well stho don't belive the rumours that I can drink ten people down.'
Lola smiled. That was the Daffy she knew - the crazy duck wrapped up in his egoistical little world.
;Stho where's your car?' he waited for an answer.
'It got pulled by a tow-truck earlier today. I got here by taxi.'
Daffy raised his eyebrows in amusement, ' You're actually of worsthe luck than I am. Are we related?'
Lola actually laughed. Not a rude one, like back there, but a real one that is tickled by a joke.
She just realised that she was standing in front of a red Porsche. And surprise, surprise - he held the door open for her to come in.
'Justht to show you I have mannersth.' Said Daffy, huffing out importantly.
'You're full of surprises.'
'Sthurpristhe is my middle name.'
'I thought it was Dumas.'
Only minutes later they were speeding towards her house. She told him the address and now the only thing she had to do was to stare out of the window as she enjoyed the comfort and the zooming sensation of the car. The warmth returned back to her flesh and she felt like falling asleep. Lola looked down at her hands that rested upon her lap that was partly covered by her lavender blue dress. She felt her eyes close…..
That soon? She looked out and saw that it was her little house. If she had been more sober she would have worried about Daffy's driving skills, but that had not crossed her mind during the ride that was so seemingly short.
It wasn't large house at all. One floor (a bungalow, as some people call it) with a garage that had space for one car and a basketball hoop was attached to its outer wall. A small garden with neatly cut grass but no flowers - they didn't suit her taste. An equally small pebbly path lead straight to the home's main entrance, which had no porch.
'I bought it with the money I earned from "Space Jam",' said Lola proudly.
'What did you do with the restht of the money?'
Lola stared at him incredulously, 'Whaddya mean "with the rest"? I spend my whole earning on this baby.'
Daffy made a face, 'I forgot how people'sth income could be stho small.' He said uneasily.
'This is little for you?'
'Let's justht sthay that with the money I earned from that movie I could've bought mysthelf a holiday housthe thisth size,' he said, pointing to her house, 'and this kind of car. Which I actually did - the car I mean, not the housthe.'
Lola waved a hand at him, 'You're famous. You don't have to put up with the effort of rookies.'
'I wasth a rookie too you know. Except back then I wasth consthidered to be a pioneer, and that'sth more flattering,' he said bashfully.
Lola moved her hand to pull at the handle, when Daffy stopped her, saying, 'I'll get it.'
'Aw, is it because you want to display some more chivalry?'
'No,' said Daffy simply, already outside and opening the door for her, 'it'sth because of physical strength and mental sthate you're in I think you're going to tear it off.'
'Ha, ha very funny,' said Lola sarcastically, getting out, ' I'm a basketball player, not a bodybuilder.'
Ever since she had defeated him at arm wrestling competition back when they were filming "Space Jam" Daffy kept a small grudge against her physical strength that he happened to lack. He had at the time affectionately called her "Lola Tyson" but she didn't mind that now.
They stopped at the door.
'I think that I'm able to handle this myself,' said she, getting out keys from her handbag. She squinted and aimed the key at the lock. She missed several times, and when she finally hit the bull's eye she realised that it was the wrong key.
'Wrong again,' said Daffy, taking the keys from her and finding the proper house key (she tried entering with her car key), 'honsthly, can't you take care of yoursthelf?'
With a click, the door was unlocked. Lola opened it and looked back at Daffy, who seemed to be expectantly waiting for something.
Lola put her hands on her hips and said matter-of-factly, 'You want me to invite you in, don't you?'
Daffy pretended not to know what was going on, 'If you insthistht….'
Lola couldn't help but laugh good-naturedly,' It's the least I can do anyway.'
She turned went in and on the lights with him following close behind her. They were directly accessed to a living room that was quite clean but did have an occasional stray slipper on the floor or a blouse thrown carelessly over an armchair. They went to the kitchen which was in a similar state: plates washed but not put away, cups on the dish dryer and an open rubbish bin that was open but empty. Apparently, Lola Bunny was a clean, yet messy person, careless about small touches in keeping a living area neat.
'Coffee?' she offered.
He nodded, and she put the water on to be heated on the stove - the old-fashioned way. Daffy sat down in a chair that matched the kitchen table with its chequered patterns. Lola sat down in a similar chair next to him.
'So….' She began, not knowing what to say. She felt lost for words.
Daffy tried to start a topic,' You got any family relativesth?'
'Well, I've got my mum…. And dad…… and 14 siblings.'
Daffy snorted, 'Stho what elsthe is new with rabbitsth?'
'I'm the thirteenth.'
'How about you?'
'Ducksth have much smaller familiesth. I've got two sthisthers. Both older than I am.'
'Wow, you ducks seriously try to have male children.' Said Lola, unable to imagine how it would be like to live in such a small family, 'how many kids have you got.'
'Five. Three girlsth and two boysth.'
'Who's the second boy from?'
Somehow Lola never expected Melissa to have children. She came off as independent and she never seemed like parental material. Neither did Daffy.
'How did you meet Honey?' asked Lola, not knowing how that question popped up in her mind.
Daffy shifted uncomfortably, thinking it over. He finally answered, 'I knew her from though Bugsth - he really liked her and she alstho grew on me. After shome time I began enjoying her company and when I wasth able to have a good talk with her wasth when Bugsth dumped her - kinda like the sthituation with you.'
Lola's stomach lurched. 'So…. Did you approach me because you felt sorry for me or was it because you thought that you could get it on with me tonight?'
Lola's eyes dropped in disappointment, 'People have that kind of opinion of me. I enjoy dressing up like this,' she motioned towards her attire, 'but people think that someone must be easygoing if they wear this kind of clothes.'
'Umm…..You look sthexy in gym shortsth?' offered Daffy weakly.
Shaking her head, Lola got up and took the kettle off the stove and poured them into cups. She added a couple of teaspoonfuls of coffee and some sugar.
'What? No milk?' asked Daffy.
She sighed and went over to the fridge to get out the milk. Just as soon as she opened the door she closed it, 'No milk.' She stated, and brought the cup to him.
'So I guess a latte isth out of question.' Said Daffy, shrugging that idea out of his head. He took a sip and said,' you may be hot, but you sthure can't make coffee. It'sth too bitter.'
'I make what I can,' Said Lola, settling back into the chair, 'take it or leave it.'
'Isth that how you behave to your boyfriendsth?'
Lola gambled with a joke on her account, 'Maybe that's why they break up with me.'
'Don't be so hard on yoursthelf. Bugsth isth the type of bunny that doesthn't want commitment. I'm sthick of commitment too,' added Daffy as an afterthought.
Lola glanced at the clock up on the wall. Her eyesight was still a little blurry, so she asked him to tell the time. It was 11:30.
'Sthould get back there.' Said Daffy, getting up and stretching himself, 'the gueststh will be wondering where the host of the party hasth gone with a drunken female bunny for the pastht hour.'
'Yeah, yeah, just don't show off too much. I've got a bad enough reputation already.'
They were at her door.
'Thank you for escorting me here,' said Lola, doing a mock curtsey as she opened the door for him.
'It was a pleasthure seeing milady's humble abode,' answered Daffy in a similar way, mimicking a Shakespearean accent.
He set one foot outside, and the swiftly turned around, 'Oh, one more thing.'
Then, with all courage he could muster, he grabbed Lola by the shoulders and kissed her. This action stunned the tan bunny and she was too stunned to move. In fact, it wasn't so bad…..
But the shred of morality that resided within Lola rebelled and so she broke away violently.
'What the hell was that about?' she snapped, her feminine pride wounded.
'To tell you the truth, I alwaysth wondered what it would be like kissthing you,' he said breathlessly, 'since a goodnight kissth would have been out of questhtion, I took it mysthelf. Hope you don't mind.'
Lola's chest huffed out, ready to make her explode with the most horrendous insults she could think of saying to him. The entire night flashed through her mind at that moment, and she suddenly realised that she did not have the energy to say any. In fact, thing she did was a gamble with her reputation. What reputation? She didn't have any. And the state she was in, she didn't feel like preserving the left-over pieces of her reputation at all. She went with the flow, as usual, not caring what others think. She was a Looney, wasn't she?
'If you're going to kiss someone, at least do it properly,' she said, before forcefully placing her lips on his beak, surprising the black duck in is spotlessly white suit completely.
She felt his arms wind themselves slyly around her and hold her close. She let him take control and do the art of love that he so often had bragged about. Surprisingly, he did have a sense of skill as she could find nothing to complain about. She ran her hands through the feathers on his head and ran through them smoothly through the material that was used for stuffing pillows.
Finally pulling her lips away, Lola looked up at him and smiled, saying, 'You're more experienced than I expected.'
'I aim to pleasthe. Stho far not many have complained,' he said proudly.
His hand was on her cheek. Soft and warm, unmarred from lack of physical labour, which she couldn't really say about hers. Thankfully she used pomade to cover up any damage on her fingers from playing basketball.
'Shouldn't you be getting back?' she asked, her voice no more than a whisper.
'I wasth planning to sthtay a little longer but if you insthistht….' That trick won't work twice.
'No, no, I think you have your faithful audience waiting for you,' she said, the corners of her lips still stubbornly upward, 'along with the paparazzi. Unless they tracked us here.'
'Asth milady wishes,' he said, using overdone drama.
With that, he left into the night. She waited until he was gone, and went back into the house.
Lola's heart thumped rapidly in her chest, just like a bunny's should. Her feet were so light…. She felt like doing a pirouette and dancing……
But wait! She didn't even have his number, and neither did he have hers. All the feelings of dancing crashed down and drowned in a sea of embarrassment. Of course, she thought with overwhelming shame, he never would have been interested in me. He expected a one-night stand and instead got a chat with an emo bunny. He grabbed what he could in the last moment.
She dragged herself to the kitchen, and slumped into the chair where he just sat. She put her head into her hands, not ever wanting to lift it up. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
But she did raise her head after all, and she didn't regret it. There, laying like an orphan on the kitchen table was a small business card. Strange, it never was there before. Her hand sneaked out and took it. Emblazed on it in golden letters were the words:
Daffy D. Duck
Actor, Scriptwriter and Producer
Warner Bros. Studios
And in the corner of the card was a telephone number and address.
The joy that faded hopelessly in Lola flickered with life and the desire to dance and hop around resurfaced itself from the depths of a sea.
The Wascally Wabbit disappointed me, the thoughts raced triumphantly; maybe the Little Black Duck won't be so bad. Not bad at all.
Author's Note: Aaand cut! I think that wraps it up. Whaddya guys think?