Title: The Nanao effect

Rating: Comedy

Pairing / Characters: Ise Nanao

Word Count: 375 words

Warnings: Nothing (O)

Summary: Wherever she goes, Nanao has an effect on someone

A/N: Hee, hee, hee.

Ise Nanao is dangerous.

It isn't just the way she can kill a man merely by looking at him, and it certainly isn't about the way she slaps around her captain.

No, the most dangerous thing about the eighth division lieutenant is the effect she has on the men around her.

It's the way Kyouraku Shunsui writes her cheesy love poems, recites them to her at three o clock in the morning and expects to get away with it.

It's the way that Hisagi Shuuhei asks her out for a drink, weekend after weekend in the (fragile) hopes that she'll say yes.

It's the way that Kotsubaki Sentarou forgets all about his arguments over who should do what for Ukitake-taichou whenever she walks past.

It's the way that Kira Izuru turns a lovely shade of puce whenever she actually talks to him.

It's the way Yumichika and Ikkaku glare at her whenever she's in their presence.

(it's the way Zaraki always threatens Yumichika and Ikkaku with Imminent Death whenever they do that)

It's the way that Matsumoto, and Soi Fon and Hinamori and Unohana and Kiyone all stare daggers at Nanao even though she hasn't really done anything.

There's just something about Ise Nanao that few men can resist.

Shunsui muses that it has something to do with how cute she is when she gets angry. Hisagi immediately contradicts him and tells him that it has nothing to do with that at all, but the fact that she never seems to lose control. Sentarou agrees at once, and says that he'd love to see her really lose her temper.

Shunsui shakes his head and reaches for the sake, telling them that that's the last thing they want to see, EVER.

Somehow, they tend to believe him, it's not often one sees a captain lose his composure.

Ukitake-taichou has gone so far as to call it the Nanao effect, the mysterious result occurring after men have been in her presence. Side effects, he has informed them all gravely, include breathlessness, drooling, speechlessness, and nausea.

Whenever Nanao hears this, she just smiles enigmatically, causing droves of unfortunate men to faint, and droves of women to plot her murder.

It's just another day in Soul Society, after all.