She found it funny that in end she lost her virginity to her first boyfriend.
The irony was not lost on her that she had been told 'I love you' twice at a Firelight Festival, but wasn't able to say it back either time.
She told Logan she loved him before he told her. She didn't want to get caught off guard again.
She often wonders why she said 'no' when she wanted to say 'yes.'
The first time she was told 'I love you' she didn't reply because she didn't know how she felt.
The hidden look of disappointment on his face when he saw what her life had come to made her want to change more than anything else.
She hasn't participated in a Stars Hollow Basket Auction in over five years.
The second time she was told 'I love you' she didn't reply because she never had the chance (he had run away too fast).
Farewell to Arms became a close second on her favorites list when she was seventeen years old.
She hasn't walked over their bridge since she went away in college.
Although she would never say it out loud, one of the reasons she hoped her mom and Luke would work it out was because she was sure Jess would come to the wedding.
Farewell to Arms used to be on her hated list. (Despite everything, The Old Man and the Sea still was)
Whenever someone says, "It is what it is," she is overwhelmed with an unexplainable sadness. She pretends she doesn't know why.
She doesn't read books for pleasure anymore…
She also pretends she doesn't know why she's interested in getting a newspaper job in Philly.
…Maybe it's because every time she finishes a good book she asks in her mind, "I wonder if Jess has read this one?"
Her new number one spot is filled by The Subsect.
She found it funny…
Half of her wants to show up at Trucheon Books and ask for his autograph.
He was one of the three people she believed never once doubted that she could all of her crazy dreams. (the other two were her mom and Luke)
…that despite everyone's warnings…
He taught her the best way to eat fries.
She was one of the two people that Jess actually believed when she said he could be something more.
…that he was the type of guy who was only after one thing…
Other than her mom, he was the only one who knew how to fix her coffee on exam day, that she despised roses and loved sunflowers, and that strawberries were best served on chocolate ice cream.
… that he was the only one of her boyfriends she hadn't slept with…
No one noticed that she had cut her hair short exactly six months to the day after Jess had disappeared.
The smell of cigarette smoke used to make her sick to her stomach. Key words, used to.
…or got to tell him she loved him…
The irony wasn't lost on her that when she finally realized that he was the guy for her, it was probably the first time since they met the he didn't want to be with her.
Key word, probably.
Part of her (the same part that wanted to get his autograph) wanted to find out if that were true. Another part, the part that controlled her, was glad that she didn't.
Aki- I don't know what this is, it just is. It came to me and I wrote it, that's all I know. If you like this I'm thinking of adding a second chapter or companion piece in a similar style but from Jess's pov.