Title: Hospital walls and Happiness

Author: MISSMURDER83 or me, the almighty Cat.

Summary: Zack wakes up in the hospital after a suicide attempt and is greeted by Freddy. Forgive my crappy summary skills.

WARNINGS: ZACK/FREDDY SLASH. No like-y the slash no read-y this fic, M'kay? Rated for slash and dark ideas or suicide for saying it straight out. Please excuse any missed typos.

Note: In this Zack and Freddy were together when they had the fight. Meant to be a bitter-sweet little fic. I know there is no prologue, but there is an epilogue because I thought it would be interesting. Hope I didn't totally overdo the ending, but I thought it was kind of cute.

Zack opened his eyes and blinked as he was greeted by the stark white color of hospital walls.

Every memory flooded back then, how everything in his life had come tumbling down around him, crushing him until he was completely blinded by the pain. The Band breaking up, his parents divorce, his grades slipping as he was hit again and again by other people's worries and fears, never having any time to scream and figure out his own life. His fight with Freddy. How Freddy had vowed to never speak to him again.

Going home and counting out ninety-three little white pills so carefully and shoving them down his throat one at a time knowing he would never wake up again, just falling asleep and never waking up or having to deal with anything anymore.

Zack groaned as he thought about it. It hadn't worked. He was alive.

Everything around him had come crashing down around him and he couldn't find a way out. If not death, then what was left?

Zack closed his eyes trying very hard not to scream. Something shifted in his hand and he glanced down from the ceiling He refrained from jumping as he was greeted by a sleeping Freddy Jones, his spiky hair the only aspect of him visible from his position.

One of his hands lay near Zack's feet clenching at the blankets in his strong grip. The other lay unmoving in Zack's own hand. His head was resting on his leg, Zack realized, his face hidden form view.

Freddy suddenly shot up, breathing heavily and clenching Zack's hand to the point of pain, which Zack welcomed openly. Freddy glanced at Zack and did a quick double take his eyes meeting Zack's brown ones.

"Zack?" he asked softly. Zack scowled remembering their argument, and blinked back the tears building up behind his eyes.

"I thought you were never speaking to me again." He said sullenly, jerking his eyes away from the deep blue that greeted him with such worry. Freddy winced

"The only reason you're alive right now is because I felt fucking terrible for saying that so I went to your house to apologize and I found you lying there on your bed. You weren't moving. I called 911." Freddy paused and looked down tears rolling down his face. "I-I thought you were…"He chocked, not able to say it. Even just imaging that image was too horrible for words. "When the doctors told us I knew it was my fault and I couldn't leave your side, I've been here forty eight hours waiting for you to wake up. They gave me hell about it but I wouldn't leave. I'm so sorry I- I can't believe, I mean I was so terrible to you and you…you almost died Zack!" He ended almost hysterically thinking about it.

Zack sat stunned. Their relationship before had been admittedly shaky, but he thought they could get through anything if they were together. They had gotten through telling everyone about them and through all the laughter from the jocks, but their fight had torn them apart.

He'd thought he'd lost the one person in the world that was always there for him, no matter what happened.

"I could probably get any guy I wanted." He screamed angrily. "You're lucky I ever looked twice at a fag like you!" God that had done it.

"Fuck you!" Freddy screamed in reply. "You'll be fucking lucky if I ever look at you again, much less speak to you, you bastard. We're over."

Freddy had stormed out and right after the weight of everything finally hit him. Zack shook the memories and thoughts away. It wasn't exactly the best thing for a suicidal sixteen year old to be thinking about.

Freddy was watching him now, his blue eyes filled with worry and sadness.

And love.

"I should be the one apologizing," he said, "I just-Everything just happened all at once and then I lost you and I thought anything was better than having to deal with it all…. I thought I'd lost you…" He cringed remember feeling so utterly alone and abandoned. "I should be the one asking for forgiveness."

"Are you fucking kidding me, Zack?" he asked looking into Zack's big, brown eyes. "I forgave you the second I saw you just laying there. It killed me. "Please, never scare me like that again." Zack smiled and squeezed Freddy's hand reassuringly.

"I won't. Not as long as I have you." Freddy's only response was to smile. His smile lit up the room, and suddenly the walls didn't seem so cruel.

Zack shifted in his bed and Freddy seemed to get the idea, climbing in next to him. He quickly kissed Zack softly on the lips, trying to prove how much the sweet guitarist mean to him with that one kiss. Freddy pulled the brunette close, and Zack rested his head on his chest.

He loved being close to Freddy. He loved his reassuring warmth, his smell, the sound of his heart beat, how he wrapped his arms around his waist almost possessively. It was just so amazingly great that such a small gesture like that made Zack's head spin.

"Don't ever let me lose this." He murmured quietly as he drifted into the first peaceful sleep in almost a month. He suddenly felt gentle hands running through his hair.

"And you won't ever have to. I'll love you forever. Never forget that," Freddy whispered as he ran his hands through Zack's soft hair.

It was strange, Zack thought, that he was lying in a hospital bed, surrounded by hospital walls, with Freddy Jones, recovering from a suicide attempt…and he was the happiest he'd ever been.


Zack was sent to Therapy for two years after leaving the hospital and has been deemed stable enough for independent life. He claims without Freddy he never would have made it through.

His parents did get that divorce, but it was clean and they remained friends. They just didn't love each other like they thought they did. Zack visits them regularly, trying to keep his family really together.

The School of Rock members stayed very close friends, and eventually deeply regretted breaking up. They got back together a year after and won exactly nineteen contests, including Battle of the Bands, on their comeback tour.

Freddy and Zack have been dating all this while, over four years. They share a small apartment in their hometown and Freddy plans on proposing to Zack. Tonight.