Title: "Spiritus Mundi"
Author: Shaitanah
Rating: R
Timeline: post-war, Harry is 19
Summary: Harry, an Auror in training, receives an assignment to interrogate Voldemort who is a prisoner in his own dream world. + "There isn't a second in my life when I'm not thinking about Voldemort. He's constantly with me. Maybe we could visit all those places for real…" Please R&R!
Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J. K. Rowling. The name for the chapter comes from Bonnie Tyler's song 'Total Eclipse of the Heart'.
Special Thanks: to Mizstorge for beta-reading.
A/N: Guys! We've come to an end! Thank you to all my readers and reviewers! You have no idea how much your reviews mean to me. The final book of HP series will be released soon. I hope it doesn't disappoint us all. Personally I'd love it if it was anything like SM, but… well, a girl can dream, right? ;))
Epilogue
Total Eclipse of the Heart
I blink my eyes.
"In his sleep," Kingsley elaborates. "He never regained consciousness."
I blink again. This supposed too-good-to-be-true news doesn't affect me – and that bothers me. I'm supposed to feel something, anything, aren't I?
"Are you–?" I begin, and my voice fails me. I clear my throat and try again: "Are you sure? That he is dead, I mean?"
"Positive. He was found in his cell in Azkaban. The Healers examined him; I can assure you, Harry he is–."
Oh.
I nod faintly, start to my feet and leave the building as soon as I can. Soft wind is blowing in my face. It sobers me a little. Very slowly I begin to understand. It has been a worked-out plan all along, a master plan! It flares before me like a huge diamond, and I can see all the edges of it very clearly.
He falls asleep – not only to escape the dreadful reality of Azkaban but to gain more time, to get me. He knows that of all people I will be assigned to interrogate him. I remember my first meeting with my superiors. Kingsley's voice somewhere in the background: "Harry Potter, meet Stephen Nichols. He's on Lord Voldemort's case."
I forget everything, staring into the man's icy eyes. He is all business. The way he looks at me reminds me of Snape. And I don't want to be reminded of Snape.
"We've been trying to wake him up for six months," Nichols informs very matter-of-factly. "We've tried everything, including very advanced and dangerous magic. So far to no avail. But in the meantime we've come up with a curious project. Our tests indicate that You-Know-Who's brain functions very actively, as if he's wide awake. That can only mean that he has found a way to expend his energy. We suspect he has constructed a special dream world. He can't escape, it's as much a cage as his cell in prison. We worked out a spell to enter his dreams. All we need is a volunteer. Shacklebolt recommends you."
And so I'm in. Voldemort doesn't answer my questions, but slowly his attitude changes from grudging to friendly – taking time again. He distracts me, weakens my concentration. All his remarks about Ginny and the nightclub girls hit me right in the heart.
Seduction comes next. His little game begins; here I am, caught in the net. I try to break loose, but it's impossible. We're dealing with a professional here.
Honey… yard of stone… a tree… The story with the Horcrux and my latest visions is unclear. Was there a Horcrux at all? Or was it false alarm?
No-no-no, it's just another piece of the puzzle. I'll make it fit.
Then there comes possession. My blackouts. He takes me over, and I can't read his mind like he reads mine. I don't know what he's been doing in my body. And I don't want to know. He knows me, he understands me, he uses me. I want to give up control, I want to be led, and he knows – fuck him! – he knows how bad I want it.
"Which side are you on?" he asked me. "The one that makes you feel bad and worthless…"
He killed Ginny. Why did he have to do it? She was no threat to him.
"Or the one that makes you feel so bad and worthless…"
Unless…
"…that it actually makes you feel good?"
I freeze in the middle of the square. A spotted butterfly flies by. It makes a circle and returns to me, and then another one joins it, a frail yellow one with a pair of red dots on its lemon wings.
He brought me to the shack because he needed a stressful situation to initiate the first black-out. He had something stored in that building. The vial with unicorn blood. He took it, banished the witch and hid it in the orphanage. And then another black-out. He needed a body to perform the ritual.
The vial wasn't a Horcrux.
Ginny was.
Life is back to normal. It's the end of summer. The grass is a few shades dimmer, the flowers are a bit darker and weaker, and the air already smells of autumn.
There isn't a second in my life when I'm not thinking about Voldemort. He's constantly with me. Maybe we could visit all those places for real: Indonesia, Kazakhstan, America…
One of his reprimands to me suddenly makes sense: "You are alive. What more do you need?"
There comes a day when I take a walk through the city and come back to that square again. And I see butterflies. I frown. Hardly the season for them now. I stare at the mesmerizing swarm and I feel someone's lips at the back of my head, and a voice behind me utters quietly:
"Don't turn around."
He covers my neck in gentle kisses, sucks at my earlobe playfully. Why the hell did he come back!? I didn't tell anyone that in my opinion Voldemort was still alive.
Is it revenge? Or is it?..
"Tom," I smile. "You just had to do it, didn't you?"
The End