The first time Demyx had said he loved Axel, Axel had ignored it.
When the insistence came… Axel let it happen, let their mouths meet much gentler and kissed much longer, licking slowly at the man's tongue while his boyish body was taken.
A few more times,
"I love you."
"I love you too," he would quietly say.
And then Demyx went away beckoning, "I love you, come with me."
Little ties and tired minds sang, "No."
Marluxia held his hand, soft and sweet.
Slowly petting his back, between his bird-bone shoulder blades where the wings would never be.
Demyx would call in the dead of the night then, while Axel was fucked dry and vomiting and crawling across the floor to take tiny-tiny-never-enough-hits of coke from the center of Marluxia's palms.
"I love you." Little voice messages would say.
Axel stopped playing them after Marluxia heard and laughed at him and little-Axel-boy found new toys to keep his heart away.
Cigarettes tasted about the same as Demyx anyway. So he huffed and he puffed and he forgot all about sandy blond hair and pretty blue eyes and the guiltyblame cause for all his pain.
And secretly, quietly, every single night, Axel called to leave Demyx the same weeping message over and over again.
"I cups and sugar to the moon am under the socks and rugs."
I love you.
Until he saw the pretty boy he'd never much liked in school… but he smelled a little like marijuana and his vicious face really turned him on.
Axel asked for a cigarette, 'cause they tasted kind of like Demyx and Demyx was the only love he knew. Momma's screams didn't count no more.
Pretty Littler-boy said "no"-to-stay and his Mommy's car was warm and smelt of cleaning chemical heaven.
So, Axel forgot, until Demyx came back with his sweet cloying smells and soft cajoling voice, still saying,
"I love you." And raping Axel's sensibilities over the back of his couch.
"I love you too," Axel said, until it made him sick and Demyx had always known it wasn't true, just like Axel had always known and they came growling at each other.
'til Axel just vomited it out, at last, finally, 'cause he was aching for the fresh supply Marluxia had been holding away from him.
He… he said, "I don't want to love you if love is this alone."
And that's all it was for them.
Demyx couldn't offer any more.
While Pretty Littler-boy got closer and closer, cuddled to his side in the night, kissing his mouth one day and kissing his forehead as he sweat and cursed and died in the only failed attempt to let it all go.
Axel loved him too, better than he'd ever lied to Demyx.
Pretty Littler-boy's eyes were so pretty bright as Axel forced the vile of coke into his nose and watched the startled inhale.
Pupils bloomed and burst like shattered glass and they fucked for hours then, little naïve lover toyboy crying out once in a short and smothered while, breaking the quiet of the happy home.
"I love you," Demyx said helplessly, as he helped to clean up Pretty Littler-boy's bloody body later. Axel wasn't sure if he was dead yet or not, but he knew he'd love the little blond either way.
So, Axel smiled at Demyx 'cause he was a little grateful he'd come to help, but mostly he just said,
"This is your fault."