Title: Breakfast and Bananas

Pair: Zexion/Demyx
Genre: Humor/Crack

Prompt: Bananas

Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts is the property of Square Enix and Disney.


"Nine, how much more time do you need to spend mouthing that banana?"

"But it's so hard to eat" Demyx took the offending fruit out of his mouth to speak.

"It's a fruit with edible seeds, no hard exterior shell and very little other protection. A monkey could eat it, Nine." Six's voice was deadpan as he neatly ate his second piece of toast.

"In fact, the average monkey eats three bananas in the amount of time you're taking with yours."

Demyx pouted. Quite a feat, considering he had pushed the banana back into his mouth. "Hey, don't be mean, I've got-"

" 'A heart too, you know.'" The violet-haired boy echoed along with him.

"Hey, you memorized it!" The Melodious Nocturne dropped the banana back onto his plate and took both of Zexion's hands in his, shaking them both.

"It only took 69 times." Despite himself, the Cloaked Schemer found himself turning away from the other's guileless eyes. There was something about Demyx that seemed entirely unaware of the evils of the world. Or much anything else besides water and music for that matter. And despite rationality, it made him uneasy. Like he was going to be stripped bare before it. He shook his head slightly to clear such thoughts.

The water-wielder, oblivious to the mental proceedings, continued on unabashedly. "I'm proud of you, Zexxy!"

Roxas came into the room, bleary-eyed. It was unusual for him to be up this early. In fact, that their youngest member was up at this hour at all spoke of some miracle.

"Hey, Rox! You're up early!" Wincing, Zexion wondered if Demyx knew he'd just shouted in his ear.

The blonde teen blinked at them, grunted, and walked off to presumably find a glass of water.

"Anyway, I always knew you were redeemable, Zex!" the other continued brightly, "You don't go around looking for fights like the others do. I think we could be really good friends."

"Friends," the Schemer repeated dryly. As though there were really such things in this castle.

"Yup! Come on, our first act of friendship shall be learning how to eat a banana."

"It's a banana. It doesn't need a user manual!"

"That's what you think, but wait until you realize just how tricky bananas can be," Demyx responded airily. "For example, at this part, you have to do this…."

Zexion sat transfixed (or rather, his wrist taken forcibly in the other's hand) as Demyx continued to orally molest the yellow fruit. The other than began to reel off and demonstrate 'the several finer points of banana-eating'. He had to admit that the blonde was talented. And he could think of certain ways those talents could be used. If he didn't kill him first in sheer exasperation.

When Roxas passed by again, his thirst quenched, he spared a groggy glance at where Zexion and Demyx were on the floor before continuing on his way out without so much as a raised eyebrow.

He almost ran into the very solid figure of Lexaeus.

"What's going on in there, Roxas?" the large man asked, eyeing the door warily. The sounds of utensils crashing to the floor and muffled shouts and moans were rather loud, especially for early morning at the Castle.

Roxas yawned at his senior before replying, "Zexion and Demyx are in the breakfast room playing with their bananas."

'Playing with their bananas'…? What did that…? The implications suddenly clicked in his mind with a thud.

After that little insight, Lexaeus wasn't particularly hungry anymore.


A/N: Even though I am an akudemy shipper first, I like Zemyx Crack, more or less? Originally done for a request by nurikokoishii…There is nothing quite like writing "it's a banana, it doesn't need a user manual." XD.