American Vacation

A story by Martin J. Knuth

-Chapter 1-


Steve looked up to see a very fat, and disturbingly ugly looking man staring at him and invading his personal space bubble by nearly pressing his zit-covered nose against his own. He looked grossed out, but tried to keep a straight face as he stared back at him.

"Yes Mr. Dildolini?"

"Stiffler, I'll say it once I'll say it again. The name is Dilidonali! Now, since I have your attention, I want you to get finished with that report on the O'doyle's case by 8 o'clock or else you're fired!"

Steve pulled back a little as one of Dilidonali's nose pimples popped and began to ooze. He squinted and tried to look away as the man inched closer to his face and the pimple pressed against his cheek. "Oh god..." Steven whispered under his breath and almost gagged, but stopped himself as the man backed off and walked away.

Stiffler quickly wiped off the ooze on his cheek and then lost his lunch in a trash can under his desk. After that, he looked up to his page and began typing his report. A few hours later after typing and researching on the web he finally finished. He then saved and pulled up a screen to send it to his boss when a sex ad for hot women and enhancement drugs came up on the screen.

He quickly clicked on it, and the picture went away. He then saw that a file was allready added to his message, so he thought he must have allready clipped it to the email. So he then clicked send and then ran over to the presontation room. It was 7:58, and he had no time to spare. He walked through the door and everyone was already sitting down and ready for the presontation.

"Stiffler, do you have it?" Mr. Dilidonali asked seeing Steve run through the door.

"Just sent it to you sir." He said and Dilidonali then looked on a labtop next to a projector to see that he had received the e-mail. He clicked it twice and Steve smiled. "It should be just what you asked for... sir." He said, making sure not to call him Dildolini. Dilidonali then turned on the projector and opened the email to see a dozen sex ads pop up on his screen.

Everyone in the board room looked on in disgust as the looked at the women in the ads. Steve then realized the irony in what he said and began to try and contain a very hard laugh. But he was failing miserably. As everyone else realized the irony as well and began to laugh loudly. Dilidonali gave Steve a stare and then yelled out. "STIFFLER!!!"

Steve walked out of the revolving doors to the building with a large box of supplies in his arms, and a look of failure on his face. This was the third job he'd been fired from in a year. "I should have stuck with film making. But no, it was too degrading. I had to take a profesionalist's job and take a serious career path. Damn this sucks."

He got in his car and then drove home to his apartment. It was a three room apartment with a kitchen, a part living room part bedroom and a bathroom. He dropped his stuff down on the kitchen counter and began to make himself a sandwich when a picture caught his eye. It was a picture of the American Pie Group, Steve, Jim, Kevin, Finch and Oz, all sitting infront of the Summer Beach house from Amreican Pie 2.

Steve then began to nod his head as a brilliant idea came into his head. He quickly picked up his phone and called up Jim. Jim picked up the phone, wearing a business suit as he too had just came from his job. "Hey Jim." He asked, Jim replied.

"Yeah, Stiffler, is that you?"

"Yeah. Hey Jim, it's high time. Call everyone up, we're going on vacation!" Steve said, not yelling it out, but expressing it with much enthusiasm.

-End Chapter 1-