How can you cheat in a class with only you when Eragon and Murtagh are your teachers? Well…that's easy…Guys I wouldn't suggest reading this, but it IS FUNNY!
A/N: every so often I might put a small story to go with one of the listed ideas. But then again I might put a little story with all of them. It doesn't make much of a difference to me.
Okay how do you cheat when its only you with Eragon and Murtagh as your teachers? It would have been easy IF they where normal people but NO they had to be Dragon Riders, and so for any of you future students of Eragon and Murtagh I have designed a list of things you can us.
WARNING!!!! Most of these can only work if you're a GIRL!
And don't worry I've tested all of them. But I wouldn't suggest doing them to many times there is a chance they might catch on.
Go to class naked, Eragon had just assigned me an impossible quiz that included lifting Saphira, he did give me an entire week to prepare but I forgot.
So I went into class butt naked, Eragon had stared at my with his mouth open forming a huge O.
"Hello Eragon" I said giving him a little wave before sitting down on the grass and trying to life Saphira, long story short, I aced my quiz.
Strip down to a bikini, Murtagh was being particularly evil that day assigning me about five projects that had to be done the very next day. I knew that it was going to be hopeless to pass the test (also due the next day) so I had to do something FAST!
I knew me walking into Murtagh's class naked wouldn't work, since he probably wouldn't notice, he'd probably only look up see my head then look back down at his desk, nodding towards the exact same chair I had to sit in every single day.
So when I had to go into his class the next day I was fully clothed looking solemn.
"Wow its hot in here" I said touching my head, I then stood up to Murtagh's distress and pulled off my shirt and tugging my pants off, only my bikini was left on.
Murtagh passed everything even my invisible panting of Thorn, It was totally AWESOME!
Dragon ate my homework, Eragon is a very forgiving teacher and I knew it, so when he had me to write fifty pages of history in the Ancient Language I decided to take action.
Tori (my dragon) flew in looking quite hungry, so I mixed a bunch of paper into her food and then CHOMP, CHOMP!
When I walked out to Eragon's class I apologetically explained to him that Tori ate my homework, of course she despised me for feeding her paper because it really messed up her digestive system.
Blood, I was really mad at Murtagh for making me jump off Tori and land on Thorn, it was quite challenging and he made me do it ten times, I am still bruised to this day.
So I cut my arm (it hurt but did the trick) and stumbled out to Eragon "Eragon" I cried hoarsely, he looked up and right then my eyes rolled back.
After that Murtagh didn't press me over my breaking point.
Crying, Eragon has a weak spot for girls when they cry. (another thing that I magically know) So when Arya made me particularly miserable I walked into Eragon's class, he started talking and I burst into tears.
He said I could go back to bed it looked like I was having a bad day.
Period, I had LOTS of fun with this one. I got my period, and loads of cramps, so I decided I shouldn't have to train in the state I was in. So I walked into class and both Murtagh, and Eragon were there so I started sobbing and telling them the WHOLE process of the period.
Why the blood was there.
Where the blood was coming from.
How I was feeling.
Who did this to ME??? Still haven't figured that one out but anyway.
What the blood was.
When it comes, and that it was there then. They were green when I was done, and said I could take the WHOLE month off.
Paralysis, I didn't want to do school, so I thought up a REALLY good tale to tell the wanna-be teachers why I couldn't do school.
I had parcel paralyses, when the duo came storming into my room, all billowing cloak and angry faces, I went limp.
Both Eragon and Murtagh started attacking me with questions, all I did was write on a small chalkboard, they both shut up when they read it.
"Well if that's true" Murtagh hissed "then you can stay in bed for a whole week" I guess he meant it as a punishment but I LOVED IT! The best week of just resting, it felt amazing.
Diarrhea, Eragon decided that I needed to have fun with the elves, you know stuff like an ENTIRE WEEK OF FIGHTING WITH THEM!!!! Real fun.
But of course they were going to have to supervise, I swear they think I'm five!
So I put some herbs into Saphira and Thorns food that gives um terrible diarrhea.
So most of the week I was suppose to be fighting with the Elves I was entertaining myself with watching my teachers running around desperately trying to get rid of of the acid before it ruined the ground.
"Emerald why don't you come down here and help us!" Murtagh called, he was in a very bad mood, and Thorn wasn't looking so good either.
"Did any of you hear that?" I asked putting my hand to my ear, both boys looked at me questioningly "I think Tori's calling me….yup she is turns out she's got the same bug…got to fly boys" I jumped down from the wall I had been sitting on and took off at a run away from them.
Troubles with a brother, So Eragon and Murtagh where both sitting in Murtagh's class room because it was raining outside, Eragon didn't like being stuck inside but there he was sitting in the classroom all sulky.
When I took my seat Eragon forced out a smile as Murtagh rolled his beautiful eyes, "Did you do anything special this weekend Emerald?" Eragon asked awkwardly.
"Oh yeah!" I exclaimed then jumped right into my story that I had made up that very night. "Well I went and visited my brother, and he started to get on my nervous A LOT!" both boys seemed interested, "then he painted Tori's butt orange, so I tied him to a chair and took this out-" I pulled out a completely blunt knife "-and started doing this on him-" I stared doing sawing motions "and now…" I gave a long sigh "He's a unique" both boys mouths dropped open and they simply stared at me.
"We've created a monster" Murtagh said still staring.
Roran (Oops) WARNING DO NOT DO THIS ONE!!!, I flopped into my seat again both Eragon and Murtagh where in Murtagh's class room, "So" Murtagh prompted.
"Did I do anything special over the weekend?" I asked, I touched my chin casually, right then a very evil idea popped into my head, a devilish smile covered my face "Me and Roran had some…." I giggled "fun" I then seductively touched my neck craning it back.
"Fun?" Eragon asked his eyes looked like they were on fire.
"You know-" another giggle "-we kissed he told me how much he loved me and ooh he is an amazing kisser…" I touched my lips closing my eyes as if to conger up an image, but I'd barely met Roran so how he looked a little fussy.
Eragon was clutching the table so tightly that his knuckles had gone white "And exactly what did you do?" Eragon hissed.
I smiled "Everything and anything…he was-" I gave a long sigh "amazing"
Roran nearly died, but I was the one who got into BIG trouble for that little…um…stunt.
Pregnant, Murtagh glanced up from his paper work one day to eye me casually "What's wrong?" he asked looking at me with the most judgmental eyes.
"Murtagh" I said trying to sound very miserable "I'm pregnant" Murtagh's mouth dropped and he simply stared at me.
Finally he asked "Wh-who's baby is it?" he asked.
"Eragon's" I answered looking out the window dreamily "It was so romantic"
Murtagh wasn't very pleased when he found out that I had been joking again. I had gotten a good laugh but Murtagh didn't like me very much.
Soo?? What did you think? R&R the more reviews the sooner I can update, and the sooner you can LOL!