Rated: T

Summary: Atobe discovers the sin of artificial flavour, Shishido is trying to be Atobe for a day, Mukahi is out to conquer his acrophobicness…, and Oshitari is…being Oshitari. Poor Juniors…

Pairings: implied silver and atoji, too much dirty to be implied

Category: humour

Characters: hyoutei

Disclaimer: I don't own PoT

THIS FIC IS NOT TO BE REPOSTED!!!


My sixth story!! WAHHH thanks for ur reviews!!! –muah- here's a list of them all

Hyotei Phobia

Hyotei Library Session

Bets and Lovers

Book of Stupidity

Fights and Idiots


"WHAT IS THIS?" Atobe demanded, holding a strawberry slushie, it was lunchtime and the regulars decided to go to the local mall.

"I believe that is a slushie."

"Why does it taste so horribly…unstrawberrylike?"

"It's artificial flavour, Atobe."

"And who came up with the idea of Artificial Flavour, ahhh?"

"Don't tell me you've never tried artificial flavour."

"I drink specially squeezed drinks thank you!"

"Not for today, remember?" Mukahi grinned.

"Atobe!"

"What?"

"Shishido said you couldn't survive a day without your money"

"Well tell Shishido that he couldn't survive a day being buchou."

"I don't wanna be the messenger, everyone hates the messenger!" Mukahi argued.

"I heard him," Shishido called from over where he was practising with Ohtori.

"No smartass reply?" Atobe taunted.

"Spoiled rich kid…"

"But ore-sama deserves it, ahhh?"

"I bet you can't live a day without your money."

"Are you challenging Ore-sama, ahhh?"

"What does it sound like?"

"Well, Ore-sama can't imagine you being buchou for a day."

"I can so be buchou for a day," Shishido rolled his eyes.

"Ooh, this sounds like fun." Mukahi and Oshitari shared a look of pure amusement.

"Why don't you make a bet?" Oshitari suggested.

"10, 000 yen?"

"Done," Atobe and Shishido shook hands.

"How do the peasants drink this?" Atobe spat out the "disgusting" slushie

"Atobe… remember the bet?"

"That doesn't mean I have to drink this disgusting excuse for a slushie."

"You said you were thirsty." Mukahi shrugged.

"If you order your slushies now you would lose the bet, ne Kabaji?" Shishido grinned.

"…"

"Ne, Kabaji?!" Shishido tried again.

"Usu." Kabaji said reluctantly.

"Being buchou doesn't mean you have to steal Ore-sama's line!"

"Hey, you're not supposed to use ore-sama now."

"You never said I couldn't…" Atobe glared.

"… now we did."

"Argh," Atobe tried again, "Being buchou doesn't mean you have to steal ore- I mean…how do the peasants refer to themselves…? MY line!"

"...Atobe you are a retard…ne, Kabaji?"

"…"

"Kabaji, what did we go over?"

"Usu…" Said Kabaji grudgingly, give Atobe a pleading look.

"Being Buchou is fun." Shishido grinned. "Kabaji…my drink…"

"Usu." Kabaji gave Shishido his specially made slushie, all natural, of course.

"I don't recall letting you drink ore..i mean…my special made slushies…"

"Ore-samais buchou…" Shishido grinned, knowing perfectly well what Atobe's reaction would be.

"OKAY, THAT IS ENOUGH!" Atobe screamed, "ORE-SAMA, I MEAN…IHAVE THAT TRADEMARKED, YOU ARE BEFOWLING THE WORD ORE-SAMA!!!

"Shishido-san…you shouldn't take advantage of this…" Ohtori suggested. "Being buchou is probably a lot harder than it looks."

"This IS harder than it looks." Shishido grinned.

"Hmph…" Hiyoshi mumbled something about being Buchou and gekokujou…

"Ore-sama no bigi ni… yoina…" Shishido laughed, "I've always wanted to say that."

The rest of the regulars had a giggling fit.

"ORE-SAMA WILL NOT ALLOW YOU..YOU…COMMONER TO STEAL ORE-SAMA'S LINE!" Atobe finally snapped.

"For today, you are the commoner." Oshitari pointed out.

"And you used ore-sama again…" Mukahi said.

"ARGH!" Atobe went to sulk in a corner.

"Poor buchou…I mean Atobe-san." Ohtori sighed.

"I'll go cheer him up!" Jirou bounced happily to Atobe's side.

"It's okay, Atobe-kun! Mukahi and Oshitari won't pass up the opportunity to give him hell at practise!" Jirou grinned. "That is if he doesn't abuse his lap-giving privileges…"

"I'm sure Mukahi and Oshitari have a plan for that." Atobe said, rejoining the other regulars, "Only time will tell…" Atobe gave Shishido a look that foretold doom.

"I am still thirsty!" Atobe complained.

"Then let's go get a smoothie." Ohtori suggested.

"No artificial flavours!"

"It's time for practise, buchou." Oshitari said.

"Is everyone here?" Shishido asked and did a head count.

"Are you really going to do a head count on 200 members?"

"I'm counting the regulars, stupid!" Shishido said, "Jirou is missing."

"He's always missing, only Atobe knows where he is…and probably Kabaji."

"Where's Atobe?"

"Right here." Atobe glared at Shishido.

"Where's Jirou."

"You're the buchou, you should know…"

"Argh, Atobe…20 laps."

"Excuse me…?" Did Atobe hear him right? Shishido…assigning Atobe…THE ATOBE…ORE-SAMA….laps?

"20 laps Atobe." Shishido repeated.

"I'll get you back for this, ne Kabaji?" Atobe glared at Shishido.

"…"

"Kabaji is not going to answer, ne Kabaji?"

"Usu." Kabaji gave Atobe an apologetic look.

"…" Atobe flipped out his purple cellphone and dialled a number…he then proceeded to speak in Greek while taking off running.

"Kabaji, find Jirou."

"Usu."

"Someone else is missing…" Shishido said.

"Oh…well…" The other regulars looked around.

"Attention Freak, why am I not surprised?" Shishido rubbed his temples, "Oshitari, where is Mukahi?"

"He died."

"Nani?!?!" Shishido glared, "Oh well, who cares, Taki you're back on the team."

"Shishido-san…we need him for the Nationals."

"We have Taki for that, big loss, did he leave anything to me?"

"Shishido, he didn't die, I was kidding." Oshitari said.

"Oh damn…"

"So where is he?" Hiyoshi asked.

"Why ask me?"

"…Uh senpai, I think Mukahi-senpai is on the roof"

"Why do you say that?"

"Well can you explain that screaming and that red spot on the roof?"

"…Well. MUKAHI GET DOWN FROM THAT ROOF AND GET YOUR ASS TO PRACTISE!!!"
"GAKUTO, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING ON THE ROOF?" Oshitari called to his (doubles) partner.

"NO!" Mukahi screamed back, "I MUST CONQUER MY ACROPHOBIA!!!"

"…"

"Why today…why now?" Shishido was mumbling. What would Atobe do in a situation like this?

"YOU'RE NOT GOING TO JUMP ARE YOU?!?!?!?!!?!?" Ohtori called.

"NOOO!! I JUST WANNA…CONQUER MY PHOBIA!"

"KABAJI! GET MUKAHI DOWN!" Shishido commanded, there was a moment of silence. "….Kabaji?"

"I believe he's looking for Jirou."

"DAMNIT!" Shishido screamed, "GAKUTO, GET DOWN!!!"

"Having trouble?" Atobe smirked, coming back from his run.

"Our team members are messed up." Shishido sighed, "You don't by any chance have aspirin?"

"Of course, I carry it around me all the time." Atobe handed Shishido a bottle of Aspirin.

"Thank you!"

Well, they seemed to have forgotten about Mukahi…who was still on the roof screaming his head off and well to most of the school, it looked like he was about to commit suicide.

"Oshitari, can't you do anything about this?"

Oshitari smirked. "MUKAHI, DON'T JUMP, IT'S NOT WORTH IT! YOU'RE LIFE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FAILING PSYCHOLOGY!"

"SHUT UP, I'M NOT TRYING TO JUMP! I HAVE A 48 IN PSYCHOLOGY NOW!!!!"

"THAT'S STILL A FAIL, GAKUTO! BEFORE YOU DIE, I WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT I LOVE YOU!" Oshitari's face was of pure amusement.

"…what…the…fuck…?" The whole team said, except for Atobe who doubled over laughing.

"YUUSHI…WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?!?!?!"

"ATOBE!!!"

"What? I'm not getting the loser down." Atobe said, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes.

"WHERE IS KABAJI?"

"He's off looking for Jirou…"

"ARGH!!!" Shishido screamed.

"Shishido-san, please calm down…"

"THAT.IS.IT!!! I AM GOING UP THERE!"

"I wouldn't do that if I were you…"

"WHAT IS IT NOW, ATOBE?"

"Never leave the team when they're like this, buchou lesson one on one." Atobe smirked.

"THEN WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?"

"Problem solving," Atobe smirked.

Why today…why today?

"If you were a proper buchou, you wouldn't have let it get this far…"

"Are you challenging Ore-sama, ahhh?" Shishido grinned.

"…Don't make me slap you." Atobe glared.

"Maybe if we pretend he's not there, he would go away." Shishido mumbled and turned back. "Where's Oshitari?"

"Up there, Shishido-san." Ohtori said, pointing to the roof.

"WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING UP THERE?"

"Ouch, first day on the job and you lost four members of your team."

"Where is Kabaji? Shouldn't he be here by now?"

"Kabaji doesn't know where Jirou sleeps, only I know." Atobe said.

"Why couldn't you tell me?!!?"

"It's a buchou's duty to know where your team members are…"

"SNUFF IT!"

"Touchy…"

"OI, OSHITARI! GET DOWN HERE AND BRING MUKAHI WITH YOU!"

"WE'RE GOING TO COMMIT COUPLE'S SUICIDE!!!"

"WHEN DID YOU DECIDE THAT?"

"TWO SECONDS AGO…"

"Who wants to take their place in the regulars?"

"I DO!"

"Shishido, that's hardly problem solving…" Atobe said.

"SHUT UP!"

"You fail as a buchou…" Hiyoshi said.

"ARGH! NOBODY ASKED YOU!"

"Shishido-san…"

"I'm sorry, Chotarou." Shishido turned to Atobe "I bet you made them do it…"

"Ore-sama will not stump to that level."

"You're not allowed to use Ore-sama remember? One more Ore-sama and you lose."

"That is not relevant at a time like this, buchou," Atobe hissed. "If you forgot, two team members are about to commit suicide."

"They wouldn't, they're just trying to get attention, and they're getting it."

"Whether they are or not is irrelevant, we are already twenty minutes into practise and we still haven't hit one tennis ball." Hiyoshi said.

"HEY NINJA! Get your butt down here!" Shishido called Oshitari, "Don't give Mukahi any ideas!"

"HE'S TRYING TO CONQUER HIS FEARS!" Oshitari called back.

"THAT'S IT!" Shishido threw down his cap and walked away, "I GIVE UP! GO DIE!"

"Ore-sama wins the bet?" Atobe asked.

"Yes, you win…"

"Well, not really." Hiyoshi pointed out.

"And why ever not?"

"Because, you used Ore-sama again,"

"So, it's a tie?" Ohtori asked.

"Seems so." Hiyoshi said.

"HELLO!?!? WE'RE STILL UP HERE!!!"

"WELL GET DOWN HERE!"

"CAN'T!"

"AND WHY NOT?"

"THE DOOR'S LOCKED!!!!"

"…"


Note: Shishido called Oshitari ninja because Oshitari has a name like a ninja, Oshitari literally means "Stealth Feet" (A ninjitsu skill). Also, Oshi (kanji for stealth) is the same character as "Ninja"

Couple's Suicide: suicide that a couple commits together (for example, jumping off a building hand in hand)


A/N: woOt, I finished this in like…English class…god im gonna have a whole lot of homework…please Review!! I'll love you if you dooo!!!

I live off your reviews!!!