The Official JLA -What to do if genderswapped - List

Disclaimer: not mine. You´d noticed.

Sorry for the long absense. I´m back and have hopefully used your ideas in your best interest.

This now a "rule"-chapter again. The last one was just an interlude, which I might re-use later on. Much later on.

Thanks to: Lightning Princess, BlazeStryker, HobbitSizeMe, Jackalyn, Amarin Rose, motherkat and Trickster91

Summary: Rules 151 to 175


151. No, we will not sacrifice our firstborns.

Or any other children. In fact, we won´t sacrifice anyone. And that´s our final word.

That includes Booster Gold, too. The excuse "he isn´t even born yet" does not count.

...you do realize I can see the scythe you´re trying to hide behind your back, Canary, don´t you?

152. All copies of "Basic Magic: Spells for Dummies" are to be burned.

Now, before anyone gets his/her hands on the babelfish translation machine.

153. Re-enactement of the Cafeteria Fiasco are banned. Forever

154. No, you´re not allowed to purhcase time-share appartements on Themyscira, Beetle

..what was that of Kooey-Kooey?

155. Changing your codename from "Captain Atom" to "Queen Beatriz from Belgia" is not permitted.

changing "Animal Man" to "Playmate Bunny" not permitted either...especially without asking him first.

156. It could be punishment for what we did wrong in previous incarnations...

but since it is Captain Marvel playing hopskotch in a frilly skirt, we doubt it.

157. We don´t encourage Harakiri, Seppuku or other forms of suicide out of honor reasons.

We don´t encourage suicide, homecide, or killing in any form. Out of any reasons.

158. We don´t know who (or how) smuggled Poison Ivy´s pheronome plant-powder (aka Sexpollen) up to the Watchtower.

But we will make someone pay for him.

159. Following items are hereby banned from the Watchtower:

- Superhero Action figures

no need to rub it into our face, Red Tornado.

- marshmallows

- copies of the third season of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"

you don´t wanna know

160. Yes, asking Young Justice for help wasn´t the brightest idea, Flash.

We don´t doubt the abilities of some members.

We fear the incompetence of the rest.

We won´t tell any names...Slobo

161. Asking Darkseid was an even worse idea.

162. We are not making a yearbook out of this.

- We won´t nominate Mister Miracle and Big Barda as as "loveliest couple" ...ok, they are lovely, but I told you we won´t make an album.

- Booster Gold is not the favorite for "Best smile"

- And Blue Beetle is not the "#1 Geek" (Mister Terrific is)

163. When arguing with J´onn the phrase "But Mooo-oom" is not to be used.

Ever.

Again.

164. Snapping a few pictures for your memory album is okay (with the permission of the people portrayed).

And "Paparazzi is such a harsh word" is not a good excuse.

165. The rumors that Batman is trying to rewrite the Kama-Sutra are not confirmed.

but everybody knows that anyway...

166. Throwing bananas at a fermale Grodd is humiliating.

For you, because he throws back..and he has a very good aim.

167. The exclamation "I found Ray Palmer!" should not be yelled everytime you see dust and suspect him to be in there.

Or if you see anything tiny and red. Or a sliver of blue. Or just anything very small that seems to move..or not to move.

No, we haven´t found him yet. No, we didn´t stop looking, we were just taking a break...which lasted over a week now.

168..For the heros that do have young children please say away from them until you are all back to normal.

The last thing we need is for them to get all hysterical and wonder who the real mommy or daddy is.

And our insurance does not cover the costs for therapists.

We also don't need them to go to school and tell other children they have two mommies or daddies (when the day before they had only one of each).

169. Don't get other leaguers pregnant!

Well, we can´t forbid you to you-know-what but we mean that rule as in the meaning of

"getting other leaguers pregnant to look what happens,

to annoy them,

for scientific experments,

because you are drunk,

because you want to see someone suffer (be it mother or ...other mother)

because it seemed like a good idea at that time and

because you just felt like it."

170. We don´t think that a special diet would help to alter your metabolism to encourage the produce of some hormons.

Especially if it consists of Chocos.

WHAT?!!!!!

171. We are also not producing a swimsuit- calendar.

not even for charity. And certainly not for Dean Prince.

Although you do look hot in a bikini, Beetle.

And you look good wearing...whatever that tiny piece of fabric is, Booster.

172. We won´t relocate our annual picnic to Mardi Gras.

That didn´t prevent some leaguers from sneaking off.

Captain Glory returned with some model on either of his arms.

Guy didn´t return at all.

And Hal Jordan returned with the most impressive collection beads I´ve ever seen.

173. You are not a lesbian that is trapped in a man´s body which was transformed into a female body by mystical forces and you have not fallen in love with a gay guy whose female body was twice reversed and is now a hetero female in a male´s gay body.

Shut up Captain Atom!

174. You won´t find a genderswitch potion in a cereal box.

That was just a lame rumor spread by Booster Gold to get rid of his Booster-O´s.

175. Sleepwalking is no excuse for raiding the kitchen...

during daytime, you idiots!