I'm Not a Girl!

A/N: Not very creative with the title and it's unbeta-ed so if there are any errors, I apologize. Phantom and Alviss are quite OOC as well -.- It's my first Fanfic

Author: Alviss Crazed Fan

Summary: While Alviss desperately tries to defend his masculinity, Phantom is persistent to prove otherwise. Phantom x Alviss. One Shot

Disclaimer: The chance of me being Nobuyuki Anzai is slim to none. I don't own MÄR. End of story.

"Allie-chan, stay here."

Alviss froze at the horrendous nickname in mid step, slowly turning his head towards the white haired man with fire in his eyes. "Allie…" His eyebrow twitched. "… chan?"

Phantom ignored the boy's reaction as he nodded. "Allie comes from Al." He scratched his chin. "And chan is cute for a cute guy!" He replied, pinching Alviss' cheek. "Think of it as a term of endearment."

The blue eyed teenager quietly fumed, crossing his arms and glared darkly the Knight. "I don't know why you effeminate my name."

"Because you're a very effeminized guy!" Alviss cuffed the older man on the head. "It's not my fault you have long eyelashes! And you've got curves! CURVES DAMMIT!" The blue eyed boy looked rather taken back at Phantom's declaration as he blushed crimson. "Aww," Phantom continued, hanging over his shoulder. "You shouldn't be ashamed of your femininity."

"I'm not a girl." Alviss repeated deadpan, shrugging Phantom off him.

"But you can turn people as straight as an arrow into…" Phantom paused, trying to pick something that would perfectly describe what he has to say. "… A ball."

Alviss raised an eyebrow. "A ball…?" He repeated, looking at the man like he was insane (the man has yet to give anyone the reason to think otherwise).

"Well, there's no such thing as a straight ball." Phantom pointed out, using a finger to draw a circle in the air.

"But that doesn-"

"Take that Nanashi of Luberia for instance."

"Don't you dare bring that up," Alviss groaned, looking at the Knight darkly. The incident with Nanashi was the most awkward moment of his life. "He was drunk." He added, glancing around for a way to escape the conversation.

"You must at least resemble a woman for him to grope you like that." Phantom stated, grabbing Alviss by the upper arm when the teen was about to make a rush for the door several metres behind him.

"Anyway, you're a good height for men." Phantom said, pulling Alviss into a hug and resting his chin on top of the other's head as if proving his point.

"I'm not that short." Alviss groaned, pressing his hands against the other's chest as an attempt to push him away.

"The witch Dorothy is taller then you and she's a woman."

"And your hair doesn't count." Phantom added as the blue eyed teen opened his mouth to protest. The white haired Knight had already come to the conclusion that Alviss styled his hair like that to add extra inches to his height.

"Well Ginta-"

"Is fourteen." Phantom finished for him. "Two years your junior." He raised an eyebrow at the flushed teen. "Are you going to compare yourself to that annoying fairy that follows you around?"


Phantom beamed as he grabbed Alviss' hand. "You also have slender fingers and soft hands." He smiled amusingly at the blunette. "Very girly if you ask me."

"And," Phantom continued, refusing to let Alviss' hand go. "You're even more girly than that talking dog."

"That dog's a he." Alviss responded flatly, trying to pry the pale fingers from his wrist.

Phantom looked confused. "Really?"

Awkward silence.

"…Why are you comparing me to a dog anyway?"

Phantom laughed nervously. "Moving on," he shifted his eye side to side before he seemed back at ease again. "Under undeniable evidence I have against you, I now declare you're a girl."

Alviss was rather taken back at the confident declaration of the white haired man. "W-What?"

Phantom looked at him slyly. "You heard me."

Alviss frowned. "I'm flat." He said bluntly, gesturing at his chest with his free hand that Phantom wasn't currently rubbing his face against.

"Late bloomer." Phantom replied smoothly.

"I'm sixteen."

"Verylate bloomer."


"Negative A-cup then."

"… Is there such thing?"

"I dunno; you're the girl, not me."

Alviss sighed, tired of the conversation. "Is there anyway to prove I'm not girl?" He murmured, causing Phantom to grin wickedly.

"You could always pull your pants down." He replied slyly.

Without hesitation, Alviss punched him.