Don't own Naruto


Kakashi slept in the next day. Eventually he rose, dressed and decided he couldn't be bothered making breakfast. He'd buy something in town.

His morning began to go rapidly downhill when the Head of Interrogation accosted him on the roof. "What do you know about this?" said Ibiki in a deceptively calm tone, holding out a stapler.

Kakashi scratched his head. "I believe that is called a stapler, and is commonly used for securing sheets of paper to one another. Quite an ingenious device."

"Anything else?"

"I'm afraid that's all I can tell you at present. Have you tried the library?"

Ibiki was not amused. "I happened upon this particular stapler when it flew out of a third-floor window and hit me in the face. Does that help to refresh your memory?"

It refreshed Kakashi's memory considerably. Apparently he had not only lost a fight with office equipment that afternoon, but also managed to piss off a professional torturer. What was the best thing to do in this situation? Lie, that's what.

"Not at all, Ibiki-san. My apologies, now if that is all…"

"Oh no you don't." Ibiki caught hold of Kakashi's collar, preventing him leaving. Kakashi could have escaped the hold, of course, but something told him that would be unwise. "I'm not finished with you yet. I already know it was you who threw this. What I'd really like to know is why two of my staff are in hospital with septicaemia and I have spent four days dealing with the chaos caused by this accursed item of stationery. Since you were the last person to have had it, perhaps you could enlighten me as to why anyone would attempt to perform a forbidden jutsu on a stapler?"