CRASH BOOM BANG
A/N: The title is taken from Roxette's beautiful song "Crash Boom Bang".
The characters and universe in this story do not belong to me; they belong to J.K. Rowling.
Plot: Pre-HBP, post OOTP, but contains a few points from HBP. With the help of the Order the Phoenix and of his friends, Harry managed to defeat Voldemort in his seventh year. He has just turned 18, wondering whether he should become an Auror or a professional Quidditch player when Dumbledore offers him the DADA position at Hogwarts. There is one person who prevents him from fully enjoying what was always a home for him. Severus Snape. Or is there still a chance for them to lay aside their differences? Dumbledore is strangely optimistic…Involves a karaoke bar in Hogsmeade, a pyjama party when Harry turns 19, sparks between Harry and Severus (I'll try to keep them both as much in character as possible) and other things…And just because Voldemort is dead, it doesn't mean his Death Eaters are gone or all in prison. Don't like gayness and/or Snarry, don't read. Otherwise: enjoy and please submit your comments so that I can improve my writing and the plot. Forever yours, The Nostromo.
"It sounds great, Harry, but you must be the youngest teacher any wizarding school has ever employed." Hermione Granger said, flabbergasted. She and Ron Weasley (who were at last a couple) were studying the letter Hedwig had delivered to Harry Potter. It was a sunny day in the Burrow, and the trio was relaxing in the kitchen while the rest of the Weasley family (Arthur, Molly and Ginny) hurried around doing their individual chores.
"Come on, 'Mione, Harry has a lot more experience where the Dark Arts are concerned than the average wizard," Ron pointed out.
"Yes, I know. But teaching the seventh-years…Why, Harry will be teaching people who are nearly his age!"
"I'd go ahead if I were you, mate," Ron said to Harry, ignoring his sceptical girlfriend, "and it's not as if Harry's not had teaching experience. Dumbledore's Army, anyone?"
Hermione still looked unsure.
Harry got up and stretched.
"Wonder how Snape will react when he realises that I'll be his colleague."
"Ha! So you're accepting the post?" Ron screeched. Hermione rubbed her ear pointedly.
"Yeah. I am."
"What about being an Auror? You have the necessary N.E.W.T.s and it's what you've always wanted," Hermione asked.
"I haven't completely dismissed the idea. There are still Death Eaters out there. On the other hand…I'd be able to pass on my knowledge and experience to younger witches and wizards, prepare them for what the world outside…I think I can do that better than if I were an Auror. Who knows, if I lose my job at the end of the year like all the previous teachers have done, then I may be able to leap into action myself."
"Now that Voldemort is dead, the curse he placed on the job is gone as well," Hermione reminded him.
"Know-it-all," Ron remarked affectionately.
"Won-Won," Hermione said casually.
"Krummiekin," Ron whispered.
"Ah, shut up, you two," Harry said, amused.
"This has to be celebrated," Ron shouted, punching the air.
"Yeah, how about if we nip round to my place and have a party in two days? Everyone's free on Saturday evening," Harry suggested.
As a consequence, there was a huge and raucous party at Grimmauld Place that night. Fred and George hurried over after closing their joke shop for the day, equipped with articles bound to grab everyone's attention. Remus Lupin, too, was present, making everyone laugh with his subtle sense of humour. After Voldemort's downfall, the house had finally been made fit for human inhabitation. The portrait of Sirius's mother had been unstuck from the wall with the united force of the Order. The Order members had not only succeeded in removing the picture but also in blasting an enormous hole in the wall where the portrait had hung. Phineas Nigellus had sulked for a month until the damage was repaired. However, his displeasure had been fanned anew when the wall was decorated with a giant picture of the Chudley Cannons. The rooms contained elegant mahogany furniture which smelt pleasantly of polish, and the walls sported enigmatic arty pictures (Dumbledore's contribution); there were special perches for the owls in the ceiling corners of the room, and the floors had carpets of red and gold. A spacious games room stocked with Wizard and Muggle games kept everyone entertained for hours. The library was easily the most impressive part of the house, packed with books chiefly selected by Dumbledore and Hermione.
The party went till two in the morning and would have gone on for longer if Mrs Weasley, fed up of the racket, had not stamped down the stairs like an enraged Hungarian Horntail and, with the mere power of her vocal cords, successfully chased everyone into bed.
The next day, another owl arrived for Harry, telling him what he required as a teacher and that he had to choose books which the pupils would have to buy for their DADA classes.
"I bet you didn't think of that," Hermione said bossily as Harry jogged into the library, clutching the parchment in his hand.
"Wonder why you didn't get the job offer. You're the teaching type," Harry replied, annoyed.
"I'm perfectly happy with my job," she said brightly.
Hermione worked for the Ministry of Magic as a diplomat, negotiating magical contracts and agreements between witches and wizards from all over the world. She was also involved in setting up a S.P.E.W. foundation. Ginny, who was interested in working for the Daily Prophet as a journalist and was about to start her seventh year, helped her with advertising and communicating the foundation's statutes and aims. She was much calmer about the whole thing than Hermione tended to be. Ron, in the meantime, was training to join the Chudley Cannons. As had always been the case, Quidditch remained a delicate topic between him and Hermione.
"All this dangerous and useless competition, it's-" Hermione would prudently stop at the look on Ron's and Harry's faces.
The day came when Harry had to leave his friends and go to Hogwarts – on the Knight Bus. Although it was not his first time on the vehicle, Harry simply could not get used to all the bumping and bouncing around. Still, it was part of all the fun, and his good mood increased when the village of Hogsmeade approached with roughly the speed of light.