Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece. Oda-sensei is the genius behind that. I just hope I don't take any terrible liberties with this...
I've gone soft.
No, seriously, I have.
I know what your thinking. You don't believe me, do you? No, the demonic pirate hunter Zoro could never go soft.
I'd like to believe that myself. But I can't. Because I'm not an evil, demonic, pirate hunter anymore. I've gone soft, and I'll tell you why.
I suppose if I had to blame any one person, I'd be that idiotic, optimistic captain of ours, Monkey D. Luffy. It's his fault I'm on this ship in the first place. He's the one that brought her aboard. And, believe it or not, he's the one that gave me the advice that caused me to turn soft.
The second-highest blame holder would have to be that shitty sous-chef, Sanji. If he hadn't done all this Good Samaritan, nakama crap, things wouldn't have turned out the way they had. But no, the one time in my life that I don't want his kindness, he's my best friend. Sometimes I think he did it on purpose, just to piss me off.
Third place would have to go to that conniving, thieving witch-woman, Nami. If hadn't been for her kindness and all that crap, I wouldn't be sitting here telling you this right now.
I suppose Usopp deserves some credit for it. He gave me the skills I needed to face her, impress her, make her think twice. Amazing, huh? What kind of skills? I'll get to that later.
And then there's Chopper. Mr. jump-to-conclusions. Nearly got the entire crew into civil war, that little blue-nosed freak did. But, looking back, I guess he was just a guy looking out for his friend. I should have realized that. But I didn't.
The only innocent one is Franky. I mean, sure, he did do a little to help it along, but then some random guy on the street also did a little to help it along. Sorry man, but I just can't pin this on you.
Funny how you can get off topic when you don't even want to talk about things. I suppose I haven't even told you why I've gone soft, have I? I can sum it up in two words for you.
That deceptive, two-timing, double-crossing, emotionless archaeologist.
Why is it all her fault? That's kind of embarrassing for me to explain...
You see, after our little "raid" on Enies Lobby, I stopped worrying about her betraying us so much. I mean, she'd done it once already, how bad could it be if it happened again. So I let my guard down. Big mistake. Probably the biggest I've ever made in my life.
I started to notice things about Robin. I could fill entire books with all the little things, but not only would that take too long, It'd also make me look like a pathetic love struck fool. And I wouldn't appreciate being put on the same level as Sanji.
Basically, when it boils right down to it, I started to appreciate having Robin around more. I actually enjoyed her company for a change. She seemed like a no-nonsense kind of person, and I respected that (even if she did drink way too much coffee.)
Then one day, something happened that made me realize I liked her. It's a funny story actually. You'll probably want to know all about how it happened and all that Romeo kind of crap, but y'know what? I really don't care. It's not something I feel very comfortable telling. I've gone soft, it's true, but I'm no romantic sentimentalist.
So begins my corny, pathetic tale.
I have gone soft, and I'll prove it even if I have to stuff it down your throat.