---So this is just a little story I came up with after watching Charlie the Unicorn and playing Harry Potter Trivia.
Don't ask where any of it came from... If you've ever seen Charlie the Unicorn you'd probably understand more...
We just don't asks it. Kay? ---
Charlie the Weasley
By: Laria Kaiba
Alone in his room, Charlie Weasley slept peacefully in his bed. It wasn't often you got such quiet time like this in Weasley household, and he of all should know. He relished the silence and snuggled deeper into his soft pillow. That is, until…
"Heeey! Hey Charlie! Hey Charlie wake up!"
It was the voice of his younger brother, Fred, speaking in unnaturally, and annoyingly, high voice. He kept his eyes closed and prayed that he would get the hint to go away but then his twin brother, George spoke.
"Yeah Charlie, you silly sleepy head, wake up!" he said in the same high pitched tone as Fred.
"Ugh…" Charlie groaned, opening his eyes to see the twins standing at the foot of his bed, "This had better be pretty freakin' important. Is the Borrow on fire?"
"No, we found a map to Gander Mountain!" Fred said, still talking shrilly, "Gander Mountain, Charlie!"
"Yeah Charlie, we're going to Gander Mountain!" George said, "Come with us Charlie!"
"Yeah Charlie, it'll be an adventure!" said Fred, "We're going on an adventure Charlie!"
Charlie stared at his brothers for a second.
"Yeah… Gander Mountain… right…" he mumbled, "I'm just gonna, you know, go back to sleep now."
He rolled over and closed his eyes.
"Nooo!" Fred exclaimed doing a back flip onto his brother's bed, "Charlie! You have to come with us to Gander Mountain!"
"Yeah Charlie! Gander Mountain!" said George as Fred started jumping on the bed, "It's a land of sweets and joy… and joyness!"
"Please stop bouncing on me."
"Gander Mountain, Charlie!" insisted Fred, still jumping.
"Yeah Gander Mountain!"
"Alright fine! I'll go with you to Gander Mountain!" Charlie yelled, anything to shut them up.
Our three hero's battle triumphantly towards their goal. Or actually, Fred and George lead their older brother Charlie deep into the woods that lay behind the Borrow. On their way the twins sang a catchy little tune.
"La la la, la-la la, la la-la la la la, la-la la, la la-la la la la, la-la la, la la-la la!"
"Enough with the singing already!" Charlie growled.
"Our first stop is over there Charlie!"
They turned around a big tree and came upon a strange creature.
"Oh God, what is that?" Charlie asked.
"It's a naked hippogriff Charlie!" said Fred.
"A magical naked hippogriff!" George added.
"It's going to guide our way to Gander Mountain!"
"Alright guys, you do know that there is no actual Gander Mountain, right?" Charlie asked.
"Shun the non-believer!" exclaimed Fred.
"Shuuuuuuun!" said George as Charlie glared at the twins.
"Yeah…" Charlie sighed.
At that moment the naked hippogriff let out a loud squawk and flew away.
"It has spoken!" Fred said.
"It has told us the way!"
Fred and George took off deeper into the woods. Charlie stood staring after them.
"HE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!"
Somewhere along the way, they happened upon a couple old brooms. The three Weaselys were now flying over the forest and toward a muggle town.
"It's just over village Charlie!" said Fred.
"This magical village of hope and wonder!"
Charlie looked down at the ancient broom.
"Is anyone else getting, like, covered in splinters?" he asked, "Seriously guys, we shouldn't be on these things."
"Charlie!" called Fred, "Chaaaaarlie! Chaaaarlliiieee! Chaaaaaaaaaarli—"
"I'm right here, what do you want?"
"We're on a broom Charlie!"
The three stood in front of a muggle store. At the top it proudly proclaimed 'Gander Mountain'.
"Well what do you know," Charlie said gazing up at the store, "There actually is a Gander Mountain."
"Gander Mountain! Gander Mountain!" Fred sang, "Fill me with sweet sugary goodness!"
"Go inside the Gander Mountain store Charlie!" said George.
"Yeah Charlie, go inside the store!" Fred said, "Magical wanders that behold you when you enter."
"Yeah uh, thanks but no thanks," Charlie said, "I'm just going to stay out here."
"But you have to go inside the Gander Mountain store Charlie!"
Just then music started playing the 'Gander' letters from the sign jumped down and started to dance. The letter R came over to the Weasleys and started to sing… about candy…
"Oh when you're down and looking for some cheering up, then just head right on up to the Gander Mountain store! When you get inside you will find yourself a cheery land, such a happy and joy filled and perky merry land! They've got lollipops and gummy drops and candy things! Oh so many things that will brighten up your day! It's impossible to wear a frown in candy town! It's the Mecca of love the candy cave! They've got jellybeans and coconuts with little hats! Candy rats, chocolate bats it's a wonderland of sweets! Ride the candy train to town and hear the candy band! Candy bells it's a treat as they march across the land! Cherry ribbons stream across the sky into the ground! Turn around it astounds it's a dancing candy tree! In the Gander Mountain store the imagination runs so free! so now Charlie will you please go into the store!"
All the letters came together and exploded.
"Alright fine I'll go into the freakin' store," Charlie said through the sliding glass doors, "This had better be good."
Inside the store was dark and deserted.
Outside the store Fred and George laughed.
"Yeah goodbye Charlie!"
"Goodbye what?" the eldest Weasley asked as the glass doors slid shut and the store went into complete darkness. "Hey what's going on here!"
In the distance he heard someone walking.
"Hello?" he asked and the footsteps drew closer, "Who is that?"
Next thing he knew he was knocked unconscious.
Charlie Weasley woke up in his bed dazed.
He sat up and looked around. He then noticed that something was very wrong…
"Ah, they took my frickin' kidney!"