X-Men and all related Marvel characters belong to Marvel. Cecilia AKA Midus, however, is my property. So please, hands off.
This is a short epilogue that I've written to finish up A Beautiful Lie. In the near future after I've finished another unrelated story, I hope to finish the sequel to this. I'm about a fourth of the way through it, so maybe I can pull it off. If not, at least you guys are left with something better than "We must get to Washington." Plus, everybody likes a semi-happy ending, right?
Please keep in mind that Cecilia is highly disturbed. She has so many things going on inside of her that it's a wonder that she can even function normally. What would you do if you learned that everything you had ever known in your entire existence had been a lie? Cecilia decided to find the answers.
It had been months since I'd last seen all of them that snowy day at Alkali Lake. Almost a year had passed and yet at the same time it seemed like just yesterday that I'd seen them. And yet as I stared blankly at the lit windows, I couldn't help but wonder if they'd missed me. Despite the warm weather, a cold chill caused me to slide my gloved hands into the front pockets of my jeans. I couldn't help but wonder why someone hadn't come outside yet, discovering me and drawing me into the warmly lit Mansion. But, on the other hand, I could only hope that nobody did. I wasn't ready yet.
Come insidethe familiar voice echoed inside of my head, urging me to walk through the large wrought iron gate and stalk up to the front door. But, it just wasn't in me to push away everything and pretend that everything was fine. Too many things needed to be addressed before I could ever allow myself to step foot inside of the Mansion again. We'll be waiting for you when you decide that you are ready, he brushed at my mind yet again before disappearing.
After spending weeks moving around constantly, I had found myself driving toward New York. I was only passing through when somehow I found myself staring up at the familiar place where secrets laid in wait. My plan was to make it to the Big Apple and sort out the things that had been left in the dust for far too long. Knowing that the Avengers had a base of operation there, I hoped to finally put aside my fear and discover the real truth.
"I knew I smelt ya," my eyes hardly widened as his boots crunched the gravel beneath his feet and he approached the side of the truck. I had not sensed him, and I cursed myself for letting my guard down. His eyes seemed to bore into mine as he placed his hands on the door and stared in at me, searching for something that I could never offer. "What the hell ya sittin' out here for? Shouldn't ya be comin' inside?"
I licked my lips as I shook my head. It hurt me too much to admit that I was too cowardly to face anyone, let alone him. "I still have some business to attend to," I managed to mutter as I closed my eyes and placed my hands firmly on the steering wheel. Perhaps if I could get away quick enough, I could avoid the tears.
"I know ya think that ya have to figure out ya past, that ya have to know everything, but ya don't," he shook his head as his fingers gently brushed against my shoulder. "I can't remember a damned thing before I managed t'get out of that fuckin' base, Cecilia. I know what it's like wondering 'bout who ya really are and who you're supposed to be. It's taken me a long time t'accept it, but I've realized something," I turned my head slightly and allowed him to cup my cheek with his hand.
"And what's that, Logan?" I asked despite the dryness that had suddenly taken hold of my throat and clenched it tightly. All I could think about was the feel of his hand on bare skin.
"Ya past ain't what makes ya, Cecilia. You are what makes ya. I don't give a damn 'bout what happened in ya past, and I hope that ya don't give a damn 'bout what happened t'me in m' past. Our past experiences don't make us who we are today, that's the joy of growing older. We might make mistakes, but we learn from 'em," I winced as he gripped my cheek roughly, jerking my attention to him as his eyes smouldered. "Ya can't run from ya past, but you sure as hell can't live in it."
My throat clenched tightly as I fought to regain the control that I had worked so hard to gain over the years. I had learned the hard way that to keep myself safe, I had to keep my emotions in check. It had been my only security in a cold life, and it had failed me only once. Scott. "Logan, I know that but I can't deny the fact that in order to live my life I have to figure out who I am. I have all of the pieces and until I put them in place, I'm only going to be a broken puzzle. Can't you understand that?" I willed him to understand, to accept. I didn't want to hurt him.
"Let me go with you," he muttered gruffly as his eyes bore into mine. They seemed to be looking right through me and into my soul, searching for the answer that they wanted. "I can help ya, Cecilia. Let me help you," he suggest edsoftly, his voice barely registering over the loud hum of the truck's engine.
"Logan, I have to do this for me, can't you understand that?" I pulled away from me, cringing as the look of pain and rejection crossed his face as I jerked my hands away from the wheel and placed the left upon his left. I took a deep breath, I shook my head. "You don't know me, Logan. Nobody knows me. I'm doing this so that I can figure out who I am."
"I know you, Cecilia," he muttered gruffly; his hand grasped mine tightly, his body's warmth radiated off of him in thick waves. "When I thought ya were dead, ya have no idea how it affected me," I fought back the tears as he continued to stare at me. "It felt like somethin' had been ripped outta me and then ripped apart again. Please, don't do it t'me again."
I swallowed the lump in my throat as a single tear cascaded down my cheek. "Logan, I have to do this, and I know that you don't like it, but I have to do this," he took a deep breath as I leaned forward and brushed my lips against his own. It was as if the fire inside of me licked at his skin as I tried to pour every emotion that was beating in my heart into him. I tried to show him that I cared about him too much to put him in such a horrible position. And I could only pray that one day he would understand. "Logan, I have to do this," I licked my lips as I pulled away and placed my hands in my lap. "Let me do this, and we'll go from there."
"You still owe me a good talk," he muttered as he pulled his hands away from the truck and stuck them in his pockets. He didn't want to accept my decision, but the truth of the matter was that he had no choice. "Know that ya can call me and I'll be there before ya know it," he stared at me solemnly as he blinked his eyes rapidly.
"I know," I put the truck in gear as I managed to smile at him. "Logan, I'm sorry," he only nodded his head as I pulled away from the gate and sped off down the road that led far away from the one place that I desperately wanted to be but was trying so hard to run away from. Part of me wanted to turn back around and throw myself into his arms and seek what comfort he could offer me. The rest of me wanted to get as far away from him as physically possible.
I decided that the latter was the best option.
After all, I had all the information I needed to track down my parents and find out the truth that had been hidden from me for so long. I knew that they were working with the Avengers and that my mother had kept me a secret from my father for far too long. Family reunions were never fun, but it was time that he met his daughter. I needed to get my life on track before I could ever look any of the X-Men in the eye again.
I'd went to the Mansion fully intending to talk to the Professor and tell him what I had seen at the lake after they had left, but I couldn't find it in me to tell him the truth. Even in her death Jean Grey had managed to ruin everything for me.
So instead of admitting the truth, I had turned away and sought the past in an attempt to cover up my shame. Despite what Logan believed, I knew that he was wrong.
Until I they truly saw who I really am, I'll always be simply a beautiful lie.
A/N: Thank you to everyone that has constantly reviewed and supported this story. I hope to at least get the sequel out by the end of this year. Not finished, mind you, but out. Thank you for reading. I hope this Epilogue isn't too horrible. Lots of foreshadowing in it. Hint Hint.