Disclaimer: We own nothing. Not even a bleach-pen. We'll let you know when we do own them though.
A/N: This is it. The last chapter. The end. No more will come after this. It's a sad day indeed. Hence the reason it took so long for me to write it. I didn't want to finish it! But I have...and I must say, I'm VERY proud of myself and corncob. On with the chapter! Enjoy!
One week later:
"Peas or carrots?"
"Peaches actually, and I know you have some in the back. I've seen them."
"Actually, we don't know what happened to them."
"You lost thirty cans of peaches?"
"No. You took them you freak," Reno glared over the food at the newly re-instated Turk.
"Careful Reno. We don't want one of the new lunch ladies to go missing because she pissed off a Turk," Vincent said as he carefully examined the food.
Reno's grip on his ladle tightened as he tried to ignore Vincent's use of the word 'she.'
"Is this supposed to be roast beef?" Vincent asked, pointing at a lumpy substance floating in an inch of grease.
"Dunno, ask the other lunch lady. He cooked it," Reno pointed with the ladle at Zack.
Vincent turned to look at his ex-partner in crime and stared in shock. Zack was in full lunch lady mode. He was sporting an apron that was equipped with every utensil any lunch would love to have. He had a ladle, spatula, tongs, sponge, and even an extendable fork.
Zack had even put his hair in a hairnet. Not very well, but it was still up. Vincent accepted the peas Reno offered and moved towards Zack with a look of disbelief.
"Fair?" Vincent asked.
"Hey! How's it going? I don't know why you complained about this job, it's great!" Zack said, waving at some SOLDIERs walking by.
"And congrats on being in the Turks again; I bet Tseng's happy to have you back," Zack turned to get another tray of rolls.
Vincent looked over at Reno out of the corner of his eye and smirked when he noticed the redhead eavesdropping.
"Yes, it's very good to get back to the job I was hired for. And Tseng's thrilled to have his proper second back," Vincent said just loud enough for Reno to hear.
"He keeps saying how nice it's going to be to have someone who know what they're doing backing him up. He may decide there's no reason for Reno to come back," Vincent's smirk grew into a full smile when he heard Reno growl.
Before Vincent, or anyone else in line, could register what was happening, Zack was trying to restrain Reno. He had one arm around his chest to pull him back while the other hand was trying to stop the cleaver from removing Vincent's head from the rest of him.
"Reno, stop it! What's the matter with you?" Zack yelled as he pulled his friend back a few feet.
"There always was talk about you being unstable, but now there's proof," Vincent remarked, not looking the least bit unnerved.
"I'm not the one who tried to poison the whole executive staff," Reno snarled, trying to break free of Zack's grip.
Fucking mako strength!
Vincent blanched. He quickly recovered and shot Reno a look that promised retribution and left the line. He made his way to the very back corner, passing Tseng and Seph along the way.
"Think he spit in the food?"
"Think he spit in the food?" Seph asked, pushing the mashed potatoes around with a fork.
"At least," Tseng said, eyeing the watery gravy. It could just be runny from too much water, but was most likely from Reno's special addition of spit.
Better not to risk it. Tseng pushed his tray away, Seph soon followed his example.
"Maybe we shouldn't have given them lunch detail. They have too much opportunity to get back at us," Tseng remarked.
"I've been thinking that. Guess we're bringing food or eating out for the next two months," Seph said, looking at his food longingly. He really like mashed potatoes.
Tseng rubbed his eye, which was still bruised, and looked at Seph.
"Hey, what happened to your face?" Tseng demanded.
"What are you talking about?" Seph asked, hands flying to his face.
"The footprint, it's gone. How can it be gone already?" Tseng questioned.
"Mako. It helps us heal faster. I thought you knew that," Seph replied calmly.
Before Tseng could voice his thoughts on the unfairness of it, Rufus walked up.
"Tseng, could you kindly escort me back to my office?"
"Of course sir. I'll see you later Seph," Tseng said as he stood to walk to with Rufus.
"Of course sir. I'll see you later Seph," Tseng said as he stood and walked off with Rufus.
Rod watched the two men make their way across the room. He still hadn't recovered from his time with the vice president. How could the future leader of ShinRa be such a lunatic?
"Hand me a bleach-pen," Rufus commanded, not looking up from his paperwork but holding a hand out expectantly.
"A what, sir?" Rod asked in surprise. This was the first time in over two hours he had been spoken to.
"A bleach-pen," Rufus snapped, shaking his hand impatiently.
Rod stared at the blond in confusion, what the hell was a bleach-pen?
"I-I'm sorry, sir, but I don't know what you're talking about," Rod said.
Rufus' head shot up, a look of panic crossing his face.
"You mean you don't have a bleach-pen?" he asked slowly.
"No sir," Rod answered, wondering what was so important about some pen.
"No. You have to have one! Tseng always has one in case I get something on my jacket!" Rufus said, his voice rising with every word. Rod just stood there staring.
"I don't see anything on your jacket, sir. I'm sure it's fine," Rod said, trying to soothe the agitated man.
"Fine? You call this fine?" Rufus asked, pointing at a small blue dot on the cuff of his sleeve.
"Uh…yes?" Rod nervously answered.
Obviously that had been the wrong answer because Rufus stood up and began yelling at Rod about the importance of cleanliness. After a ten minute speech on that, he had heard a lecture on how Tseng was always prepared for this kind of thing.
"Figures Tseng would find someone as neurotic as himself," Rod mumbled as he watched his boss brush some lint off of Rufus.
Just as they were about to walk through the doors, Hojo rushed in and almost hit Rufus. Tseng pulled the vice president out of harms way and quickly checked him over. Satisfied that his charge was fine, they left the lunchroom.
Rod shook his head and went back to his food, only somewhat aware of the disturbance in the lunch line.
Hojo rushed into the lunch room, not even noticing who it was that he had almost hit. Probably no one of importance anyway. He spotted his targets and made his way over to the lunch line.
He pushed past someone that looked vaguely familiar to get to the spot where Reno and Zack were standing.
"You boys haven't been to my lab to make your appointments," Hojo said, ignoring the complaints of the employees he had shoved aside. Idiots, didn't they know they were standing in the way of science?
Reno and Zack stared blankly at him, trying to come up with a good excuse for not coming to see the mad man.
"Umm…we've been…you see…uh," Zack said, desperately trying to get themselves out of the situation.
"We haven't come to see you because…Valentine and Holt said they would take our spots!" Reno said, proud that he had both saved them and screwed over Vincent and Holt at the same time.
"Valentine and Holt?" Zack asked, wondering when that had happened.
"Yeah, remember? They said they owed us and offered to go see Hojo for us," Reno said, wishing his friend was a little quicker on the uptake.
"Oh…right," Zack nodded.
"Well, I suppose they'll do. At least I still get a SOLDIER and a Turk. Though I'll have to rethink my tests. Valentine has always interested me…" Hojo continued talking as he walked away.
He barely noticed the looks he was getting from the people in line.
Reeve watched in growing annoyance as Hojo shoved his way into the line and started talking to Zack and Reno. Did that man think he could whatever he wanted?
Reeve was already having a bad day, and now this arrogant idiot thought he could just push Reeve out of the way?
Finally Hojo left and Reeve reclaimed his spot in line.
"Whatcha want?" Reno asked, not even looking at who he was serving. That was it, the last straw. Reeve couldn't take it any longer; everyone treated him like some lowlife.
"What do I want? I want some respect!" Reeve yelled at a surprised Reno. "I want people to treat me like the executive I am. I'm tired of everyone shoving me to the side."
"Whoa, man. I just wanted to know if you wanted the peas or carrots," Reno said, holding his hands up.
"Of course you do. Nobody ever wants to know what I'm thinking or feeling. They only want to know what concerns them," Reeve snipped, not caring that people were backing away from him.
"We're just supposed to serve the food," Zack said, wondering what had caused the usually calm man to explode like this.
"And I'm just supposed to take this treatment? Well, I'm not going to stand for this anymore! We'll see how people feel when I'm not around to be abused. Over the last ten years of working here I've been kicked, spit on, pushed down stairs, and nobody even knows my full name!"
"Tootsie, right?" Reno asked.
"It's not Tootsie, you idiot. It's Tuesday," Zack said, rolling his eyes.
"You sure? I could've sworn in was Tootsie," Reno said thoughtfully.
"You're thinking about tootsie rolls. His last name is Tuesday," Zack stated.
"You're both wrong. See what I mean?" Reeve growled. "And I bet you don't even know what I do here!"
Reno and Zack looked at each other in shock.
"You work here? We thought you just hung around or something," Reno said, scratching his head.
"Or that you were married to somebody who worked here," Zack said. "What do you do?"
Reeve slammed his tray down and walked away muttering something about not getting any respect.
Zack and Reno watched Reeve walk away.
"His last name is so not Tuesday, man. It's Tootsie," Reno turned back to the people standing in line. There weren't many, as most had left during Reeve's tantrum.
"It may not be Tuesday, but it's not Tootsie either," Zack said, shaking his head.
"How do you know? It's not like you know his name," Reno said, giving the last person a scoop of peas.
"I just do, okay? Does he look like his name is Reeve Tootsie?" Zack asked, starting to clean up.
"Well, no. But who's to say…what are you doing?!" Reno yelled.
"What does it look like? I'm cleaning up," Zack answered.
"I know you're cleaning up, but why are you holding my ladle?" Reno asked, reaching for said ladle.
"Your ladle? I didn't know we had assigned ladles. And even if we did, how do you know this is yours?" Zack asked.
"I just do, okay? Now give it back," Reno tried to grab it.
"No," Zack moved out of the way. "What's so great about this one?"
"It's mine, that's what's so great about it," Reno said, eyeing the distance between himself and Zack.
Before Zack could respond, Reno jumped at him and they went crashing to the ground.
"Ow! You just bit me!" Zack yelled, holding his arm.
"Yeah, and you don't taste like chicken," Reno snapped, grunting as an elbow hit him in the stomach.
"Get off! What's wrong with you?" Zack kicked his leg in an attempt to dislodge Reno's grip around his knee.
"What's wrong is that you have my ladle!" Reno let go of Zack's leg and grabbed for his arms instead.
"I swear all of you Turks are crazy," Zack panted, trying to crawl away from Reno.
"Turks are crazy? You're one to talk, mako-boy," Reno said, tackling Zack before he got too far.
"That's real mature, man," Zack bit out, trying to break Reno's grip around his middle.
"Just give me the damn ladle!" Reno yelled as Zack slipped out of his grip.
"Tell me what's so special about it and I will," Zack said, standing up and turning to run.
"I don't need to tell you anything! Just give me the ladle!" Reno sprinted after Zack, trying to reach him before he got out of the cafeteria.
"I'll give you the ladle when you tell me what I want to know!" Zack pushed through the doors, closely followed by Reno.
Cloud watched as Reno and Zack ran down the hall, yelling something about a ladle. He watched as they rounded a corner and winced when he heard a thud. It sounded a lot like a body hitting a wall.
Deciding it would be best to ignore the yells coming from down the hall, he walked off. He had a class to get to and really didn't want to get pulled into another fight between the friends.
A/N: Friends, huh? They don't seem like it with how often they fight. And why is that ladle so special to Reno? I'm afraid we'll never know. We refuse to do a sequel because it would ruin this masterpiece. No matter how much it kills us, this is the end.
We thank you all so much for sticking with it and reviewing. You guys kept us going with your sucking up and what-not. And for those of you that are reading this after it has been completed...feel free to review anyway. Thanks again! BYE!!!