a/n: wow, that was weird. This story I'm about to write was actually the dream I had last night. Yeah, it gives you a weird insight into Nanda's crazy subconscious, huh?

I guess I should be grateful that I don't talk in my sleep…

Please excuse mistakes or weird issues. I wrote this as soon as I woke up and didn't go back through to edit much. gomenasai! lol.

Warning: This is a smut story and it is slash, so if you have a problem with either…. Bye, Bye! grin

Summary: Remus wakes from a dream and goes to Sirius' old room, where he finds more than just memories. Set after ootp, in the summer before HBP. RL/HP. Enjoy!

Memories

A triumphant cry made him turn from Dumbledore who was rounding up the rest of the Death Eaters. He spun around quickly and his breath caught in his throat. Sirius looked as if he was falling in slow motion. He let out a strangled cry and stepped towards the dais as Sirius fell through the veil.

"No." His ears rang for a moment and then a voice yelled.

"SIRIUS!" It cried. "SIRIUS!" He turned to see Harry running down the steps of the chamber. He saw his path and stepped forward. As Harry hit the floor, he grabbed the boy around the chest, holding him back.

"There's nothing you can do, Harry-." He heard himself say.

"Get him, save him, he's only just gone through!"

"It's too late, Harry-."

"We can still reach him-."

"There's nothing you can do, Harry…nothing…He's gone."

Remus gasped, sitting up swiftly to semi-darkness. His breathing seemed extra loud in the small room. He slowly wiped cold sweat off of his forehead. He sighed, and fell back onto the bed.

"Sirius…" He whispered to the empty room. He still couldn't believe that he was gone, his best friend. His lover. He sat up again, swinging his legs off the edge of the bed.

He glanced at his bedside table and winced, his dark eyes full of pain. He was looking at a picture. One taken at James and Lily's wedding, of Sirius and himself.

Sirius had his arms thrown around Remus. He was kissing him on the cheek while Remus tried to shove him away, laughing. Remus reached out and ran a finger down the edge of the frame watching himself struggle half-heartedly against Sirius.

Remus sighed and looked at the clock. It was 12:30, nobody would be up to see him wandering around.

He stood up and walked silently out of his room, not even bothering to put a shirt on over his bare chest.

Remus made his way silently through the dark house, walking down several dark halls. He silently wondered for the millionth time why Sirius had chosen a room so far in the back of house, away from everybody else. The walls and silencing spells were more than enough to keep night noises contained.

Again, for the millionth time, he wondered why Sirius had decided to lead such a secluded life, especially after Azkaban.

He sighed as he rounded a corner, and stopped. He stared at the door to Sirius' room at the end of the hall. It was ajar.

He stepped up to it silently, pushing it forward slowly. The moonlight drifting through the window barely did anything to dispel the shadows in the room. Although it did illuminate the bed and the lone figure in it.

Remus choked back a gasp. Sirius… He stepped into the room swiftly, almost to the bed. He had to be dreaming. Then he noticed that the individual was shaking slightly; he heard soft sobs.

"Sirius?" He murmured softly. The figure gasped and sat up, the blanket covering his body falling off, revealing a pale back. Then a tearstained face turned to Remus.

"Harry?" Remus stepped forward slightly.

"Lupin?" Harry stared at him for a moment before turning away to hurriedly wipe his face and pull the blanket back over his bare shoulders. Remus was hit with a sudden wave of compassion for the younger boy. He moved to the bed and sat down swiftly.

He softly put a hand on Harry's back. Harry winced slightly.

"Are you okay Harry?" The younger boy turned back to him, his face still wet with tears. Remus stared at the boy for a long moment.

"Remus?" He barely registered the loss of his surname. He was caught up in the expression on Harry's face and his dark hair (so much like Sirius'), in Sirius' room…

Caught up in his moment of reverie, Remus pressed his lips against the younger boy's. Harry made no attempt to move away or stop him.

Instead, he leaned into the kiss, opening his mouth slightly to allow Remus access. Remus took the invitation, letting his tongue enter Harry's mouth to taste him. Then, his mind caught up with him and he released his lips. Not remembering when he had put his hands on Harry's waist, he let go, leaning away from him.

He looked at the boy, who stared back, looking slightly hurt. Remus shook his head.

"What are you doing in here?" He asked, not unkindly. Harry shrugged softly without taking his eyes off of Remus'.

"I couldn't sleep so I came in here." He looked down. "I used to, err…" Remus furrowed his brow.

"What, Harry?" Harry turned his face away slightly.

"I used to come in here when I couldn't sleep before…" A fresh look of pain fell across Harry's face. Remus knew very well what he meant. Before, before he was gone.

Then another realization hit him. Harry had spent the night, nights, with Sirius? Now he found something he had in common with Harry's grief; not only was he missing a loyal friend, but also, a lover. He tried to catch Harry's eyes.

"You and Sirius?" He asked softly. Harry nodded with his eyes downcast.

Remus was silent for a long moment then, without knowing exactly why he did it, he softly lifted Harry's chin.
With the slow tenderness that Sirius had always shown him, he kissed Harry. This time, Harry's eyes opened in shock but, again, he did not break away from the kiss.
Slowly, he tilted his head to the side a small bit and opened his mouth. This time, letting his own tongue taste Remus' lips and, after he parted his lips, his mouth.

Harry raised his hands to Remus' chest and the blanket fell off again, leaving him in his boxers. The younger boy then left Remus' lips to softly kiss his chest. Remus sighed, leaning back slightly in response.
Suddenly, his conscience caught up with him; He gasped and grabbed Harry's hands, pushing the boy backwards softly as he straightened.

Harry looked up at him, a confused expression on his face.

"Remus?" he began. Remus took a deep breath as emotions fought inside his head, each one trying to gain ground. He finally sighed softly. Harry was sixteen and more than capable of making his own decisions. He looked down at he younger boy and caught his eyes. He saw the desire there and leaned down again, capturing his lips.

Harry gasped happily, kissing Remus back hungrily.

Remus was barely aware of the younger boy's lips releasing his own and moving downwards again to kiss his chest. He leaned back slightly and gasped when something brushed against his growing erection. He looked down to find Harry, his fingertips on the front of Remus' pajama bottoms.

He pulled Harry up slightly and, in one swift moment, he was kneeling behind Harry. Harry gasped and sat up on his knees, pressing his back against Remus' chest.
Remus groaned softly and leaned over the edge of the bed and the drawer of the bedside table. He pulled out a small bottle that was always kept there and straightened slightly.

Gently, he reached forward and grabbed Harry's hips. Slowly, he pulled down Harry's boxers, making Harry gasp.
Remus ran a finger tenderly down Harry's bare back. Harry shivered slightly, a small moan escaping his lips.

Remus then pulled down his own pants, revealing his erect member to the cool air of the chamber. He paused for a moment then opened the bottle and poured a small amount into his hand. He then reached down and covered his member with it, gasping at the magically enhanced sensation.

He then pulled Harry's hips up slightly. He gripped his own member softly and positioned himself.

He hesitated for a long moment before thrusting his hips forward. The charm on the lubricant was created for a pain-free entrance and worked as such. Harry gasped appreciatively and sat up straight on his knees, his head coming to Remus' chest.
Remus paused for a second then began to move his hips again, one hand on Harry's waist. His other hand found his way to Harry's own stiff member and gripped it softly, moving with Remus' hips. Harry moaned loudly, the sound reverberating off of the silencing charms that were still in place.
Remus echoed him, plunging himself deeper into the younger boy. Harry turned his head and Remus automatically leaned forward slightly, kissing him.

When Remus gasped because he thrust his hips back slightly, Harry left his lips to kiss his neck, softly sucking on the hollow.

The werewolf moaned and thrust a little harder.

"Ahh." Harry moaned into his neck and Remus confined his lips again in a kiss. Remus then moved his lips to the back of Harry's neck, licking and sucking softly. Harry softly reached up and gripped Remus' dark hair.

Both of their bodies now glistened with sweat as they continued. Remus could feel the pressure building inside himself and moved with more rigidity. Harry must have felt the same because his breathing became gasps and he pressed himself more firmly against Remus.

The feeling intensified with each second, making both of them give gasping moans. The sensation suddenly rose rapidly and burst. Remus made one final thrust and came, causing a domino effect through Harry.

And as both of their orgasms tore through them, wave after pleasurable wave, they both cried their lover's name. The word echoed through the room.

"Sirius." ah

Thank you for reading, I read the death of Sirius while rereading OOTP before going to bed last night, so maybe that is why I dreamt that

Hmm… My characters are OOC… whatever, it's 7 a.m. and time for breakfast! lol.

OH, before I forget! I finally got a myspace and I would be happy to be friends with any of my readers or fellow writers if you have a myspace. You can find me under Nanda Kawaii or Haveyouseenmytoastyahoo. Arigato!

p.s. that way I can keep everyone up to date with updates and get challenges! WOOT!