Author's note: Bella's change was hard to describe…let me know if I did a satisfactory job

R&R…thanks to my reviewers you guys keep me going!!

Disclaimer: I only own the telling of this story.

My hands trembled as I nestled Bella's body closer into mine. Her skin scorched, filled with the fire of the venom. She had been worryingly silent. Every once in a while she would shudder and I would adjust her even closer into me.

How could I have let this happen? What kind of monster was I? To put her through this…

But would I have been able to watch her die? Would I have been able to witness her soul departing forever? The thought punched a hole through me that made me forcibly exhale. No. I could never have let her leave…let alone watch…


I remembered once when I was little that Renee took me to one of her friend's houses. She had a pool in the backyard. I was eager to get in because I had never really felt the coolness of pool water all around me before…so I began to pull on my mother's dress to get me a bathing suit so that I could go swimming.

She got me one and was pulling swimmies onto my arms when one just wouldn't fit. She went back inside to find another…but I couldn't wait to get into the pool, I was sitting down to dip my feet in when I slipped.

My heart beat heavily in my chest and I held my breath as tightly as I could as the water closed over my head. My arms floundered as I tried to pull the water above me beneath my legs. I cried out underwater as my chest gasped in a lung full of water. I thrust my arms towards the surface and tried with all my might to climb out of the consuming body.

The water was much colder than it had seemed.

And soon enough the struggle tired my muscles to a point of replete exhaustion. I let my arms fall to my sides and floated in the freezing fluidity around me. Small air bubbles tickled the tip of my nose as they escaped to the surface. Suddenly a tense arm wrapped around my middle and towed me to the surface.

This was all I could think of to compare the blaze that surrounded me now. The torch ignited everything it touched. I held my breath for as long as possible for every time I inhaled, my lungs drown in fire.

The heat came from inside. I had felt this before…this torturous lick of flame against the walls of my veins. But when? Why couldn't I remember? Wouldn't I remember a pain like this?

My shoulder blades pinched together as a scream crawled through my teeth. But like an underwater scream…it was silent. The flames had scorched my throat raw. I wouldn't have been able to make a sound even if I had wanted to.

I felt the fever tingling over my face. I reached my arms up to stop the burn, to block the overwhelming heat. But it did nothing…like only one swimmy…I was drowning in this pool of sweltering consumption.

What was happening to me? What was this? Maybe I had ended up in Hell after all.

And then an angelic whisper blew against the side of my head. It felt cool in the cave of my ear. The sound vibrated soothingly through my mind.


"Mmm." A hum was all that escaped in response.

"Are you alright?" The voice seemed fuzzy, like it had to travel through a dense fog to reach me…or smoke…thick smoke.The poor thing sounded so scared. I was hot. But I liked when it talked to me. I opened my mouth to tell it to keep talking but again…silence.

A vicious jab of fire made me throw my arms out onto whatever was beneath me and desperately clasp my hands around it.

"Carlisle, fix this! Help her!"

Help? Yes. Help please. Dive in. Grab me. Help me. Save me. Or let me drown. I can't breathe. I can't reach the surface. Why wasn't I gone by now?

"Edward, there's nothing I can do. Just let the venom run its course." A hurt sigh fell from the wonderful thing next to me.


I had never hated myself as much as when Bella's face contorted in sheer pain.

The first day had passed with a lot of physical movement. She would thrash around like she was drowning…and then grow too exhausted to continue.

We had driven into Flagstaff and gotten four rooms at a hotel. We wanted to put the nearest neighbors as far from us as possible in case Bella screamed or made any other disconcerting noise.

I couldn't bear the fact that I had caused this. Not only had I caused this unbearable pain, I couldn't stop it. She lay in front of me ripping through the air above her…trying to escape the inferno inside of her. But I could do nothing…just observe.

Every yank of her muscles and every slow of her heartbeat stung me as much as it did her. I felt her pain because my soul was woven into her sinew. Every subtraction of warmth from Bella's skin beat on my soul. I could read the pain as it tweaked across her flawless features. That pain was so brutal…all I wanted to do was take it from her completely.

The venom seemed to spread quickly and then drag the temperature within her from hot to scalding in a matter of milliseconds. I remembered that pain, the pain that could only be described as the fires of Satan himself.

I felt helpless. I was helpless to ease the horrid pain plaguing my angel. Bella was suffering at the hands of the fallen angel and all I could do was lay here and watch.

There was a bitter bite deep within my frozen heart that shoved the breath I had been encasing into the air. But it came more as a yell.

"Edward?" Jasper's calm voice punctured the tension that was looming above me.


"I'm sorry to intrude, but I felt something weird coming from her and I thought you might be able to help her."

Help? Help her?

"What is it Jasper?"

"I'm not sure exactly what it is, but it's like she's searching for something, she calmed for a moment before you yelled to Carlisle…and then she became just as tense as before. Did you say something to her? Or hold her or something?"

Yeah, I had said something…and she responded? I lay down onto my elbow and leaned my lips close to Bella's ear.

"Bella? Can you hear me?" She minimally relaxed the tight grip she had on the bed sheets.

"Yep, that was it." Jasper smiled slightly and disappeared silently back into the other room.

"I love you Bella Swan." I allowed the tips of my fingers to graze the skin of her cheeks. Her skin was noticeably cooler.

"I'm here Bella. I'll be here, right here, next to you, forever."

My eyes blurred a little and as I blinked a vision, unlike any I had ever seen Alice have, crowded my mind. But I just assumed it was Alice again, it had to be.

Bella (a vampire Bella) ran ahead of me back in the woods of Forks. She turned back to me and a brilliant smile filled her mouth. My heart fluttered and I chased after her…desperate to catch her and hold her…to kiss those lips.

I opened my eyes as I heard the door open. It was Alice.

I smiled at her. "I liked that one."

"That one what Edward?"

"That vision, I liked it."

"Edward I haven't had any visions." I stared at her quizzically.

"Edward, I haven't had a vision since I saw Emmett change Bella." Speaking of Emmett I hadn't heard anything from him since we got here. Which I had to admit was a slight relief since his constant psychological apologies had gotten bothersome in the car.

"Where is Emmett?"

"He left to take a walk a while ago. He feels terrible." I nodded slowly.

But if Alice hadn't had any visions…then what whose vision had that been? I certainly couldn't read Bella's mind…and I didn't know of any other clairvoyant vampires nearby.

I glanced down at Bella. Her expression seemed a little more tranquil. Alice crept out of the room.

I leaned closer into Bella's face and pecked her swollen lips.

Whose thought had that vision been? Was it mine? I had never been much of a daydreamer…

Bella was the only deep dreamer I had ever known…

Author's note: let me know what you think!