Yosh, and now what you've all been waiting for! The great Captain Usopp-sama! Today, my friends, I am to tell you about an old tale that has been lost mysteriously for decades but most recently was found on an even more mysterious island in this Grand Line…
The story of… The Beauty and the Swordsman! Once upon a time there lived a very famous prince in a country so distant that no one around here knows of its true name. The prince didn't have the best of characteristics; in fact, he was kind of like a grumpy and lazy good-for-nothing. The name of the prince was Zoro. One rainy night, an okama knocked on the big doors to the castle…
"Heeeello! Can you please give little me somewhere to stay just this chilly rainy night? Pleaaaase, I can dance for you!" The okama Bon Clay said while blowing a kiss towards prince Zoro.
Once upon a time there lived a very famous prince in a country so distant that no one around here knows of its true name. The prince didn't have the best of characteristics; in fact, he was kind of like a grumpy and lazy good-for-nothing. The name of the prince was Zoro.
One rainy night, an okama knocked on the big doors to the castle…
The grumpy, lazy and evil prince then just shut the door right at the okamas face.
"That was creepy…" Zoro said while looking somewhat uncomfortable.
The next night someone knocked on the doors again.
"Greetings, may I shelter myself from the rain here for this night?" the man in the black coat said and raised his head and met Zoro's eyes with a powerful stare from two sharp and golden eyes, eyes who were like those of a hawk's.
"Ah… Eh… Y- yes…" Zoro managed to say, still captured by that sharp stare from those golden eyes.
Suddenly the mysterious man moved his left hand and touched his own cheek. Then suddenly the okama from yesterday was yet again standing in front of him.
"Ah! How can you be so heartless and vain! Don't you know! People are……. HEART!" The okama Bon Clay said while striking a dramatic pose.
Prince Zoro felt too shocked and "What the hell?" to say anything.
"Then, little me, will put a curse on you~! You will become a feared vampire and never be able to walk outside these castle yards again! This entire castle will be cursed by little meeee! And you will never EVER be able to change the colour of your haaaaaaaaaair!" The okama said and then danced away into the rain.
"Ah.. Oi! Wait!" Zoro shouted and tried to run after him when he suddenly felt a bit strange and leaned against the wall.
He could feel fangs growing out, it wasn't a pleasant feeling, and that night an angry cry could be heard all over the area. But soon, the existence of prince Zoro became only a legend among others as the years passed. Meanwhile there was a small, unknown and quiet village close by. In it lived only normal and simple people… or, there was a girl who was a bit special. She loved reading above everything, which was very unusual for a girl of that time. She would always walk around while reading a book, almost getting hit by carriages and walking into people, but only almost…
Besides being clever, she was also very beautiful and very mysterious. The name of that girl was… Nico Robin.
But soon, the existence of prince Zoro became only a legend among others as the years passed.
Meanwhile there was a small, unknown and quiet village close by. In it lived only normal and simple people… or, there was a girl who was a bit special. She loved reading above everything, which was very unusual for a girl of that time. She would always walk around while reading a book, almost getting hit by carriages and walking into people, but only almost…
"Really, a girl in her springtime of youth shouldn't care so much about those silly books. That is sooo weird" Ms Valentine said when she saw Robin pass by her lemon stand.
"Iyaaah, I know! It's like she thinks that she's so much above us" Porche said while pouting and put down some lemons in a bag and gave it to a customer.
Robin chose to ignore what she just heard about herself.
"Those people know nothing. Nothing about the charms of reading! The only thing that can be compared to the wonder of books is the wonder of well-made coffee." Robin thought as she entered the coffee shop.
"Hello my lovely Robin-chwan! How may I help you this lovely day!" The owner to the coffee shop, Sanji, said immediately when Robin entered the shop.
"Just the usual" Robin said with a mysterious smile.
"Yeeees! Robin-chwaaan! 3!" Sanji answered and almost flew away to get what Robin wished for.
Yes, Nico Robin still luckily had a friend or two. Even though the coffee shop owner Sanji, of course, was the friend of ALL women. Unfortunately there was another person who also really liked Nico Robin…
Robin looked up from her book with a bit irritated look when someone blocked her way.
"Nico Robin" a too familiar voice said.
"Rob Lucchi" Robin answered and closed her book after, of course, taking note of the page number first.
Five minutes passed with the two simply glaring at each other and emitting dark and threatening auras.
"Ptroo prooo, will you marry me? Ptrooo" Hattori said while holding up an empty marriage certificate with his wing in front of Robin.
"Rejected" Robin said and walked past Lucchi and opened her book yet again.
"…." Lucchi looked after her.
"Ptrooo! I won't give up! No, since I always get what I want!" Hattori said and fixed his tie a bit.
Yes, the psychotic Rob Lucchi! A very cruel and evil man! And he was after the poor beautiful Nico Robin. And if you think about it, it's truly unfair! Right? Two against one if you count his pet pigeon Hattori, I mean. Well, luckily Nico Robin had support from her loving father at home. He'd never let Nico Robin marry like that, ah, yes, truly a loving home. How lucky to have such a father
Robin entered the underground base.
"Yes" Robin put her book together.
"So? Have you found out anything about the ancient weapon yet?" Crocodile said and turned around in the very mafia-boss-like armchair.
"No, I'm working on it. But I might need some more… funds to buy the books I need" Robin said with a mysterious smile.
Crocodile removed the cigar he was smoking and blew out some smoke.
This woman… She was getting expensive. Even the mafia didn't have all the money in the world. She probably bought books for a total cost of over 1000$ every week. Yes, but as the godfather of the mafia, he needed her. For the sake of that weapon…
Crocodile started thinking while he watched Robin put down her book in one of the 300 book piles in the gigantic underground room.
It would be good if he could get someone else to sponsor her but still could reach her whenever he needed her.
"Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah" the laughter made Robin turn her head and glance at Crocodile.
"What?" she asked.
"No, nothing" Crocodile said and smiled a very suspicious conspiring smile.
He had gotten a great idea…
When the young beautiful maiden Nico Robin slept, her dear loving father left the house with one last look at her. Then he went out in a fierce sand storm!
He headed towards the forbidden forest that was said to be the home of the cursed prince from the old legend. Ah, but in his mind was only the thought of his daughter's happiness that his money couldn't (wouldn't) buy.
"Hey! Zoro! Why the hell am I supposed to clean! With my beautiful hands!" Nami shouted angrily at prince Zoro.
"Well since the other maids fled for 200-300 years ago, you're the only woman left" Zoro said with a bored face expression.
"What the hell! Then let me ask! Just who owns money to whom here!" Nami shouted and poked Zoro with the broom.
"Nishishishishi! She got you there Zoro!" Luffy laughed while eating all the food on the large table in the grand dining room.
"Are you still going on about that! I returned the money immediately after I borrowed them…" Zoro said with a very irritated glare at Nami.
"Hmmm, but you still borrowed them on my conditions. And that was 320 years ago, so together with the interest that becomes a total of… 100000000000000000000000000$" Nami said with a smirk.
"What? All those zeros? You… you witch" Zoro said angrily.
"Don't fight, it's not very healthy to shout so much while eating" Chopper said in a concerned tone but was ignored.
Suddenly a loud crash was heard as the big dining hall windows broke. Prince Zoro turned his head as the cold autumn wind blew through the dining room. Who dared to disturb them in their cursed situations?
"Look! A pile of sand!" Luffy said pointing while eating a piece of meat.
"Well I'm NOT cleaning it up" Nami said and angrily turned her head the other way.
"What's a pile of sand doing here!" Chopper asked while blinking.
"Who cares" Zoro said grumpily.
That moment, the mysterious pile of sand started to materialize into something else. The servant Nami turned her head and stared, servant Chopper hid behind prince Zoro, and servant Luffy stopped his eating… for a moment.
"Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah"
Zoro made a disliking face when the moment he heard the very irritating laughter.
"I have come to make business with you" Crocodile said after he had finished laughing.
"Not intere-" Zoro started but was interrupted.
"Business was it?" Nami said and held up her calculator, which technically wasn't invented yet.
"Young miss, I want you to take my "daughter" and keep her at the castle for a while. I'll pay you 1000$ directly for keeping her here for as long as I wish" Crocodile said with a smirk and held up a small bag with money.
"Deal!" Nami said and shook Crocodile's hand.
"Oi! Wait a minute!" Zoro shouted angrily.
"What? Is there a problem Zoro? Mr Can't-even-keep-an-honourable-promise-Zoro?" Nami said with a bored look at Zoro.
"You… You…" Zoro stood up.
"Yes, me?" Nami said with a raised eyebrow.
"You will burn in hell one day, you know!" Zoro said in a very upset tone and ran out of the dining hall.
And the loving father had no other choice than to hand over his dear daughter to the cursed castle. The father couldn't stand a tearful goodbye with his dear daughter and handed over her while she was still asleep.
You can imagine that the poor girl was shocked when she awoke…