Disclaimer – I do not own Twilight or New Moon. Stephenie Meyer does.
"Bella, just drop it! You are not, nor will you ever become a vampire!" I had tried very, very hard not to cry. Crying showed I was weak.
"And why not? Why? Damn it Edward! How long do you think we can do this? Really? How long until you and your family have to move? How long until you forget who I am?" I screamed at him with the tears flowing relentlessly down my flushed cheeks.
"Bella, I won't leave you. I promised you I would never leave you again." His topaz orbs were beseeching for me to see things his way. I was not going to give in.
"I can't stay with you as a human forever." I informed him in an acidic tone. A tortured expression made his face soften.
"Bella…" he pleaded.
"I want to go home."
"Please, try to understand, I love – " I cut him off by opening his bedroom door and storming out. He stood frozen in astonishment.
"Alice can you take me home?" I called to the pixie like vampire from the top of the massive staircase. She was already waiting by the front door with her keys. I wiped my tears away as I stomped down the stairs to add a dramatic ending to my performance.
We got into the Mercedes. It was one of the rare sunny days in Forks and she needed the cover of the dark tinted windows. We didn't speak until we were on the highway. I was angry and needed to vent. "He's not being fair."
"I know." Alice agreed.
I loved Alice. She was the closest thing to a sister I had ever had. She also agreed that I should join her family. Even she was angry at Carlisle, who still hadn't changed me even though I graduated two weeks ago. He favored Edward too much to go against his wishes. And Edward was being more unreasonable than I could've ever imagined. As soon as I had accepted his marriage proposal, he took his offer away. That's what started our fight today.
"Alice, I can't do this anymore." She was silent for a minute, trying to compose a good response.
"Bella, don't give up. Please, it will all work out. You'll see." She flashed me one of her beautiful smiles.
"You don't know that." I muttered sourly. Her smile was replaced by a frown. She must have thought I didn't trust her visions. "I didn't mean it like that. It's just, I don't want to lose him again, and I don't see how we can stay together when he's…and I'm…" my voice was just a whisper now.
"He's wont leave you again, he promised. And Bella, he loves you." Alice reminded me.
"Alice, he may be able to stay with me, but I… I'm not sure how long I can take this." Alice's eyes widen as the idea of me leaving her brother processed in her mind. "I don't want to but I…" I couldn't really put it in words. Frustrated, I let out a deep sigh.
The exit to La Push came into view and I decided then that I wanted to talk to Jacob. No, I needed to talk to Jacob.
"Alice, can you take me to Jacobs?"
"You know I can't go to La Push silly."
"I know, just drop me off as close as you can. I'll walk the rest." I assured her. She took her eyes off the road, eyeing me suspiciously – but she turned at the exit to La Push without questioning me.
I hadn't seen or spoke to Jacob since the motorcycle incident. I had been far beyond furious with him, and I could only imagine that he wasn't very pleased with my decision to join his enemies. He had called me dozens of times though, so I probably wasn't mad at me.
I missed Jacob, and right now, I needed him. I needed him to comfort me. I wouldn't be able to say anything about becoming a vampire – he would surely try to talk me out of it, and would be angry when I refused – but his blissful presence was all that would be required. I couldn't think of anything more comforting at this moment than his wide smile, heavy laughter and warm touch.
Alice stopped the car only yards away from the sign that read "Welcome to La Push," in a fading blue.
I opened the door saying "Thanks Alice," as I stepped out.
"See ya later Bells. We should go shopping this weekend." She suggested enthusiastically. I knew she was trying to cheer me up, but I couldn't stop the grimace that my face twisted into. "Or the movies or something." She altered her proposition, finally catching onto my distaste for shopping.
"Yeah, sure, I'll call you." I put on the best smile I could considering my dismal mood, and closed the door. I began walking in the direction of Jacob's house. I heard the Mercedes make a quiet U-turn on the narrow road.
The sun was out, but was occasionally covered by clusters of heavy white clouds. It was warm, but much too muggy for my taste. The wind played with my hair, irritatingly blowing it in my face. I tripped several times, letting out low profanities while I picked myself up.
When I reached his small box-shaped house, I hesitated before knocking. I stood in front of the doorway on the small porch with my hand raised to knock for several minutes. I took a deep breath to build up the courage to knock, and banged my fist gently on the wooden door.
I waited, but no one came. I figured that no one was home – Billy was probably fishing, and Jacob was most likely with the pack. I turned around to walk home when I heard the door creak open. "Bella?"
I turned back to face Jacob whose expression was tender. I hadn't realized how much I had really missed him, but all of a sudden I jumped up into his arms and wrapped my legs around him. "I missed you so much Jake." I whispered in his ear and let his warmth placate me.
"I missed you too Bells." He whispered back. Jacob held onto me for a while before setting me down. I looked up at his face and his nose was wrinkled uncomfortably. "Uhh Bella? Would you mind taking a shower? You smell like them."
"Oh, sorry." I mumbled. He opened the door for me and let me in.
"I'll get you a towel." He left me in his tiny kitchen to get me a towel. I hadn't been here in a long time, but everything was still familiar. His house would be permanently engraved in my mind from all the time I had spent here when Edward was gone.
"Here…" he handed me a towel and a pair of his sweatpants and a t-shirts. I rolled my eyes at him and he looked embarrassed for making me do this.
"I'll be in the living room when you're out."
"Okay." And then we parted – he went into the minuscule living room and I headed down the short hallway to the bathroom.
The bathroom was small, and slightly claustrophobic. It held only the necessary – a small bath, toilet (which had the seat up), and a sink with a mirror above it.
I started the shower and allowed it to heat up while I got undressed.
There wasn't any women's shampoo, so I just rinsed my hair in water. The shower was short – the hot water ran out – but it helped me clear my head a little.
When I got out I towel-dried my hair and put on Jacobs huge clothes. I walked into the living room where Jacob was watching television. He was sprawled on the floor and took up nearly the entire room. "Umm, were should I put these?"
"Could you leave them out on the porch?" He asked uninterested. His thoughts seemed to be on something other than the television or myself. I nodded and threw my clothes on a rocking chair that leisured on the diminutive porch.
When I walked back into the living room I laid next to Jacob and he cocked his head and arched a brow. He looked surprised but pleased. I didn't answer his unasked question; I simply placed my head on his chest. He wrapped his arm around me comfortingly. He was so warm.
We laid there like that for a while and I didn't think of Edward once. Sometimes, Jacob could be so good for me. Jake still had that same expression he had on earlier – like he was thinking.
"Bella?" Jacob didn't move when he spoke, and neither did I.
"Why did you come here today? I mean why did you come here after you where with the… Cullens?" Of course he had been thinking about Edward. I should've figured that out hours ago.
"I sorta got in a fight with Edward." I admitted unwillingly. I answered only because I felt obliged to; if I weren't here with Jacob, I would probably be at my house crying.
I heard Jacob snarl. "Why, because the stupid leech won't change you?" he assumed bitterly.
"Jacob, I don't want to talk about it."
I could tell Jacob tried very hard to take the sharpness out of his tone. "Bella, I don't understand. He's never going to change you. And even if he would, why would you want to become one of them?" The painful words caused the long-gone hole in my chest to burn at the edges as I realized he was right – Edward might never change me.
"I-it's not like th- " I was stopped short. Jacob had rolled over and was now laying gently on top of me. His dark eyes stared deep into mine. Jacob Black dazzled me.