Disclaimer: "The Pretender" and its characters don't belong to me they belong to TNT and NBC and are being used without permission. Please don't sue because I have no money.
Just a short piece of what Miss Parker feels and thinks.
She stood regally by the window looking out into the ocean. She had on a red blouse, black skirt and black high heel boots. Her hair was well groomed and not a hair out of place. On her desk was a file of the latest findings of Jarod's last lair. She hadn't finished the file yet, but she couldn't bring herself to finish it yet. Her whole life she had lived by the ocean, but had yet to go down by the water.
A tear rolled down her face. She wasn't afraid that someone would see her because she had already swept the room for any bugs and she had locked the door. She wiped it away and another followed it. She felt trapped and alone sometimes. Trapped inside the Centre, trapped to live a lie and trapped to live a dismal life.
She lived a lie because she herself lied to not only others, but to herself. What had drove her to this state? She really couldn't pinpoint when she had started feeling this way. Maybe it was because of what happened on Carthis. Jarod wasn't the only pretender she thought to herself. She too was a pretender. Not only because she was a red file, but also because she pretended everyday. She pretended to be an ice queen and not have feelings. She pretended not to care about Jarod, Sydney, or Broots. She pretended to not care about what was happening around her inside the Centre.
She was so good at pretending these things, but she didn't want to pretend anymore. She had feelings; she wasn't the ice queen that everyone thought she was. She cared more for Sydney, Jarod and Broots even if they think she doesn't. Sydney because he was a father figure. He was more of a father to her than her own father ever was. She cared for Broots like a brother she wished she had instead of Lyle. And yes she did care for Jarod for a friend and something more after that almost kiss that they had shared at Ocee's place.
She wished for the day that she wouldn't have pretend, or lie to herself anymore. She turned from the window as she wiped the last tear away and walked to the desk and sat down opening the folder to finish the report.