Ok, this is my first attempt at a humor story, so please no flames. :) I got this idea in my head and thought it was quite funny, but that doesn't mean that when I write it out it will still be funny….
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Mission: Make Sasuke Smile!
Naruto had thought about many things, but he had never really thought about this. Most of his thoughts had been occupied around Sakura and training, that he had never even considered thinking about this. But now that he had finally thought about it, he needed to know the answer.
"Sasuke, why do you never smile?" Naruto asked curiously.
His normally stoic teammate turned and gave him a surprised look. "Why do you want to know?"
"Because it's not normal! Everyone smiles Sasuke, but you don't!" He insisted.
"…I do sometimes. You've seen me."
"No, that's not smiling. That's smirking. There's a difference."
Sasuke gave him a weird look. "Whatever." He turned to leave.
"Hey, don't go! You have to answer me!" Naruto shouted at him.
"Why should I?" Sasuke sighed. The idiot will never stop bothering me. I might as well give him an answer. "I never smile, because I don't have a reason too."
Naruto nearly fell over. "Whaaat!? That's the stupidest answer that I've ever heard!"
Sasuke shrugged. "You asked for an answer, and I gave you one. I never said that you'd like it." He started to walk away. Then Naruto had an idea. Naruto had a wonderful, awful idea!
"Hey Sasuke, I bet I can make you smile!" Sasuke stopped in mid step.
"Are you challenging me?" He asked quietly.
"You bet! I'll get you to smile by the end of the day! If I can't, then I'll admit that you're better than me by every aspect. And if I win, then my reward is getting to make fun of you for smiling!" Naruto said, satisfied.
Sasuke considered it thoughtfully. Heh, if it will make the idiot admit that he's a total loser compared to me, then I might as well take it. This could be interesting… "Alright, I agree. You won't be able to make me smile though, so it will be fun for me to watch you try and fail."
"Alright! But don't you worry Sasuke; I won't be the one failing." He said confidently.
Sasuke sighed. Cocky loser. Might as well let him enjoy it for the time being. "Ok, starting now, you can try any approach to make me smile. I'll be walking around the village. Come find me when you think of something." With that said, he left Naruto alone to think.
As soon as Sasuke was out of sight, Naruto plopped down on a bench and sighed. "After that big speech I gave I don't even have an idea. Wow, I'm getting far."
After a few moments he suddenly snapped his fingers and shot up. "That's it! I'll ask my friends for advice! Haha I'm a genius!" He took off down the street to find someone he knew.
It hadn't been long until he had run into someone familiar. And this familiar someone just happened to be a certain perverted old man we all know. "Perverted hermit!" Naruto shouted.
"Ouch! Jeez Naruto, calm down!" Jiraiya rubbed his ears, irritated.
"Perverted hermit, I need your help!"
"What do you need help with, kid?"
"Ok, I made this bet with Sasuke…" Naruto explained everything to him while Jiraiya nodded.
"Ah, I see. So now you need to find out ways to make him smile?"
Naruto nodded eagerly. "Yeah, yeah! Do you have any ideas?"
Jiraiya got a sly look on his face. "Well Naruto, lucky for you I do have one. You see, what makes men really happy is women."
"Women?" Naruto questioned innocently.
"Yes, women. Why don't you go perform your Sexy no Jutsu on him?"
Sasuke doesn't like girls, he shoves Sakura and the others away like they're a disease. But if perverted hermit says so…. "Alright, I'll try it!"
The moment Naruto was out of earshot, Jiraiya sighed in relief. "Heh, he's actually gonna do it. If Sasuke is anything like Orochimaru, then he doesn't have a care for girls. Naruto is gonna get beat up really bad when he tries this trick. Ah well, it will keep him out of my hands for awhile." He smirked and strolled off to the women's bathhouse to do some more "research".
Naruto ran through the streets, scanning the crowds for Sasuke. It didn't take him long to find the sulking, spiky-haired boy off to the side. He snuck up behind him. "Sexy no jutsu!"
"Oh, Sasuke!" Said boy turned around to find a very cute, blonde pigtailed, naked girl. Sasuke merely stared at her/him. Heh heh, he's so enthralled by my cuteness that he's speechless! Perverted hermit was right! Naruto thought joyfully. He closed his eyes and snickered to himself. Any minute now, a humongous smile will spread on his face! Any minute now-HEY! He's turning away!
It was true. Sasuke was already walking away. "You're going to have to do a lot better than that, Naruto. I know that stupid grin anywhere. You can't fool me."
Naruto nearly fell over. "WHAAT!?" He undid the jutsu and frowned. "Hmm…I wonder why it didn't work…AHA! I know why!" He smiled triumphantly. "Maybe it's because I'm not really a girl. I know what to do!" He snickered and ran off to find Sakura.
I hope you liked chapter 1! Please tell me if it was funny or not. Hang on for chapter 2 to see what Naruto has in store for Sasuke next!