Title: "Expected Surprises" a Hydro kiss story
Pairing: Clois.
Rating: PG-13, I say "hell" twice, but I didn't think that was a big deal...
Author Notes: It's a giant mess, but it's suposed to be.

CLARK'S CRAZY KISSED OUT MIND!!!!

The proceedings of his own night wondered on his brain like a fresh wound- wound? Should he really say wound? Doesn't that sound violent, as though instead of kissing him she had taken out a giant chain saw and- oh God! If she ever found out that it was him she probably would attack him with a giant chain saw. That would be the most responsible reaction… well in "Lois World". What should he be thinking about? NOT THE KISS! Not THIS much! It was only so long- but it felt longer. How long had they been kissing? Was it as slow motion as it felt? It was like watching- or living- a NFL playback. Really, Smallville? Football? Do you really want to relate that moment with football? Men! Wait- I am a guy… what should I be thinking about? Oh yeah, that gossip columnist. She's a girl. Lois is a girl- wait- she's not a girl, isn't she at least a woman? Well, saying she's a woman is liking say he's a man. And he sure as hell doesn't feel like that. He's a boy- well, not a boy… boy's don't like kisses. Especially from Lois. Actually, no one should like kisses from Lois. She's like your sister- oh god! That's the nastiest view of this scenario. TAKE THAT BACK! He closed his eyes tightly, at the count of 1… 2… 3… STOP! See? It's easy… your not thinking about Lo- girl who shall not be named. Girl? I'm calling her a "girl" now, isn't she more of a young adult? How about female? She's not girly… I always disliked that about her, not enough like Lana. But why would he want her to be like Lana? He liked Lois. NOT IN THAT SENSE- well maybe in that sense… since the kiss… wait! Aren't I thinking about the kiss again? There's no way out! I'm trapped, and cursed, and- and in trouble! Yes! Trouble. She's Oliver's girlfriend, and, anyway she slapped the hell out of me! She didn't know it was me, but, still! Wait… did she like the kiss? I know I liked it- I didn't get enough of it. Even if it was in slow motion. Honestly how does a guy deal with this? Most of the best kisses involve me being taken by surprise- which I was… but it was different surprise. Expected surprise? That's an oxymoron… but that's what it was. Expected surprise. I knew she was going to kiss me in that short few seconds before the seemingly-long kiss but not before that- Oh no! I let her kiss me! Expected surprise. It's all my fault! I'm supposed to be in control! But, I'm never in control with her… well, I did a little kiss leading in the middle but- usually I'm not in control in the long sense? Does that make sense? Probably not! Oh no! I'm still thinking about it! Okay, occupy yourself, go do chores- or study! Chores or study? Think about kissing Lois- or occupying myself? Maybe I should just think about it? What's so wrong with enjoying this moment? It was rather pleasant… no matter how sick and wrong of me it is to think that when Lois Lane never wanted me to feel that way about her and probably views that kiss as the worst thing that's ever happened to her. Oh boy.

The End, but not for Clark he's going to be busy!