His icon sat there, mocking her from the second he singed on. She watched the little head bob around.
He did this every once and a while, got on at four am and shot her an email. Scanned down his buddy list at one in the morning and said hello. She wondered why he did it when he did.
Weeks, and once or twice in the last two years even months, had gone by when he didn't. But it never failed, like a migrating duck he would return to her.
A migrating-. Seriously she'd been watching too much Animal Planet. Who the fuck compares a person to a-.
fmiller-nypd79: What are you doing up?
Scarface: I could ask you the same thing.
fmiller-nypd79: I asked first.
Scarface: Went out with a bunch of the guys from work.
fmiller-nypd79: Just like old times?
Scarface: Never is. Did you know ducks mate for life?
She stopped breathing for a second. Starring at the icon like it would provide her some logic to that.
Scarface: Faith? You still there?
fmiller-nypd79: Yeah.. sorry.. When did you pick up an interest in water fowl?
Scarface: Water what?
fmiller-nypd79: Ducks Bosco.
Scarface: Jerry was going on and on about ducks at the damn bar.
fmiller-nypd79: Sounds riveting.
Scarface: You still at work?
Yeah work, that's it. Work.
Scarface: Big case?
fmiller-nypd79: Is that why you still talk to me? To live vicariously through my cases? J
Scarface: You're on to me.
fmiller-nypd79: Come on spill it. What's up Boz?
Scarface: Can't I just drop my old partner a line every once and a while.
Scarface: Yeah. You're surprised?
fmiller-nypd79: No.. we just don't do that very much anymore.
Scarface: We should.
fmiller-nypd79: We should.. Listen Bosco I gotta get back to this before I-.
Scarface: I get it Faith.
fmiller-nypd79: Sorry Boz.
Scarface: It's okay.
fmiller-nypd79: Thanks Partner.
Scarface: I'll see you this weekend.
Faith watched Bosco's icon disappear from her screen, taking a long slow breath.
"I forgot my homework."
"Hurry." Faith grinned at her son, leaning back against the brownstone.
"Faith?" The detective turned towards her ex husband, with a soft smile.
"I got Charlie's suit to the dry cleaners, I'll drop it by tomorrow so he'll have it by Saturday."
"Why?" She shook her blonde head.
"Bosco's Roast thing on Sat-."
"Awh, Fred I'm not going to-."
"You're not going? Seriously Faith you're like the only one in New York."
"You are? You hate him Fred you-."
"What are you doing Faith?"
"What are you talking about?"
"You know what I'm talking about Faith." He grinned at her. "I could understand before, but.. now. Go to him Faith."
"What are you saying Fred? It's been four months I should be moving on to the next guy that I-?"
"The next guy?" His head bobbed down to the sidewalk. "You and Boscorelli-."
"Hey!" She plastered a fake grin on her face as Charlie reappeared. "Got it?"
"Yeah.. Bye dad."
"Miller." She mumbled into the phone, rubbing her face with her hand
"He's expecting you to be there." Her daughter's voice shook her out of the semiconscious state she'd been in. She'd fallen asleep at her desk again. How was it she couldn't sleep in her own bed, but here? She dozed right off.
"What am I supposed to say? Hello Ladies and Gentlemen, my mom couldn't be here tonight because she's scared of her feelings for her old partner?"
"Mom!" Her voice grew quiet. "He's expecting you to be there."
"It's better for him if I-."
"How? How's it better Mom?" Emily sighed. " Christ Mom even Dad's going."
"Your dad just wants to laugh at the crap they'll say about him."
"Charlie and I are at a table right up front with Rose, Sully and the Davis'. His family Mom. You really want that empty chair?"
"Emily, It's more complicated then an empty chair."
"He needs you. He needs you to sit there and smile at him, make fun of him and let him know that no matter what? Those days meant something to you. They were important."
"Of course they-."
"I'll pick you and Charlie up at six, where the black dress Mom you look hot in it."
He watched her put the phone down, rolling her head around slowly, before rubbing her eyes. He hadn't seen her since John's funeral and even then he'd kept to the back. She hadn't called. He didn't want to assume she'd want him there with her, no matter what Emily said or how badly he wanted to be.
She looked exhausted. He felt guilty, moving back towards the stairs he could leave the file at the desk. He didn't have to risk her seeing him. Who ever she'd been on the phone with, it hadn't gone well. The last thing she needed was him.
"Boz?" Too late.
"What are you doing here?"
"My um.. Last official report.. I'm handing it over to some of your guys." He held the folder up. Nodding his head wildly like that was going to somehow make it less awkward. "Sorry.. I'm.. out of uniform." He gestured to his casual attire before fixing his gaze on her.
"You look good Boz." He watched the tentative smile on her face turn true as his widened.
"It's not the baby face I was known for but it does okay." He whispered dragging his fingers down the small band-aid on his scared cheek.
"It looks rugged. Dangerous." She teased falling back into 55David Banter so easily that it hurt.
"What are you doing here anyway? I thought you'd be out investigating that triple homicide on 45th?"
"Ah.. I'm on desk. It's been months I swear I'm going crazy."
"From the accident? I thought..? Em said you were okay!" She didn't miss the alarm in his voice or the way he walked around the edge of the desk towards her.
"I am. Boz. No, I'm fine. I'm just.." She stood up quickly and his eyes blinked as he rapidly scanned her body, backing up to make sure he was seeing what he was seeing. "Pregnant."
His hand came out tentatively, before dropping gently on her abdomen.
"No kidding." He muttered.
"I don't.. we don't.." He looked away from her painfully. They didn't talk about her. She got it. She'd never asked Em about him either.
"I understand." She whispered. "I just thought you knew."
"No, I had no.." He unconsciously drew his thumb across her abdomen in short strokes. "You look great Faith."
"I look huge."
"You look beautiful." She pressed her lips together and watched him scan her body, swallowing hard when he met her eyes. "How you doing Faith? You okay?"
"Yeah.. Yeah.. I'm-." She nodded her head half heartedly. "So.. You're really calling it quits huh? I'm shocked. I thought tonight was just an excuse to get drunk on the NYPD. I would have thought you'd have twenty more years in you."
"Yeah.. Well.. I don't wanna turn into Sully now, do I?" He smirked looking at the wall for a second. She watched carefully. "You know he'll be there-." His sentence halted, and his gaze switched immediately to where his hand still rested forgotten on her stomach. "Woah."
She couldn't help but grin at his wondrous reaction to the sudden movement.
"Does… that happen a lot?"
"She's really active."
"She?" He asked softly, drawing his thumb along the site of the little ripples.
Faith nodded at him, cupping her hand over his and moving it to the left before pressing it down.
"Yeah. Sleep though that." She chuckled. He looked at her appraisingly before weaving his fingers up through hers and tightening his grasp. "You wanna drop that off and I'll walk you to your car?"
"Ah.." He pulled his hand back gently. "I walked." He nodded slowly. "I was gonna take the subway."
"I could drop you."
"Come on I'm leaving anyway." She smiled at him. "I gotta get ready, some hot shot beat cops having a thing.."
He smiled at her before shaking his head again.
"You ain't going that way."
"I am now." She told him frankly, tapping the file and pointing to the door. His refusal died on his lips when her eyebrow quirked up.
"I can't believe you still live here." Faith blew a steady stream of air out of her lips before dropping onto the sofa.
"Where would I go?"
"I don't know. Out of here?"
"I don't know Bosco. Change? Growth?"
"I don't like change." His voice was muffled by the refrigerator. "And I'm not really a grower." He pulled back, holding up a can of ginger ale. "It's the best I can do." She grinned at him extending her arm towards the can. "I should have milk or something."
"Yes.. Milk." She teased opening the can. He flopped down beside her on the couch. "The beverage of the pregnant mother."
"Hell Faith, I don't know. I ain't ever been a parent." He opened the beer, taking a swig as he leaned his head back against the couch. He turned towards her silence. "What?"
"How come?" Her voice was barely a whisper.
"Yeah." She nodded.
"I don't know Faith. I wouldn't have been any good at it."
"That's not true." She said immediately.
"Maybe.. If I'd have had the right girl. Someone who could keep me honest. Keep me on the right path. Someone who understood me."
"All that looking and you never found anyone who could do that?" She quipped with a grin.
"I lost her." He said softly his eyes drilling into hers. The silence deafened her for a few seconds.
"How?" She barely heard herself.
"I don't know." He swallowed hard, closing his eyes as he turned away. "I was hoping you could tell me." He tossed the beer can back to his lips and pulled it away again.
She moved closer, pulling his face gently back to hers. His unfocused eyes swam in front of her. She waited patiently for them to focus on her before shaking her head slightly.
"I don't think you lost her, Boz." She whispered softly leaning her head on his shoulder.
He turned his face towards her pressing his cheek into her ear, taking a long slow breath of her scent. Still the same. Still Faith. She took the hand that sat on his thigh, joining them loosely.
"Things haven't been right with us, not for a long time." He starred out the window. "I guess I thought maybe she out grew me."
"She was there for you." She whispered her voice shaking enough for him to feel it. "She'll always be there for you.".