Rated: k+

Category: Romance/Angst

Summary: Pity the boy he fell in love with lost his heart to tennis, one-sided dirty pair, angst

Pairings:Dirty, Atoji, implied Silver

Characters: Mukahi and Oshitari

Disclaimer: Pot is not something I own…


Another one of my pointless stupid Hyotei fics…this is the ninth hey at least this one is Angst… Here's a list:

Hyotei Phobia

Hyotei Library Session

Bets and Lovers

Book of Stupidity

Fights and Idiot

Switching Places

Book of Stupidity 2

Melting Ice


Mukahi looked over at the boy sitting on the bench, studying the defects in his tennis racket, and he knew, he knew that he would never let him go. Mukahi continued staring and wondered if the boy would look up, smile and tell him it was all okay, that they could play tennis again. He waited, and waited and waited… Oshitari Yuushi…he dared whisper into the empty tennis court. You damned ninja… Mukahi wanted to scream. He looked around at his friends…team-mates, they were all talking, having fun. And then he looked at the blessed couple, Atobe and Jirou…they looked so happy… so in love? Mukahi looked away and turned to Shishido and Ohtori discussing a movie they saw recently, they were friends, perhaps even more. So why? Why did he not have the thing that everyone had?

He knew it then, he knew that he loved him, Oshitari Yuushi, damn that tensai. He hit a ball full speed towards a wall, stupid Yuushi! He hit another, and another. Atobe looked up, Jirou grinned, Shishido glared, and Ohtori furrowed his brow but Oshitari…his Yuushi, didn't budge, he just sat there, cool as ever, glaring at his tennis racket.

I hate you, Yuushi!! Mukahi silently cursed, he loved Oshitari but Oshitari…even though they made those jokes, they claimed that they loved each other; he knew that Oshitari didn't love him. Regardless of the feeling inside his stomach every time their eyes met. The flutter in his heart every time Oshitari smiled at him after a tennis match. Their training sessions in the gym, their feelings of mutual friendship after a job well done… Oshitari regarded him as a friend, only a friend, and nothing but a friend.

There was no such thing as perfection, no such thing as a perfect person, a perfect rose, a perfect love. Mukahi was smart enough to know that, but Oshitari, damn it, he was close to perfection, the tensai of tensai. Mukahi didn't love him for that, Mukahi loved Oshitari…because he was imperfect, because after practise, that was the time when Mukahi saw Oshitari when he was most vulnerable. Those days after practise when they stayed behind, to discuss about matches, to share the thrill of match point… Oshitari was human, as human as Mukahi, a tensai…but human… and Mukahi knew that. Mukahi knew he loved him because of that.

Mukahi looked at the couple, Atobe Keigo and Akutagawa Jirou…they were happy, Jirou loved Atobe ardently, with the admiration of a fan, the support of a brother and the passion of a lover. Atobe indulged Jirou, he possessed for Jirou an affection they didn't know that the ice emperor could possess. Nobody had been surprised when they announced their relationship. Nobody had shielded their eyes when Atobe pressed down for a kiss, or Jirou cuddled sleepily…it had seemed right, normal…ordinary… Their love was so passionate, so ardent, that it seemed like it was there the whole time, it was heart-warming to the people around them, it seemed not like the love between two teenaged boys, it was more fervent, more alive.

He didn't love Oshitari that way, he was not capable of that kind of love…the great acrobatic Mukahi Gakuto could not love like that. No, he loved Oshitari with the type of love he was capable of, a reserved stoic kind of love, a love nonetheless. While he loved Oshitari so wildly, so greatly, he knew that he could not…would not admit it… it wasn't passionate, it could never be passionate. The only love he was capable of was not passionate, it was… cool, not warm, loyal not ardent. He longed to be in Oshitari's arms, but at the same time…he was afraid of it.

Oshitari finally stood up, put a hand on Mukahi's shaking shoulder, smiled and said, "Let's go…"

"Okay…" He smiled back and followed him into the clubhouse. He knew that they would be together after, and talk…just talk… it was the happiest time of day.

Mukahi also knew that Oshitari would never love him, no, of course not, how could he when the tensai had already lost his heart to tennis? How could Oshitari give Mukahi his heart…when he didn't have it himself? Pity he fell in love with Oshitari Yuushi…the boy who already lost his heart to tennis.


A/N: Dude, I'm sorry Mukahi fans!! I just love to make Mukahi suffer!!! I had the strange urge to write an angst Mukahi fic…it was just something I had to do. X3 Oh and…does anyone know where I can get the translations for 20.5? I know there's this website called Hyouteism but it's not working for my server and it's pissing me off. Also Fruity Explosive Translations website isn't working also. So yeah…

Oh and BTW To the Lovers of Silver Pair: I'm prolly not going to write a Silver Pair thing any time soon cuz…Ral loves Chotarou and she'll kill me...sorry…

Thanks to Ral for editing my ficc!!! Love ya!!!

I live off your reviews!!!