Author's note: The final chapter, guys. I can't believe it's already over! °pouts° For those of you who are interested, Skelly and I are already thinking about co-writing again in the near future. I suggest you keep an eye on Skelly's account since we're going to post it under her name. For now, enjoy Cam's singularity!
--° Game Over °--
Dr. Camille Soroyan made a sudden move to her right and let out a string of curses. Then she sat up straight again, furiously clicking away with her mouse.
"No no, not a green one. Gimme something red."
She growled in frustration. "I said red, not blue! Come on baby, I need a red one."
It was like this that Hodgins found her; brow furrowed in utter concentration, her eyes glued to the computer screen, and her hand placed firmly on the mouse as if she wanted to become one with it. Hmm... cyber sex anyone? Hodgins thought. The lab could explode right in front of her nose and she wouldn't notice. An impossibly large grin appeared on Hodgins' face. He smelled a golden opportunity here.
"I was wondering…"
"Could Zack and I do a little research?"
"Yes, yes. Fine, fine," Cam dismissed him with a wave of her hand, not taking her eyes off the screen.
Hodgins strode away, grinning broadly. Two minutes later Cam broke out of her intense concentration and stared at the door. Crap, have I just authorized an illegal experiment? I better stop them before they turn everyone's hair purple. In his desire to play a trick on the entomologist, Zack had sent the video of a singing and dancing Hodgins wearing Angela's elf hat to Brennan as well as Cam. That's why the head of the team knew about Hodgins' little "fun hour".
Cam shuddered. I have to stop them. I've got a meeting later on, and I really don't want to look like I stepped right out of a cartoon. And I really don't want to be criticised because of my workmates. It's not my fault they all escaped the mad house.
She quickly jumped to her feet and raced out of her office. Only to run into Angela two seconds later. Tops, skirt, trousers and shoes flew everywhere as the two women landed on their behinds on the ground.
"Oops, sorry 'bout that," Angela apologised.
Cam glared at her while brushing a pair of socks off her shoulder and fishing a red pair of panties out of her hair. "Angela, this is a lab, not a fashion show. If you want to strut around in Versace's latest creations, I suggest you enter "America's Next Top Model", but don't do it in my lab. Do I make myself clear?"
"Crystal," Angela nodded, beginning to crawl around on all fours to retrieve all of her clothes. "But I want to make a suggestion. You might wanna invest in that new black bra D&G are advertising."
"D&G? Who are they?" Cam asked, confused.
"Duh, Dolce and Gabbana. Who do you think I meant, Dimwit and Gigi?"
Cam rolled her eyes before asking her next question. "Now tell me, where is "the Musketeers with Chemicals"?"
The artist pointed heavenwards. "Up there. In the lounge area."
Cam groaned. "Please don't tell me they're going to bungee jump off the mezzanine? I really can't be picking up body parts of my staff right now."
As Angela watched Cam fly up the stairs towards the lounge area, she mumbled, "That one's been cooped up in that office of hers for too long. She has dug through too many dead guys intestines if you ask me. Needs a little shoe therapy."
Cam was at the lounge area in no time. She felt like strangling Angela with one of her recently bought silk bras when she laid eyes upon Booth and Brennan, instead of Hodgins and Zack. What made it even worse was the fact that the couple was apparently having another one of their animated and cosy-looking discussions.
"No Bones, you hold my hand like this. The goal of this game is to try to get your thumb on top of mine without using any other body parts."
Brennan raised her eyebrows. "What's the name of this game again?"
"It's called thumb wrestling," Booth explained. "Are we going to have a go at it or not?"
Oblivious to their audience, Booth counted to three before he began making feints in an attempt to distract his partner. Brennan attentively watched his antics, keeping her thumb raised and perfectly still. Then she gave him a crooked smile. One well-timed move later, Booth was wincing in pain, all blood being squeezed out of his thumb by Brennan.
"Bones, Jesus, let go!"
"I'm not Jesus," she curtly pointed out. "See, no zombie parts. Besides, Jesus can't help you now."
"Figure of speech, Bones, figure of speech; I wasn't asking Him for help!"
"Not that he could have done anything anyway, because he's dead," Brennan retorted.
In vain trying to pull free from her grasp, Booth shot back, "He's not dead. He lives inside everyone's heart."
"Oh really?" Her eyebrows were once again raised. She brought her face closer to his and quietly said, "Good to know you carry a piece of a dead human being around in your heart. Why don't you ask him to bail you out here, because you're obviously not succeeding on your own?"
Somehow Booth managed to wiggle free. He roughly grabbed her wrist and pulled her towards him. "Stop ridiculing my religion," he warned her in a low voice. "Some people actually believe that there is more to life than test tubes, examination tables and lab coats."
"Something more like stalking your partner?" Brennan asked him sweetly.
"How many times do I have to tell you that I wasn't stalking you?" Booth shot out.
"Oh please, I'd sooner believe in God than…"
"Dr. Brennan, Seeley," Cam interrupted them.
Booth instantly let go of Brennan and sat up straight. "Camille," he nodded.
Cam's eyes flicked between the couple. "Have you two seen Hodgins and Zack?"
"They were in test room C the last time I checked," Brennan offered.
"Thank you." Cam turned and walked away, throwing over her shoulder, "Keep the flirting for outside office hours, will you? This is a lab, not a place to hide out from your parents." She continued mumbling to herself all the way to test room C, "Can't believe they're getting all lovey-dovey on my watch. Just can't believe they're getting lovey-dovey at all! What the hell is this, match . com?"
She came to a stop right before the door leading to the test room where Hodgins and Zack where supposedly at.
"Are you sure we won't get fired for doing this?"
"For the millionth time, Zack, Cam authorised this experiment. No need to get all sweaty and scared."
Cam entered the room, her arms crossed and wearing a dangerous scowl. "But I sure am going to kick both of your asses if you don't put those substances down right now. Step back from the unauthorised test-tubes!"
Zack visibly blanched a little at seeing their boss. Cam's sudden appearance took Hodgins by surprise, making him drop the test tubes he had been holding.
"Shi-" A loud bang rang through the room when the substances mixed. "-it," Hodgins lamely finished, coughing madly because of the thick black smoke hanging around them.
Cam and Zack joined him in the coughing. As soon as the smoke had cleared up a bit, Cam glared at them. "This is the reason why I don't authorise your experiments. You two always end up blowing something to pieces!" She gestured at the destroyed lab room. "Clean this mess up, and do it properly, or I will make sure you two are cleaning it up with a toothbrush and your bare hands!"
"Yes Sir... Ma'am, I mean," Hodgins replied, saluting her. Zack saluted her also, his arm flying up so quickly to his skull it was a miracle he didn't cut off his own head.
Cam gave them a tight nod before exiting the test room and going to her own office. Satisfied to be getting back to what she had been doing before, she sat down in her office chair. She sighed in defeat and frustration moments later when she saw the words 'game over' in bold flashing on her screen.
"That's it," Cam growled. "That's the final drop! I've had it with these loons!"
She stormed out of the room and straight onto the platform, shouting on the top of her voice, "All of you nutcases get your butts down here now or I'm calling the men in white coats!!"
Cam waited impatiently until Booth and Brennan had descended the stairs, Angela had sauntered onto the platform, and Hodgins and Zack had left the safety of the test room. One by one she stared them straight in the eyes; next she shook her head slightly.
Angela leaned a bit towards Hodgins to ask quietly, "Why does Cam look like she has jumped down a chimney with the fire still burning? Or is she just trying out the whole afro look for her hair?"
"That's what you get when you mix..."
Cam loudly cleared her throat. Next she glared at Booth who was snickering at her.
"Umm Camille? You have a little something..." the FBI-agent said, lightly touching his cheek.
"Shut up, Seeley. The same goes for the others. I've had about enough of all your weird habits!" She put her hands on her hips to look more menacing. "You," she nodded at Zack, "stop sneaking off to the bathroom to get some alone time with your precious sugar rush. You're like an addict! You," Cam gestured at Hodgins, "obviously feel the need to become the next famous Broadway star. Practice in your own time Frank Sinatra, not in the lab!"
She turned her scowl onto Brennan and Booth when Booth playfully nudged the anthropologist. "As for you two lovebirds; playing games during work hours? Honestly Seeley, 'you want to thumb wrestle me', what kind of pick-up line is that? If you want to hit on her, do it properly, will you? You're not a freaking ten year old! Why don't you just pull her hair while you're at it?"
"He does that quite alot," Brennan piped up, before quickly being silenced by the look Cam sent her.
"And as for you," she stared at Angela, "you should be working on the skull of the Maribel case instead of playing dress up. You're an artist, not a frigging Barbie doll! If you want to wear pretty clothes, then go and work for Twiggy and Tyra Banks!"
She pointed a probing finger at everyone. "You're supposed to be a professional team. We're known for solving cases in record times. Not for trying to reduce this establishment to dust." She shot a nasty look at Zack and Hodgins.
"Or being the winner of the New York fashion week." Cam's eyes glared daggers at Angela.
"And you two." Cam's head swivelled towards Booth and Brennan. "You two are the worst. All these bloody longing looks and gentle touches! Seriously, I'm authorising it. Find a closet! Because you are supposed to be solving crimes, not speed-dating!"
She shook her head. "I can't believe I'm the head of a team of nutcases. All your annoying little habits drive me up the walls, but do you know what frustrates me the most?" Cam crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes to slits. "You made me lose my game of Bubble Shooter!"
Brows furrowed in confusion, Brennan whispered to Booth, "Bubble Shooter?"
"It's a famous computer game, Bones. You have to shoot randomly coloured bubbles at other randomly coloured bubbles. The goal is to clean all the bubbles off the field. You have point the mouse to where you want the next bubble to go, and if three or more of them come together, they will detonate. The bigger the explosion - the more points you get. They say it's one of the most popular office games."
"Oh," Brennan nodded. "You will have to show it to me one day."
"Did I not just tell you to put one of Angela's socks in it?" Cam exploded. "I never thought I'd say this in the first place, never mind repeat it. Just do it, will you? Get it over with and out of the lab!"
"Dr. Soroyan?" a male voice interrupted her tirade. Cam spun around to find Dr. Goodman gazing at her. "Having trouble with your colleagues? Isn't your team cooperating?"
"My team? It's your team now! I've had about enough today; I'm heading home!"
And just like that Camille Soroyan stormed away, her face and clothes all black from the explosion and the tips of her hair slightly burned off, curling up towards her roots, leaving Dr. Goodman alone with her "team of nutcases".
Dr. Goodman slowly turned to face his former colleagues. "What did I miss?" he asked, tilting his head to the side.
"One heck of a good show," Booth answered, pointing at the retreating back of a frazzled Cam.
The beloved cyber sex mouse would never be the same after being ripped from it's socket and flung at a certain Agent's head.
Booth had a boo-boo and Brennan made it all better by allowing him to teach her Bubble Shooter. They later tried out said closet.
Zack cut short on the lolly pops and went to Sugar Rush Anonymous. He met his girlfriend there. Her name is Candy and she loves red cars.
Jack went to see about being in Broadway, but was quickly told he can't sing and microscopic insects weren't allowed on the stage.
Angela began to behave normally again and took to changing her clothes only twice a day. She squealed herself silly at Booth and Brennan's "encounter".
Dr Goodman found the latest antics of the team to be quite hilarious and laughed for three days straight.
And Camille, well let's just say her meeting was very soon followed by a quick trip to the hairdressers and the computer shop, to replace a rather destroyed mouse.