A MISTAKE THAT SHOULD NEVER BE MADE
Children grow up…
Jobs come and go…
Love waxes and wanes...
Men don't do what they're supposed to do…
Crying is a sad thing. Sobbing is a horrible thing. I was doing neither. I was mourning. Never in my life had I felt so depressed. That is, of course, other than when... Edward- I forced the name out just as I did in that repulsive time- left me because he thought I would get hurt. "Stupid," I muttered.
I was talking about myself.
Getting angry with Edward for knowing that I would never graduate was the worst mistake of my life. I knew that he would love me forever, even if I never did become a vampire. But not this time. Edward was gone, erased from my memory. I had forgotten him...
No! No, I couldn't forget Edward. His beautiful face, godlike features, and his sparkling chest in the meadow were too much to bear but even harder to forget forever. This couldn't be. Edward couldn't have let me down! He wouldn't. He knew that I would try to kill myself and then he would commit suicide by disrupting the peace of the Volturi's land again. If Edward left me the cycle would just repeat. But he had known and he had deceived me. I would never become a vampire and I would never be with him.
A dark sparkling coat covered the sky as the stars twinkled immensely on top of it. A big oak tree loomed over Charlie's house like... like... like true love in the form of a vampire hovers over my neck, making sure I don't break it.
An even darker shape was also there and it was coming promptly towards me. I thought, for a moment, that it was Edward coming to apologize. I was overjoyed but instead, I tried to act like I had stuck to my opinion of becoming a vampire even though I wouldn't graduate.
But it wasn't Edward. It was Jacob.
But only did I hear his voice did I realize that he meant to come in secret. "Bella!" he said in a low whisper. "It's me, Jacob! Open your window, please, Bella!"
I was confused by the tone of his voice. It sounded like he was pleading. I knew Jacob better, though. He couldn't have been pleading... could he?
Now that Jake was a werewolf I couldn't trust him like I used to. Although my heart told me that I shouldn't let him in, his beautiful face and the fact that he was my friend led me to do something imprudent.
I opened my window to let him come in the way Edward had always done before him.
"Bella, I'm very happy to see you," Jake said with no expression in his voice. He didn't smile like he had before he came into my room. Only then did I realize that his eyes said, "Where is he?"
I answered his eyes with my own. "Not here, if that's what you think."
We stared each other for a long time, none of us speaking. We were afraid to. I turned my head so that he couldn't read my eyes. It would've given away the fact that Edward had left me. But Jake was smarter than that. He reached for my face and pulled it towards him. Still, I refused to look at him.
"Ahh," he said quietly and solemnly. "I see. He's gone. It's okay, Bella. I understand that you're sad. I'm here, Bella. I'm here."
He pulled me towards his bare, tan chest. I just barely reached his neck so he kissed the top of my hair gently, just as Edward had always done. I wasn't used to Jake kissing me. He had only done it once before and that was when we were younger and didn't know that consequences. This time was different. It wasn't a friendly kiss. It wasn't a kiss that you would give to you mother. This kiss had passion in it. That passion was love.
But not true love.
Well, maybe for him it was but for me it was awkward. I knew Jake well and I knew that he was in love with me just like Mike and Eric and Tyler were. Not like Edward, though. His love was completely different from the love of Jacob Black. This small kiss on my head said a lot about him and I didn't like it.
It was... just not Jake.
"Mmmm," he said. Just like Edward, again. Except not...
He then said something that I almost expected after a kiss like that. "Bella, I love you."
"You... what?" I said as I pulled away from his firm grasp. I said I almost expected it.
"I love you."
No, I thought.
"No," I muttered and looked away again, this time glancing behind me. There was something different about the back wall. Part of the wall was a dark blue, the other a light blue. I glanced upward and saw that the ceiling was white all the way around; nothing irregular about that. The light wasn't on; maybe the problem was shadows. But the wall didn't look like a shadow.
"Yes, Bella. I love you," he whispered. He stalked towards me and slid his hand around my waist. He pulled me closer to him and moved forward, still headed towards the back wall.
"No, you can't do this," I whined but more clearly now. I was almost limp and just let Jacob drag me against the wall. Both my shoulder blades touched it but my spine didn't. I looked behind me again. I saw the reason why the wall was two different colors: it was a corner.
And Jake had me pinned there.
Suddenly, the voice spoke to me. I hadn't heard it since Edward left me in the forest alone that revolting day. I loved him. I knew I loved him. Edward was my life. Without him, suicide would be my only other option.
"Don't let him do this, Bella!" the velvet voice sounded like the trumpets of heaven to me. Voice, beautiful voice, I love you, but you are too beautiful for me, I told him.
I had to leave. I had to get away from Edward. I had to get away from Jake. He was not the right one for me. I didn't love him. I never would.
"Bella," he spoke my name into my mouth as he pulled me up to reach his lips to mine. Then, he did it. I hated it. I would never have done anything like this before if I had the choice. He kissed me, hard. But even then, when I knew Jake didn't truly love me, I also knew that Edward would never have me. I knew that I would never become a vampire even if I asked Alice. Edward would read her mind and then try to stop me. Him and I would never get married so why love him? I didn't love Edward anymore.
And that was final.
"NO, BELLA!!!!!!!!!" the silky voice roared and then abruptly stopped as I enjoyed the kiss.
"Jacob," I said after I took a breath. "I... love..." I didn't have to finish the sentence. I locked lips with him again. I moved my arms around his huge body and twined them around his neck. His monster hands were holding me around the waist gently but..."werewolfy".
I closed my eyes. Why not? Enjoy the moment, I thought. I kissed him harder until my lips hurt and then decreased the kiss. I then did it again and again and again. It was a beautiful time. Ten-thirty at night, stars twinkling, Charlie was out, and I was kissing the second only man I would ever kiss: Jacob Black- a.k.a. the beautiful werewolf.
Jake held me tight. He kept my face locked into position as he kissed and moved over it. He seemed to enjoy making out with me. I wasn't too crazy about it but if I couldn't have Edward then I would have Jacob.
He moved his mouth overtop my cheek and whispered my full name three times slowly. He then traced my eyes with his lips and slid them back into place with my own.
Jacob repositioned his hands up to my chin. I loved Jake. I really did, all along.
Jake had closed his eyes long ago. I opened mine and looked at his eyelids. Suddenly, they shot open. They were filled with revulsion and resentment. He didn't look at me but at the across from us. He breathed deeply and heavily like he was about to explode...
And that's just what he did...
Pieces of blue jean shreds floated around me. I saw that his huge, hirsute body hardly had an inch of space before it touched my ceiling. No, I thought. This was supposed to be a wonderful time! Not time to explode into a giant dog!
"JAKE!! WHAT'S THE MATTER!?" I screamed at the top of my lungs. He didn't seem to hear me. All he did was spin around and lunge at a place on the floor near my bed. A great cry rang throughout my room as something shot out of the room quickly but I caught sight of what it was. I would be able to recognize it from three thousand miles away. Its white button-up shirt, dark blue jeans and beautiful, bronze hair were all too familiar.
At that instant, Jacob crashed through my window and ran out onto the street below. At first, I was in so much shock that I didn't do anything for a moment. But soon I came to my senses, ran to the broken glass, and peered out the window just in time to see a silver Volvo pull out of my driveway and speed away with an enraged werewolf after it.