I was feeling pretty bored and I realized, that I haven't written anything in ages! I've lately been really into FMA, so I thought why not make a fic? This is my first english story (english is not my motherlanguage, please remember that) and also my first one-shot. And second fic. I must say that at the moment I'm pretty proud.

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA! I'm just a fan writing fanfiction.



Everyone was silenced by a loud scream coming from the Colonels office. There was no doubt who it was: Edward Elric. God, that kids voice was so loud that even people outside the building would here him just fine.

Colonel Roy Mustang was sitting on his comfortable chair with a pile of unwanted paperwork just in front of him. Though he always was kidding that he couldn't see the kid behind his work, he did clearly. And he had grown. A lot. Well, not a lot now that he thought about it. Inch. Or two. No, not two, one and half. Yeah, that must be it.

"I'm not going to write the report again, if I can read it, then you can read it! I'm busy now, I just got back and we're leaving with Al to Resembool. I have to get this damn automail fixed."

"So, you wrote this report with your left hand after this little accident. I can tell it, you know. This is even more horrible than you're original handwriting. I can't read a word."

"It's not that bad! I've got used to writing with my left hand", Ed said, his eyes narrowing even more than they already were.

"Oh really? And why is that? Oh, I'm so sorry, I almost forgot that shrimps seem to get more hurt than normal sized people. I can't tell how they do it. I would think it's harder for them, thinking how hard it is to hit one when it just seems to slip away from the tiniest spots" Colonel Mustang said lazily. It was pretty good entertainment seeing the teenager blow up. And that's just what he did. It was so easy to control him.


Roy was having a hard time not laughing, but he couldn't help giving the annoyed alchemist a smirk. "I don't think I said anything about spiders. But you're description is pretty good… You're talented, you know. I wouldn't guess that while reading you're reports."

Edwards face was turning red and his face was like a picture of hell. Full of rage and as red as a tomato. No, ketchup better.

Roy couldn't help but he really cared about the little orphan kid. During his years in the military he had become a part of the big family, even when he wasn't spending a lot of time in one place. For Roy, he was like a son he never had. A very irritating son at times, but a son.

"That's not fun at all, you know", Ed said biting his lip. "And how can you except that I can write a better one, while I still don't have my right arm?"

Roys face fell. Not literally, of course! That would be just creepy. He hadn't thought about that writing thing, and now the golden haired shrimp had a large smirk on his face. Oh great, now he felt like a complete idiot. And in front of a kid! Well, a teenager, but whatever! No way.

"I'll get someone to write it to you. You just tell him what he must write and he writes it down."

Ed was now really irritated. "But I told Al that I'd be back in fifteen minutes. There's no way I can get someone write it down in the time I have left. The train leaves in an half an hour."

"Then we'll get you another train. I'll send someone to tell Al that it's going to take a while longer. Where is he?"

"Outside the building…"

"Hawkeye! Havoc!" Roy shouted and Ed jumped for a little bit out of surprise.

"Scared, Fullmetal?" he asked smirking.

"You wish!"

The door opened and Hawkeye and Havoc stepped in the room.

"Havoc, you'll write Fullmetals little story down. I just can't read this crap he gave me" at that point Ed bit his teeth together with a loud crunching sound. "Hawkeye, you go and tell Alphonse that it'll take a bit more than expected for Fullmetal to come and they'll get another train. Any questions?"

"No, sir."

"Good. Now get in work, and please you two, do it outside my office, I can't concentrate with Fullmetals girlish voice."

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?" Ed yelled while Havoc was grabbing him around his chest and pulling him out of the room. "YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR THAT, YOU KNOW!"

Roy sighed. Teenagers can sometimes be a pain in ass. But now he had to get back to his paperwork. Oh god, he hated paperwork.

Twenty-five minutes later there was a nock at the door.

"Come in."

Havoc stepped in, alone. Where the hell did that little blond go? Well, at least Havoc seemed to have the papers.

"Edward went to the train station. His train is leaving in five minutes. Here's the story, though I have no idea why you made me write it down. I mean, that kid's very creative, but I don't think military needs stories like this."

"What are you talking about?" Roy asked, confused. The reports were really important and Havoc should know that.

"Nothing, sir. Here are the papers", Havoc answered quickly and handed the reports to Roy who took them curiously. He let his eyes read the title How to get the bastard Colonel Mustang angry. WAIT, WHAT!?


"It's… It's the story he put me write down. Why you ask, is something wrong?" Havoc asked, pretty scared. Colonel was turning red, and he'd never seen him doing that.

Roy let his eyes read the last line of the "report".

Never mess with me again, red-faced bastard colonel!


Ed and Al were waiting for their train at the station. Al was pretty concerned about an evil smile on his older brothers face. Finally the train arrived, Ed cheerfully jumping in it.

"Finally. I can't wait to get home, even when I know that Winry's going to beat the crap out of me when she sees the automail."

Just then a horrible scream reached their ears.


Al looked down to his brother who had started laughing hysterically.

"Wasn't that the colonel? What did you do?"

"Oh, I just gave him the story" Ed managed to say while still laughing out loud.

"Well, that voice of his must be as loud as yours at times."

"I must agree. I'm really proud that I was the one who made him scream that loud. Though he sounds a little bit like a girl…" Ed said with an evil grin.

"Well, a little…"

Then the train left the station, leaving a very angry colonel behind in his office, tearing his hair out.

So there it was! Please, review, I wan't to know your opinions! Flames are accepted as well, as long as they're not just WRITING WITH CAPS LOCK AND LOTS OF !!!!!!! So, that was it. Thanks for reading!
EDIT: I found a few spelling mistakes that I fixed. Sorry about those! If you found more of them, feel free to tell me!
Thanks for everyone so far reviewing and telling about my mistakes! You have no idea how happy you've made me!