A/N: this is a missing scene between chapters 13 and 14 in my story Changed, for Good. Since it's the only one that is M-rated, I've decided to post it separately to spare it from those who might feel uncomfortable reading this. It's also my first attempt to write something that is a bit more graphic, so bare with me. And feedback is most welcome because I'm really unsure about this one.
Tanya was sweet to proofread it for me- thanks plenty, Dearest!
Lost all Resistance
It was even colder when they went out of the water. She reached for her cloak and wrapped it around her, and he found the coat he brought along and did the same. He picked up the rest of their clothes and followed her to wherever she meant to lead him.
She murmured something incoherent, and suddenly the darkness of the forest wasn't so complete. A faint light led their way. He could see the cave now, that same cave from which she had previously managed to escape before they got to her. He followed her inside, not daring to break the silence. Not that he could think of anything clever to say, anyway. There was this tension in the air. He wondered if she was scared. The thought alone was sort of ridiculous. She wasn't afraid of anything. She was the bravest woman, the bravest person he had ever known. This was one of the reasons he loved her so.
The fire was on. He could see it, then sense it. And he was glad of it, because he was shivering now. He was never that cold in his life.
She gave him a concerned look when she took his clothes from his hands. "Are you alright?"
"Fine," he said, mostly because it felt he couldn't say much more with his teeth chattering.
She smiled, obviously not buying that, then turned away from him to lay their clothes at the farthest corner of the stone-room, by the fire. He snuggled into his coat, watching her. Her hair was damp, curling slightly at its edges, clinging to the black material of the cloak she still had wrapped around her. And yet, surprisingly enough, she didn't look cold; not at all.
He took a seat on the shabby bed. She shook her head. "You won't get warm if you sit there; it's too far away from the fire."
He didn't respond. She was still pacing around. He wasn't sure why. She didn't seem nervous; yet he knew she wasn't one to display her emotions. He was somewhat nervous; there was no way that she wasn't. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making you some tea."
"You don't have to do that, I'm fine," he insisted.
She turned to give him a look. "Fiyero, your lips are practically blue right now. I can see it from here. Are you going to stick to the lie of you're not being cold?"
He smiled, running a hand through his damp hair. He could feel the blush creeping on his cheeks. "I was intending to."
She snorted, and turned her back on him again. He stood up and walked over to her. She was occupied with whatever it was she was doing, so she didn't notice him until he was right behind her. She gasped, startled, when he laid one hand against her hip, and with his other hand took the mug from her and laid it on the makeshift mantelpiece. Both his arms were wrapped around her now, his fingers brushing against the velvet of her cloak. She shivered, and it took him a moment to realize it wasn't from his touch. He flashed a mischievous grin at her. "You don't hide it too well yourself."
She lowered her eyes in silent admittance; then, as if changing her mind, she turned to face him. He wasn't much taller than her, he then noticed. This was sort of new to him; definitely a change from Glinda, who was tiny. Another thing that meant to tell him it wasn't right. Elphaba seemed to be his equal, in every way. He knew it now. He didn't mean to let it go.
He leaned down to lay a kiss on her lips. Then, slowly pulling away, he smiled. "Better?"
"Trying my own techniques on me is not very clever," she noted, frowning, but obviously amused.
"Perhaps not, but it definitely proved itself earlier," he replied. He didn't give her a chance to agree or protest and kissed her again. This time she kissed him back. Yes, it was definitely working. He wasn't cold anymore. It felt as if the temperature in the tiny room was increasing by the second, sending the coldness away. He pressed her against the mantelpiece, deepening their kiss, slowly bringing his hands up, to untie the knot at the front of her cloak.
She pulled away suddenly and sprang forward. "Fiyero, wait," she pleaded. Now she looked scared. He walked over to her and slowly took her hand in his, giving her a questioning look, although he was certain he knew what it was all about. She looked at their joined hands, then at him, looking somewhat anxious. "I don't-"
"Shh," he cut her off. "I know," he whispered, tucking her hair behind her ear. "We'll take it slow, alright? I'll stop whenever you say the word."
She seemed slightly calmer, yet still hesitant. Nonetheless she nodded and looked up at him, as if to see what he'd do next. He kissed her again, slowly, gently. The last thing he wanted was to scare her off. His hand drifted from her hair to caress her cheek. He could still feel her hesitation for a short while, but then it seemed to slowly wear off. As their kiss deepened, he felt her hands go between them, her fingers brushing against the thick material of his coat. It took him several more seconds to realize she was slowly undoing the buttons of it. Getting it as a sign, he reached to her cloak once again. She didn't pull back. She didn't try to stop him.
There was a soft rustle when the material slipped off her shoulders and fell on the ground. He broke their kiss slowly, and took a moment to look at her. She was beautiful. The light from the fire made her look radiant, almost unreal, in a way that even the moonlight was incapable of doing. Her hair was tumbling down her back, a sharp contrast to the emerald of her skin. She looked away at his watchful gaze, the color of her cheeks deepens. He reached out and gently touched her chin with his finger, making her face him. He wouldn't let her do that. She had no reason to be embarrassed. She had nothing to be ashamed of.
She looked up at him hesitantly, and he slowly took her in his arms. He trailed kisses to the bare skin of her neck and shoulders, running a finger down her spine. She threw her head back and pressed herself against him. He smiled and did it again. This time she moaned, burying her head in his shoulder as if to muffle the sound of it.
The air got stuffy, and he felt as if his body was on fire. And then he realized that it was probably since he still had the coat on. It seemed as if the same thought crossed their minds, because just then she brought her hands up to unbutton it all the way. Her fingers were trembling, he noticed, and he covered her hands with his to help her. Once they were done, he shrugged out of it, and it fell noiselessly to the ground.
They just stood there, facing one another, their eyes occupied with a silent dialogue. It was as if for once, just this once, she opened herself up to him, letting him see her the way she really was, exposed and vulnerable; and he liked what he saw. As much as he adored the strong, courageous woman she was, showing that softer side of her made her appear more… well, real, in a way.
She didn't remove her gaze, as if she was too afraid to look at him now that his coat was off. That was sort of silly of her, actually, after watching him so closely earlier, before he joined her in the water. Was it their closeness that made her so afraid all of a sudden? He wasn't sure. And he didn't want her to be afraid, ever. Not from him, not from anything. He reached for her hand, gently lacing his fingers with hers, then rested them against his chest. He didn't break their gaze, trying to assure her with his eyes that it was alright.
She hesitated, but as his fingers slowly left hers, she didn't remove her hand. Slowly, carefully, she ran it down his chest. The light touch made him shiver. Goosebumps began to form on his skin. She added a second hand, slowly caressing him. Her motions were still somewhat hesitant, but he could feel how her confidence was slowly increasing. She took a step forward, closing the small distance between them, and her lips replaced her hands. She spread soft kisses across his chest and shoulders, her fingers grazing the skin of his back ever so slightly.
They spent the next several moments just standing there, silently exploring one another's bodies with their fingers and hands. He brought his hands up to cup her chin, bringing her closer for a kiss. As it became more fervent, he pushed her slightly backwards, over to where he remembered the bed was. They anything but tumbled on it eventually, still kissing.
She wriggled beneath him as he trailed kisses on her neck and chest, all the way to her stomach and back up. He smiled against her skin as she uttered a small whimper of protest when he kissed his way up, and raised his head to grin evilly at her. He knew what she wanted, yet he was waiting for this moment for so long; he was determined to make it last, no matter how unbearable his need for her was.
She grasped his hair as he lowered his head to caress her breasts with his tongue, slowly, teasingly. She cried out when his lips closed around one dark nipple, gently sucking on it. He did the same with the other nipple, and heard her moan again. Her tugging of his hair got stronger; her back arched up, towards him. A shudder went through him at the sensation of skin against skin. He couldn't take much more of it.
Gently pulling away, he crawled a bit up, until he his face was just above hers. She looked breathless; her cheeks were flushed. He looked at her seriously. "Elphaba, now would be a good time to tell me to stop." He meant it. He knew he wouldn't be able to stop if they took it further.
She said nothing. She reached for his hand and kissed the tips of his fingers, her eyes never leaving his. Her answer couldn't have been clearer. He smiled, leaning down to kiss her once more, slowly lacing his fingers with hers.
He thrusted into her and heard her gasp. He kept his eyes closed for a moment. When he opened them, he was horrified at the sight of her expression. She bit her lower lip and made no sound, but she was obviously in pain. For a slight second, he was nervous. He knew it would hurt her; he wanted to make it as easier on her as he possibly could. "Elph-"
"Shh. Don't," she breathed. "I'm fine."
"Are you sure?"
"Alright, I will be fine. In a moment," she admitted, grinning shyly at him.
He returned her smile and adjusted his position a bit, making both of them moan. Then he began to move inside her, very slowly at first, giving her a chance to adjust. His eyes closed shut in spite of himself. He was lost in her warmth, in the moment. He could hardly believe that this was for real.
Her fingers dug into his shoulder, urging him to go further, faster. She began to meet his thrusts as he slowly picked up the pace. He forced his eyes open. He wanted to see her. He wanted to make sure he wouldn't lose her again. She wrapped her legs around his waist, taking him deeper, causing both of them to groan at this slight change of angle. She buried her head in the crook of his neck as he moved faster. He could feel his climax building up within him. He wanted it to last, but he couldn't bring himself to move slower. Her moans became more frequent now, her nails digging deeper into his flesh. It would leave a mark there by the next day, he was sure, but he couldn't care less.
She was close now. He could feel her tightening. One glance at her, and he could see her clouded expression, that dark desire in her eyes. Her skin was glistening with sweat. Several more thrusts and they were there, together, crying out each other's names in unison, then crushing, panting and breathless, against one another.
It took him a moment to regain his breath, but when he did, he felt like kicking himself. He was still lying on top of her, and probably crushing her with all his weight. But when he tried to pull away from her, she laid a hand on his chest, eyes half-closed.
"Don't. Stay," she pleaded.
"I'll crush you," he said, laughing softly.
She shook her head. "I don't care."
But he did. He carefully withdrew from her and moved a bit, enough so she'd be more comfortable, yet as close to her as he possibly could. He leaned down to kiss her forehead, then laid his head against her chest. Her hands wrapped around his head, cradling it. He closed his eyes, listening to the rhythm of her heart, slowly steadying. It lulled him to sleep. He forced his eyes open. It's been an incredibly long day and he was exhausted, yet he didn't want to fall asleep. There was always the chance, the slightest chance, that if he would, this would turn out to be just another dream.
"Are you asleep?" he murmured.
But when he looked back, she laid there with her eyes closed, still holding him. He smiled to himself and reached for the thin blanket he spotted there earlier, gently pulling it over them. She ran her fingers through his hair, her nails gently grazing his scull. It would put anyone to sleep. He closed his eyes, letting himself get carried away by the even sound of her breath. He knew it would be silly to try and delay the following day from coming. Yet he decided not to think about what morning would bring. He wanted to think of nothing but her. Just for that moment… as long as she was his.