I wake to the sound of rain pounding against the bedroom window. I open my eyes reluctantly and stretch my arms over my head. A quick glance at the clock tells me that it is six o'clock and I already want to get up as I notice your head lying on my chest.
I look at you, realizing how beautiful you are. You wouldn't like the idea of me watching you sleep. I know that but I can't help it. I just have to look at you, admire you. And wonder how I deserved you.
I smile to myself as I finally slip away and out of bed. I go into the bathroom and undress to take a shower. I pause to look in the mirror. My reflection stares back at me, amber eyes still dull from sleep, honey hair tousled with streaks of grey in it.
I don't know what you see in me and I probably never will. I am not overly handsome. At least in my view Molly obviously thinks differently about that. So did Lily. But even if I were more handsome than I think I am, I still wouldn't know why it's me to have the honour of being loved by you.
But it's an overwhelmingly good feeling to be loved. Especially by you. I never even dared dream of being loved by the very person I fell in love with. So I of course tried to prevent myself from falling in love. Failing miserably.
When you entered Headquarters to meet the Order for the first time it happened so suddenly I didn't know what was going on. It was love at first sight.
I told myself that it was just a feeling of extreme fondness. That I were definitely not in love with you. But I couldn't lie to myself. I wanted you so badly it hurt.
And as I could have had you I didn't want to risk it. Didn't want to risk your life for having your love so I pushed you away. Turned you down.
But you wouldn't be the Nymphadora I know if you gave up on me. And after more than a year I finally gave in.
The last few weeks were the happiest in my whole life. Well I wouldn't have expected them to be anything other than that.
I step under the shower and twenty minutes later go downstairs to make myself a cup of tea. I return to the bedroom afterwards and look at you some more. Well, much more. I again wonder why you love me, what it is that makes me so special.
But actually it doesn't matter why, does it? The only thing that matters is that you do love me. That in some way I am special. To you at least. And I could laugh at my foolishness right now. Like you did many times. You laughed and said, "Such an intelligent man asks such stupid questions. The reason is you!"
And I silently thank you for loving me. And hope that you'll love me a long time.
And the only request I'll ever make will be silent as well.