Disclaimer: All characters and settings are property of Masashi Kishimoto. I am in no way associated with the owner and no copyright infringement is intended.

Title: Conquest
Author: Adi / silverwyrm
Genre: Humour/Romance/AU
Pairings: SasuNaru/NaruSasu and a little KibaHina on the side
Rating: Mature
Warnings: M/M action, masturbation, Lee's oversized balls...
Story status: Multi-chapter, Complete
Fanart: http: / / silverwyrm. livejournal. com/ 8338. html, please take a look, the artists are amazing.
Summary: Naruto attempts to attract the attention of the new Teaching Assistant, Uchiha Sasuke, at his university.
A/N: My first fic \o/ but don't let that scare you ;D


Naruto approached the new TA's desk. He needed to put this very carefully, just so that his message came across in a subtle yet straight forward manner. They were alone in the lecture hall and another class wasn't due for a whole hour. Plenty of time.

"Wanna fuck?" Were the first words to be blurted from Naruto's mouth.

Sasuke for his part took Naruto's 'subtle' message calmly. He raised an elegant (obviously waxed) eyebrow.

"Uzumaki, if you think sexual favors are going to raise your abysmally low grade in this course, you're wrong."

Naruto spluttered. Outrage welled inside of him. How dare he imply that Naruto was stupid and a whore.

Naruto had been crushing quite heavily on the new TA, probably ever since he had set eyes on the ever so slightly girly looking yet stunning TA with (as he had heard other girls describe) dark eyes you could get lost in forever and ever. Naruto didn't mind that there were a hundred or so girls madly in love with the TA, constantly throwing themselves at him. To Naruto it was quite obvious that Sasuke was gay. How could he not be? Blue-black hair although very pretty was obviously not natural. Other things that weren't natural were the spikes sticking out at the back, Sasuke obviously abused hair products in his free time.

Now although Naruto had decided that the TA was to be his new conquest, he had never actually gotten to know him. This is why Sasuke's cold response caught him off guard. Okay so perhaps Naruto could have worded it better, he could have politely asked for tutoring over dinner perhaps and given the famous Uzumaki Naruto I-am-sex-on-legs smile. That would have worked a charm, it always had in the past.

Naruto's mouth opened and closed a few times as he struggled with his reply.

"Uzumaki, as much as I appreciate the view of where my dick could go, I have papers to mark."

This remark was punctuated with the first few eager to learn students entering the lecture hall. Naruto balled his fists in frustration. Sasuke raised his eyebrow yet again. Naruto stalked out.

Stupid Stupid Stupid STUPID, GAH!!. Naruto smart university student that he was had failed to factor in the fact that Sasuke was TA to other courses. Right, Plan A didn't work, now onto Plan B, except there was no Plan B. So Naruto did what any student does during the daytime; he went to the union bar. His roommate Kiba was the part-time bartender there, now Naruto hadn't managed to get free drinks yet, but persistence was an Uzumaki trait.

"So let me get this straight, you politely asked him out on a date, and he called you a whore, and that's exactly how it went?" Kiba in his new role of bartender was doing his impression of a bartender by pretending to dry glasses with a rag.

Naruto, by now was slumped over the bar, nursing his third beer and muttering about how he could do the stupid raising an eyebrow trick too, he just didn't want to. He nodded vigorously and bemoaned his fate to celibacy.

Kiba listened on, thoroughly amused. He had been Naruto's best friend since high school, so he knew Naruto's version was pretty far from the truth.

"I refuse to give up Kiba! I haven't been laid in 2 months. Two months. This Sasuke guy seems to be the only one The Dagger seems to be interested in." Naruto began to wave his arms around energetically, "Do you know what going without sex can do to a guy?" he lowered his voice furtively whispered "I've heard if you don't use it, you lose it."

"'The Dagger' heh, you seem to have a new name for it every week," was Kiba's less than enthusiastic reply as his went about wiping the mess Naruto had created. "Can't you sit still for just one moment?!"

"Kiba…" Naruto began his whining. Then he produced the Uzumaki (manly) puppy dog eyes, the pout was just forming when Kiba cracked.

"Alright, just stop looking so constipated. With Hinata, frankly, I stalked her until I found out everything about her and then pretended to be her fantasy guy, worked a treat."

"You stalked her? That's creepy!" Naruto was slowly edging off his bar stool.

Kiba growled "Will you stop that? That's what you wanted isn't it?"

"Hehehe yeah, so erm, how is Hinata in the sack-" Naruto was cut off as Kiba reached over and attempted to strangle him. "Ow, Kiba! Let go! You're choking me..gah..ah.." Kiba relented. "Sheesh, it's not like I asked if she minds Akamaru watching..." Naruto leapt out of strangling range and thought it was time to make his exit. He had Plan B to work on.