Disclaimer: Don't own anything related to Prison Break.
Please read and review! Spoilers for Bluff (1.18) This is my first PB fic so go easy on me. :))
He didn't really expect anything except the flat barren land ioutside his window. Just because he was going out to the outside world for the first time in ages didn't mean that the hills from the 'Sound of Music' were going to majestically appear before his eyes.
A long time ago, he had been just like everybody else. He never noticed the things around him, was always focused on what he was going to do next, where he was going to go, how he was going to take care of Michael and keep everything together. Never had time to stop and smell the roses, one might say.
Now he could appreciate it all.
The blueness of the sky.
The vastness of the land.
The warmth of the sunshine on his skin.
The way the trees swayed in the breeze.
Heck, even the low hum of the van's engine.
It felt like it was the first time he had seen these things, like he had never seen them before. It wasn't that he hadn't done the same thing back in Fox River. It was just hard to live each day as his last when he was confined by four walls. Anyone who was looking at him at that moment would easily be able to read the amazement and wonder in his face, like the delight of a child who had just discovered a new toy. He might still have handcuffs on him and sure he was still the victim of a massive conspiracy but dammit for the first time in a long time he felt free.
It was like waking up from a nasty nightmare and seeing that everything was alright.
"The hell are you staring at anyway?"
He nearly snorted in amusement. The man's voice brought him back down to earth, brought him back down from the clouds, made him realize that at the moment, everything wasn't alright. He had let himself get lost in wishful thinking. In hindsight, it might have been slightly foolish seeing as there wasn't anything he could do about his situation, but it had felt good.
If only for a few moments, it had been all about feeling light headed and happy and at peace.
And as for this man, he probably didn't realize how lucky he was to be able to be in the outside world everyday. Or maybe he did, seeing as he worked in a prison, a place where men were held captive by their transgressions, a place where men longed for freedom but had to wait seemingly forever to attain it. Anyhow, this man didn't appreciate his surroundings enough if he was asking him what he was looking at. Everything was just commonplace to him. Nothing special, nothing unique.
It was true when they said you only realize how important and precious something is when you have already lost it.
Or maybe being a death row inmate just put things into a new perspective.
It was exhilarating, being out in the world again. His eyes attempted to remember and store everything he was seeing and hearing and feeling, savoring anything and everything he could. Everything contrasted so brightly against the coldness and darkness of his prison cell, the fear and the frustration of imprisonment and impending execution.
More than the darkness and coldness and loneliness and fear, there was the emptiness, the nothingness.
No sense of time except for when they would give him his meals.
No sense of days except for the knowledge that each sunset brought him closer to death.
No sense of temperature save for the coldness he felt in his very bones during winter and the heat that stifled him during the summer.
No sense of hope save for when Michael had told him of his plans to escape, save for when Veronica would visit and tell him what she had discovered.
Was that hope still there?
He didn't want to think about it now. Hope could be a man's salvation and a man's burden. He had made his peace about his execution then Michael had come along. Then the escape had failed and he had made his peace again. Now he had been granted another two weeks and he wasn't sure how he was going to live them.
Would he live them with his hopes up, fighting against a fate that seemed inevitable, fighting against people with power who would stop at nothing to see him dead? Or would he live them resigned to his fate? Hope could save him, or it could break him if he had his hopes up way too high, would break him the way his expectations would shatter into a million tiny pieces like fragile glass.
All he wanted was to see his son. The rest he could deal with later.
Everything contrasted so brightly against the darkness that consumed his life. Somehow, he had to believe that that darkness would be extinguished and the light would prevail.
He had to because if he didn't, his whole world would have crumbled a long time ago.
He continued to stare out the window as the van approached an intersection. A huge towing truck was headed towards them.
Neither vehicle stopped and his eyes could only widen in a fraction of a second and crash.
He didn't know what was happening except that the world was turning upside down and everything was in chaos and he felt scared and sick and he was bleeding and something was very very wrong.
Finally, he found himself staring up at the bright blue sky. Moments before, he had been appreciating it but now it simply mocked him, mocked the fact that he was lying on the ground bleeding, miles away from LJ.
Then for one blissful moment, an old friend came to visit.
For one blissful moment, everything faded to black.
So what do you think? Lemme know! Thanks. :D