Title: On Safe Sex II
Author: Phoenix Kaen
Summary: Sequel to On Safe Sex- The cast of Yu-Gi-Oh teaches you how to put on a condom on using their own special ways.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything copyrighted in this fanfiction especially not the anime/manga series, Yu-Gi-Oh.
A/N: I saw how much people seemed to enjoy the first one so I decided to write a sequel (also, a one-shot).
Bakura, the Thief King is sitting behind a table with a glint in his dark brown eyes. He looked like that he was about to burst with maniacal laughter but that would've lasted for at least an hour. So he was asked to restrain himself or he would be forced to listen to Disney pop music. After his fearful expression at the aforementioned punishment, he picked up the materials in front of him, which were an unopened condom and an unopened popsicle. He opened the popsicle and was about to eat it.
"Wait!" The director yelled. "You're not supposed to eat that! That's for showing the audience how to put on a condom. This is a campaign for promoting safe sex, remember?!"
"Screw safe sex," Bakura said and proceeded to chomp on the popsicle. "Yum...Raspberry. Let's go, Mr. Piggy. We'll not stay here any longer. You're too young to learn about condoms." He said to a flowery patterned piggy bank. With that, he ran off the set carrying the ridiculous looking thing.
"Bakura, give me back my piggy bank!" Ryou ran after his darkside.
Ryou Bakura, the boy who looks like a pretty girl...The rest of the cast minus Bakura and Ryou sweatdropped at the description. He is still trying to get his piggy back so we'll skip to Yugi Mouto and Mokuba Kaiba.
Yugi Mouto, the short King of Games and Mokuba Kaiba, the younger brother of the famous Seto Kaiba are standing behind a table. They stare at the two unopened condoms.
"Um, you guys can start now," the director said.
"You touch it," Mokuba said, pushing Yugi towards the table.
"No, you touch it," Yugi argued. They looked at the two round objects. Mokuba lifted his finger and poked it.
"What is it?" Mokuba asked. Yugi shrugged his shoulders.
"It looks kind of like a lifesaver." Yugi said.
"Oh, I get it! It's a mint!" Mokuba said with his index finger in the air. "Here, Yugi, you need some mints." He threw them in Yugi's direction. The latter wasn't amused.
The director was getting a headache by now. The taller Yugi and Kaiba sweatdropped as Yugi chased after a giggling Mokuba.
Anzu Mazaki, the supportive friend of Yugi Mouto and Jounouchi Katsuya, is also chasing after Bakura. Apparently, he stole her bra and used it as a water balloon slingshot. So we'll skip over her for now.
Jounouchi Katsuya, bestfriend of Yugi Mouto is standing on one end of the table and Honda Hiroto, another supportive friend of Yugi Mouto's is standing on the other end. They had toothpicks in their hands and pretending that the condom is a hockey puck. The condom slid over to Jounouchi's side and he hit it with the toothpick. It bounced back to Honda's side.
The director's vein in her forehead was threatening to pop.
"Ryou! Would you quit chasing after Bakura and get back here?! You're under contract!" The director shouted loudly making everyone think that it's her time of the month. The white-haired boy apologized nervously (swearing that he'll get Bakura for stealing his piggybank later). He took his seat behind the table. He calmly took the condom then he sweatdropped.
"Okay, you can begin now," the director said. She sat back down on the director's chair and let out a loud fart. It echoed loudly on the set. She jumped out of her chair and lifted up a whoopee cushion. "What the- Bakura!"
"Director!" Ryou said as if he was appalled. She blushed and argued that she wasn't responsible. Then he couldn't control himself anymore and fell off his chair laughing. The crew had to drag his trembling body off the set by his legs.
"Got your bra back?" The director asked Anzu. The brunette girl nodded. "Okay, then start."
"Are you sure you've got all the gas out of your system first?" Anzu questioned.
"FOR THE LAST TIME, IT WASN'T ME!"
Mai Kujaku, female Duel Monsters champion picks up the condom. She read the box, which the condom came with.
"Hey, these are pretty small. Are they for Yugi or something?" Mai asked.
"Just show the audience how to put them on!" The director snapped.
"How? I don't have a (censored)! I am a w-o-m-a-n, not a man!" She got up from the chair, knocking it over and stalked away.
Kuriboh, the fuzzy Duel Monster sits on the table and looks at the director.
"Kuriii?" It squeaks questionably.
Dark Magician, Yugi's most trusted Duel Monster stands behind the table. He points his staff at the condom burning it to a crisp.
The Blue Eyes White Dragon, Kaiba's most reliable Duel Monster is floating above the table. He looks questionably at the condom then at the director. It started to chase after the director who was holding a sandwich.
There will be a short intermission while the crew tries to prevent the director from getting charred.
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" A loud scream sounded after the announcement. "Control your dragon, Kaiba!"
Seto Kaiba, the former King of Games is trying to control his BEWD so we will skip over him for the time being. There will be a substitute director.
Shizuka Jounouchi, the object of Otogi's and Honda's affections uses up a slingshot to fling the condom at the camera.
Malik Ishtar, the one that looks like he went to Saiyan mode all the time stabs the condom with the end of the Millennium Rod's dagger.
"Are there anymore I can stab?" He asked with a psychotic grin. He had to be removed using the SWAT team. Most of them ended up in the Shadow Realm.
(For those of you unfamiliar with the term, 'saiyan' is what happens to the Dragon Ball Z characters when their hair turns blonde and tall like a mountain.)
Yugi Mouto, the taller King of Games is about to take off his pants when the real director stopped him. Kaiba finally managed to calm his BEWD by promising it that he'll feed Yugi to it.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" She shouted with a blush.
"You wanted me how to show you how to put on a condom, right?" He asked.
"Yeah but not on yourself! Use a wooden model that represents a...well... you know!" Fangirls come out of nowhere and chase after the director because she stopped them from seeing something they had always dreamt of. "Damn fangirls!"
Another intermission while we extinguish off the angry and hormonally charged fangirls. Backstage, Shizuka, Anzu, Mai, Isis and Rebecca made a bet about how small they think Yugi's (censored) is. Now they're running after him to see who's right. Extra money goes to the person who pulls down his pants first.
Isis Ishtar, the reincarnation of an Egyptian priestess calmly picks up the condom. She takes it out the plastic wrap and takes out a banana. Isis stretches it over the top of the banana and pulls it down. The banana breaks in half before she could pull it down all the way.
"It was not part of my destiny to do this," she grumbled.
Malik Ishtar, the bleach blonde Egyptian boy picks up the condom and reads the label.
"Strawberry flavored? Yay! I love strawberry flavored things!" He was about to open the condom but Rishid jumped on him.
"NO, MASTER MALIK! It's not food!"
And, so nobody actually succeeded in showing us how to use a condom. Now let's get out of here before those fangirls come back! YEEK!
The fangirls and the girls joined forces to pull down the taller Yugi's pants. A loud scream emitted from him as he ran by the camera.
A/N: Was it funny as the first one or was it better than the first one? At least include the part that you liked especially but please don't give me a quote as the whole review. See you later.