A/N: This, I must admit, is the end and I know that it might be unsatisfactory for some people, but if you want really juicy stuff check on my livejournal in about a week. I'll probably post there, so I won't get in trouble here.

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or any of its characters.

Ed rolled his eyes at the cat calls coming from all directions. "This is absolutely the last time that I ask Winry for help," He thought as he moved stiffly down the hall. "How can women wear this?" He took another small step in the impossible high, stiletto boots and then straightened out the mini-skirt that kept insisting on crawling up to show even more of his legs. He rounded the corner and ran into Havoc. The collision sent the small alchemist falling to the ground.

Havoc held out his hand and helped Ed up. "Whoa, there, Chief. Don't you think that you're taking this whole getting at the Colonel thing a little too seriously?"

"I'm not going to let him win," Ed grumbled, once again straightening out the miniskirt.

"Win? Win what?"

Ed explained the deal.

"I see," Havoc said, shifting his unlit cigarette. "I didn't realize that you felt so strongly about the Colonel. I'll help you because for one I like you and for another thing the Colonel won't steal my dates if he has someone to occupy his time. Now, listen closely, this is what we're going to do." He leaned down and began whispering in Ed's ear.

They waited outside Roy's office until they heard him moving close to the door.

"Ed, I really have to tell you something," Havoc said loudly.

"What could that be, Lieutenant?" Ed played along.

"I really like you, Ed. Could I…"

"Could you what?"

"Could I kiss you?"

On the other side of the door, Roy's hand twitched.

"Well, I don't know, Lieutenant."

"Please, Ed."

"Oh, ok, I don't see the harm in one kiss."

Roy flung open the door and both Ed and Havoc cowered a bit. He grabbed Ed by the hand and growled, "Mine," before dragging Ed into his office.

"Good luck, Chief," Havoc said before walking off, thinking about his date that night that, for once, wouldn't be stolen by the Colonel.

Roy locked the door behind him and pressed Ed against the wall. He fiercely attacked the smaller man's lips and ran an ungloved hand up Ed's bare thigh to the hem of the miniskirt.

Ed gasped and moaned into the kiss. He pulled away and breathlessly said, "You're breaking the rules, bastard."

"Screw the rules," Roy purred into Ed's ear. "You're mine and I'm going to make certain you know that." He resumed his ministrations, reaching the hem of Ed's underwear. He plied the material away from Ed's skin and ran his hand under the piece of clothing to knead Ed's buttocks.

Ed moaned and ground his awakening erection into Roy. "Roy."

"Please, Edward, beg for me." He whispered against Ed's neck.

"Roy, please, I need you."

"Where do you need me, Ed?" Roy asked as he began unfastening the military jacket that Ed was wearing.

"I need you in me, Roy."

"As you wish, Fullmetal." Roy threw open the jacket and hastily divested Ed of his remaining clothes. Then he led Ed to the couch and laid him down.

Ed's moans of pleasure as Roy took him for the first time were heard throughout headquarters, but all talks were strangely kept hush-hush as most feared a bullet from Hawkeye's deadly accurate gun.

A few hours later, Havoc grinned as Ed sat down cautiously in the mess hall.

"Well, Chief," Havoc said. "I'm guessing that Operation: Tame the Mustang was a success?"

"Yeah," Ed said through gritted teeth as his behind touched the seat. "By the way, Havoc, Roy says you're on guard duty tonight."

"Damn it," Havoc cried and slumped against the table. "And I had a date tonight."