Title: Chaperone (1/1)

Author: Tali

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate, Atlantis, anything or anyone you may recognize.

Rating: PG

Warning: SLASH McShep – FLUFF alert

Summery: How did the Atlantian's chaperone their teenagers?

Notes: This is for Emma because she wanted a happy ending for her birthday and instead I wrote that other piece of angst. ;)


"You are a COMPLETE bumbling moron!" Rodney growled as his fingers flew over the keys stroking his laptop in that frantic way he had that always seemed to have a huge pay off in the end.

John's eyes focused on the way the callused pads of those thick fingers rapped desperately trying to convince this latest piece of glorious ancient technology that was about to kill them to do his bidding. Shaking his head John tried to think of anything but the various way Rodney McKay might use his hands to get one to do his bidding.

"Hey, McKay! I didn't mean to do it. How was I supposed to know it would respond to THAT?" John smirked at Rodney, crossed his arms and leaned himself in Rodney's way. Sure it was not a good idea, I mean they could die soon if he distracted Rodney again but those damn hands.

"Well it obviously responds to you. Why do you think I brought you in here in the first place. You're the only one it would respond for." Rodney started in.

"No, it only responds when I'm in here with it and you." John corrected wagging a finger at Rodney and grinning when those beautiful expressive blue eyes narrowed at him dangerously.

"You are NOT blaming this on me Shepard! You Colonel mauled me and bumped this... this death ray and now its going to… to.." Rodney was turning Red and John just raised a brow.

"To what, McKay, you don't even know what it does!" Rolling his eyes John kicked off the table.

"Why don't you work on getting us out of here? And I wouldn't call that mauling either. It was a very little very gentle kiss."

Rodney snorted hands back to tapping at the keys. "You attacked me… and gave me whisker burn."

John stopped and gaped at Rodney. "I did not give you whisker burn! I just shaved!"

"Well don't look now Colonel but some one stole the razor from you're bic and left you with a plastic shell." McKay smirked to himself as he continued to Manipulate the now red glowing ball. "Oh oh!" His fingers began to snap and seconds later Rodney grabbed John and kissed him, reaching out and touching the orb with one hand. "Touch it and kiss me stupid!"

John did as ordered and nothing happened. The doors suddenly unsealed and opened allowing Elizabeth, Carson, Radek and Lorne to walk through them. The faint hum stopped, the red slowly turned blue before the little time bomb went dormant. John and Rodney jumped apart as if burnt.

Rodney blushed and swallowed with big eyes proclaiming his innocence. John leaned against the table with his hip and gave his most charming smile and tossed in a raised brow for good measure.

"Told you they would rescue us Rodney." John drawled the other man's name out in a way that usual made him give a nasty look.

This time his chin when up and he puffed a little. "Radek take this thing and trash it. I have a feeling its just another children's toy that glow stupid colors."

When Radek and Lorne had taken the object away and Beckett and seen to it that they had come to no harm Elizabeth stayed behind and turned to look at her two Chiefs. Hands clasped behind her back Elizabeth put on her best questioning expression. "I looked over that information found with the object Rodney, it was actually a tool used by parents, to chaperone adolescent children who were considering one another for spouses. It works like a chaperone. Locking the two children in a room until their parents arrived, the color it glowed told the parents exactly what had been done. Supposedly the parents had a communicator that told them the machine was in alarm." She tried to hide her smile.

"Did it?" John was trying to be smooth, trying to act like they weren't totally busted.

"Of course it didn't. She's messing with us." Rodney turned fingers once more flying over the key pad stilling as Elizabeth walked out saying over her shoulder. "No more making out boys."