Burying your best friend is hard.
Burying your lover is even harder.
When you have to bury them both, it's the hardest thing to do.
Okay, so I admit that probably wasn't the best opening to what I'm about to say, but there's no other way around it. And I've always been known for being blunt and tactless. Besides, you would think after all this time; I would be over it that her death would be a thing of the past that I would have been able to move on with my life by now.
That's about as far from the truth as one can get and still be telling the truth. I'm not over her death, nor will I ever be. We started out as friends, then best friends, and our friendship turned into something that we both never thought possible. A love that shielded us from everything that stood in our way. A love that was so pure, so innocent, and so complete that I was lucky to find it in this lifetime.
Now, it's been three years since she left and I'm still alone. Some days, I'm okay, other days the pain comes out of nowhere and hits me like a load of bricks and I'm unable to move, unable to breathe, unable to do anything but lie in my bed all day and cry for what we had and what we lost and what can never be.
Now, I'm not going to say that this is the story of the ages, because I might be conceited, but I'm not that conceited, and we're no storybook lovers. We were just two average women who happened to stumble on by chance to something that was bigger than the both of us.
Destiny. Fate. Kismet. Call it what you will, I call it that I happened to fall in love with my life long best friend and she was taken from me before we had a chance to ever see where the road would have left. We fell in love when we were 15 and everything was over by the time we were 21. Six years. That's it. But we shared more love in six years than most people do in a lifetime. And now my time is almost over on earth, and I know soon that we will be together again.
My hand grows heavy and my heart grows weary as I set my pen down and stare up at the stars, seeing her face in each and everyone. I tried to fight this, the pain, the suffering that I have felt each day since Dawn left, but I just don't want to face life anymore without her. I want to see the pale blonde hair, to touch her perfect skin again, to feel complete again. I want to be able to feel something other than pain and my heart breaking each and every day.
I've left notes for everyone. I know not everyone will agree with my decision. Hell, some may be angry with me, but I don't care, I want to be with the love of my life again, for I know that my life is not worth living without her here with me. My parents, my brothers and sisters, everyone has told me that it takes time, and all the other mumbo jumbo bullshit that people spout when someone dies, but they do not see inside my heart, they do not think my thoughts.
They do not hear her voice in the middle of the night, calling out for me to come to her.
I do. I hear all these things and feel these things. Sighing, I feel the pills begin to take effect and I close my eyes, feeling my breath grow more and more shallow. I see her standing there, waiting for me, her arms open, a smile lighting up her face as I walk towards her.
"Welcome Home, Mallory."