A lavander tale

Summary: What if Mer was Addie's sister? A little MerDer angst. Couldn't resist, had to write it. With minor Maddison, MerMark and Addek. Not funny.

Rating: T, because it's really not funny or nice. I only rated it T, because if I put it in M, less people would read and review. And I need reviews on that one. It's the best thing I ever wrote. I'll tell you if a part is M-rated.

WARNING: Very angsty and way too much sex. Expect pain and broken personalities. Derek and Meredith are not the Derek and Meredith we know. They are not okay. Don't think this will be funny. There might be some slightly non-angsty scenes, but this fanfiction is about people who suffer. Derek is no knight in shining whatever. Meredith doesn't believe in true love. Ellis doesn't have Alzheimers, but she's Ellis and she treats Mer like crap. Mark is still a manwhore, but he's truely in love with Addison and only with Mer, because she knows the pain he's going through. Addison loves Derek, but cheats on him from time to time and doesn't feel more than a little bit guilty about it. Cristina, Izzie, George and Alex are barely mentioned and they are not really friends with Mer. They make things funny, so I can't do them justice. Don't expect funny moments. Don't expect fluff. Don't expect true-love-talks. Expect sex. Expect pain. Expect denial and avoidance. Do not expect anything other than that.

A/N: I got far too many ideas for MerDer stories and I chose to start with this one, because I think it has the most potential and I feel like writing it. I hope you'll enjoy! R&R please!

General stuff: Flashbacks are in italics, the normal parts are, well, normal. I don't do the 'Next:'-thing at the end of a chapter. Spoils the whole fun. You'll have to live without it. And I ramble. I ramble a lot. This is the perfect story to be rambling about. Seriously.

Disclaimer: If I owned Grey's, Mer and Der would have to go through even more painful events than they already do. So, be grateful that I don't own Grey's. Well, they would have more sex, though. Sorry that I don't own Grey's.


PART ONE AVOIDANCE IS GOOD, DENIAL IS BETTER

Chapter One - A conversation between two old friends (Part I)

The party still wasn't winding down. Eleven thirtyfive and the guests were still having one hell of a good time. Drunk people, people that would be seriously hungover tomorrow, were stumbling over their own feet, laughing ridiculously loud at bad jokes. Seven of them were currently playing strip poker and had already lost a lot of their laundry. Two were practically having sex on the couch. None of them looked like they were about to leave any time soon. The loud ... well, you couldn't really call it music ... gave him a slight headache.

Derek sighed. The only positive thing about that was that he fortunately didn't know most of them. If he had, there would have been a lot of people with an invitation and there would have been far too many hungover people at the wedding tomorrow, and the last thing they needed was hungover guests. It was bad enough that he wasn't exactly sober right now, even though he wasn't enjoying himself very much. But all those people... Not very nice to deal with. Addison had invited old friends from college over to her house and they had brought their friends. Actually this was supposed to be a little meet-the-groom-get-together little thingy, now it was nothing but chaos and distruction. He missed Mark. His best friend had left two hours ago. His almost-wife wasn't there either, she spent the night in a hotel room, because bride and groom were not supposed to have sex the day before their wedding. Not that that would have been an issue. They were pretty practiced in controlling their lust by now. But Addison had insisted on staying outside of her own house. Derek only wondered why she had invited all those people, if she wasn't even there to introduce him to them. Well, most of them were way too wasted to recognize another human being anyway.

He slowly headed to the stairs. Even if he might not feel like it right now, he needed a little sleep. It was his wedding day tomorrow, after all. Trying to throw all those drunk people out would be a waste of time, they wouldn't move as it were. But when he walked upstairs, he heard the soft sobs of a broken little girl, like he had a thousand times before. He hadn't known Meredith was in the house, he'd expected her to be with Addison, laughing at and teasing her like a real sister was supposed to. But she wasn't. She was crying again. Some would think it was strange for her to cry, because she was seventeen now, but her age didn't really matter to him. The only thing that did matter was the tears that constantly ran down her cheeks and the sobs she tried to stop from coming when she saw him. There was something very familiar about this situation, actually they had been in it about threethousand times. Okay, maybe only threehundred. Whatever.


Flashback I - Noone can hurt you

"Meredith, it's okay. I'm here. I'm here for you. Tell me what happened and I'll fix it. Everything's alright. You can talk to me, Mer. I'm here."

The little girl on the floor looked up, tears escaping her eyes.

"Mark stole my teddy! I was just playing with him and then Mark came and stole him from me! He yelled at me and took my teddy and left... I don't understand why he's always stealing my teddy! I mean, what is he doing with my teddy? It's a teddy. My teddy. What is Mark supposed to do with it? My point is, Mark stole my teddy..."

Derek smiled. She always tended to ramble when she was freaking out about something or someone. He thought it was awfully cute, but of course he didn't think this whole situation was good. Mark always hurt Meredith when he was not alright and Derek hated the fact that he used Addie's little sister to get over his problems. He had no right to hurt Meredith. She was too little to be able to protect herself. And she was too little to understand why he was acting this way. Even Derek had a hard time figuring out what was going on inside of his best friend. He only knew that it was incredibly unfair to take all his anger out on a seven-year-old.

He sat down next to her on the floor and wrapped an arm around her till she stopped crying, whispering sweet little nothings of comfort and compassion. Then she said, not really convincing anyone:

"I'm fine."

"You're fine.", he repeated, softly caressing her cheek with his thumb, while he smiled his special smile. The smile that made everything okay. If he had known that this smile would make her fall for him one day, he might not have used it to fix everything. But he had, silently cursing Mark for making this cute tiny blonde girl cry for no good reason. When she got up, whiping away her tears, he made sure she was alright, before he went off looking for the heartless guy who had stolen Meredith's teddy.


Chapter One - A conversation between two old friends (Part II)

Meredith was sitting on the floor again, leaning against the door of her room, just like she always was when she cried, her head resting in her hands, her knees pulled tightly to her tiny body, the cute blonde waves of hair cascading over her shoulders, uncontrolled sobs escaping from her mouth. He could see a half empty bottle of tequila next to her. Sometimes he hated the fact that she was a grown-up now. If she was younger, she wouldn't be drowning her sorrow in tequila. But the whole rest of the situation was too familiar. He sat down next to her and she looked up into his eyes, hers filled with tears and pain.

"I'm here, Mer.", he simply said, knowing he wouldn't have to say more. Nothing mattered but him being here for her. It had always been like that.

"Mark... He broke up with me... He just left me, telling me he didn't love me, he had never loved me and that I'd deserve better than that... and he left, Derek, he just left. Without an explanation. He just left, leaving me all alone. I don't... I can't... I don't want to be alone..." Her tears almost broke him. She didn't deserve that kind of treatment. Once again, Mark had messed her up really badly. He wrapped his arms around her and she leaned her head to his chest till her sobs were replaced by silent tears, her breathing calming down. She smelled like that mysterious flower he always sensed when he was around her. Unfortunately he still didn't know what it was. There had never been a good time to ask. Most of the time when they were this close she was crying, like she was now. God, he didn't want her to cry... He whispered softly:

"You're not alone, Mer. I'm here. I will always be here."

The noice from the party downstairs almost didn't reach them. They were just sitting here, forgetting about the rest of the world. It didn't matter to them. She had her face burried in his strong chest, his arms softly around her small frame, while he looked down at the beautiful tiny blonde that cried in his arms. It was almost unbelievable that she was Addison's sister, well, stepsister really. They were so different, not only from the way they looked. Addie liked to 'dress to impress', her red hair and her perfect body turning every man on. She liked the influence she had on male acquaintances or even on guys she didn't know at all. Meredith was more natural, wearing ordinary and comfortable clothes and almost no make-up and most of the guys she dealt with in her everyday life thought of her as a good buddy or had a hidden crush on her. Nobody was surprised if some guy had a crush on Addison. She knew how men responded to her. Everybody desired her. And everybody loved Meredith. Meredith didn't try to make guys want her and had no idea how many of her male friends had a secret crush on her. They fell for her, because she was natural and real. Beautiful, just like her sister, but still so different. Derek wondered for a moment if she knew how many people would prefer her to Addison, then he interrupted himself. He was getting married tomorrow, how could he even think about men preferring Meredith? But on the other hand... It was not like he was referring to himself, was it?

Suddenly Meredith's voice interrupted his train of thoughts.

"I never loved him."

Her head was still leaning on his chest, her beautiful eyes open now, but avoiding his gaze.

"Why were you with him?", Derek asked, surprisingly relieved by the simple statement she had made. He didn't even know why he was relieved about that.

"I didn't want to be alone. You and Addie were always busy and my other friends live in Seattle. Mark was the only one who was available. And then he asked me out, so I went out with him. It hadn't exactly been a bad thing, having a boyfriend, I mean."

Somehow he knew she was covering the truth. He didn't assume she was lying, she just didn't tell everything.

"Especially because Addie was jealous.", she laughed a little and Derek knew she wouldn't have said that if she hadn't had this much tequila.

"You should stop getting drunk every time you have a problem. Tequila isn't good for you. Doesn't call, doesn't write, certainly not a very pleasant thing to wake up to." He smiled again, still unaware of the fact that this was his McDreamy smile and that Mer was so falling for it every time he gave her that look.

"So", he went on, now looking directly into her eyes, "my almost wife was jealous because you were dating Mark?" He tried to sound funny, but really he was disappointed. He didn't want to talk about Addison and Mark. He wasn't blind, there had been a lot of sexual tension going on between them. Not that he thought she was cheating on him. Addison would never cheat on him. Again, Meredith's voice brought him back to reality.

"He loves her.", she said, her eyes filling with tears. Somehow Derek knew those tears were not only caused by the fact that Mark had dumped her, but also by the fact that she was in love with someone she knew she couldn't have. Mark had make some remarks about that, laughing at her, like he always was. He had been good for her, in his very Mark kind of way. He had made her happy, but now she needed to move on. Maybe with this mysterious guy she was pining for. He was just wondering who he was and if he deserved her. After all, she was Meredith, and he didn't like seeing her drunk and broken. What really surprised him was that he cared more about her than about Mark and Addison, the woman he was going to get married to the next day. It didn't seem quite as important as the fact that Mer deserved someone who could really make her happy.

"Why were you with him?", he repeated, holding her even closer, his face half-burried in her beautiful hair, breathing in her scent that always made him feel like he was safe.

"Because it hurt you."


So, Mark just dumped Mer. Why? We'll hear about that later. And Derek is here, all sweet and nice, like he's always been, and well, Mer's pretty desperate and they're both pretty damn drunk. And then she says something like 'Because it hurt you'. Hell, that's a freaking huge statement. And we'll see how Derek deals with it, if he even gets what she's saying. After all, he is supposed to get married to her sister – well, actually stepsister, since Ellis Grey, who had a daughter, got married to John Charles Montgomery II, who had a daughter as well - Addison the next day. Don't ask why he got drunk, I just needed him to get drunk to make the storyline, plot, whatever work. Sorry about that. And Mer's only seventeen which makes it kind of strange that she's drunk since she legally shouldn't be, but hey, who keeps to the rules? And her boyfriend just ditched her. Plus, it's Derek's wedding day tomorrow. So, yeah. She has a reason to be drunk. Don't blame her.

Reviews are seriously appreciated. Seriously, seriously appreciated. I love reviews. And this is the best story I ever wrote. And I already know about really hot MerDer sex in the future. My point is: You want me to continue, right?