This KakaSasu was posted for DancingDragonBlaze (I really do hope that you'll like this DDB). It was lying around the computer for some time now. I wouldn't have posted it if she hadn't requested a KakaSasu after reading the... er... JiraSasu that I made.
A lot of OOCness (at least that's what I think).
Pairings that will be involved in here are KakaSasu, perhaps hints of NejiSasu (but that can easily be said as just plain friendship and all), hints of Neji/a-lot-of-people, and one-sided(?) NaruSaku. I suppose that I might've missed a few.
Kakashi was normally a patient man. This was shown by his ability to wait for the release of a new book in the Icha Icha series which was still as popular as ever. Naruto was co-writing it now. He and Jiraiya made quite the team.
But right now, he was just itching to punch the living daylights, quite literally too, out of Naruto and Jiraiya. Damn those two! The implications were everywhere. Even an idiot would notice. The Icha Icha book that had just been released were focused on two people. Real people. In fact, they lived in Konoha. Their names were Utake Sakashi and one temperamental, although mostly brooding, raven-haired jounin that went by the name Hataha Kasuke.
When Kakashi finally managed to meet the two authors of the Icha Icha series again – he had hunted them down since they seemed to have foreseen his initial reaction on the book and had decided to hide... even a sannin and a jinchuuriki was powerless against some things – they were standing on top of Hokage Mountain. They looked quite dramatic up there.
"What's up Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto said a bit nervously.
A blazing Mangekyou Sharingan (Kakashi-style, of course) stared back at them. It was furiously swirling. Jiraiya and Naruto gulped. Kakashi had to have been the scariest person in the world right now, even more so than megalomaniac Orochimaru, homicidal Itachi, PMSing women (especially the pregnant ones), and used-to-be-menopausal Tsunade.
"What do you mean what's up?! What's going down is my frickin' reputation!" Kakashi exclaimed. "Just what the hell were you two thinking?!"
"Well... it is true, isn't it?" Jiraiya said.
"Fine, it's fucking true, but couldn't you two have toned it down?!"
"Etto... Kakashi-sensei, we decided to tell to the teme about your feelings since you looked like you were going to settle for a picture of him and fondling yourself. It would be just much better to get the real thing, wouldn't it?" Naruto asked.
Kakashi furiously blushed. The two biggest perverts of Konoha weren't sure if it was because of anger or embarrassment.
The aforementioned picture was obviously one of Sasuke. Kakashi had seven pictures that had only Sasuke in them. Jiraiya and Naruto gave them to Kakashi as a present when they, or rather Naruto, found out that he liked Sasuke more than a teacher should like his student. Liked was a rather big understatement. No, it was more like Kakashi was obsessed with the moody Uchiha. These pictures were... ones that shouldn't be shown to children. Needless to say, Kakashi was impressed with Jiraiya and Naruto's stealth skills.
"Does he even read Icha Icha books?! He doesn't!" Kakashi exclaimed.
"He might be a closet pervert like Ebisu." Jiraiya said.
Naruto and Kakashi then began thinking about Sasuke. Soon, their heads were wildly shaking. Sasuke, a closet pervert? Never. No, Sasuke was the one who was usually being thought perverted thoughts about, secretly or openly.
"Not that we can do much about it now that it's out." Jiraiya said.
"Of course you can! You have copyrights to the frickin' book!" Kakashi said.
"But don't you know? This book has received the most praises. Nearly every adult, young and old, alive is buying that book."
Then Naruto grinned.
"Think about it, Kakashi-sensei, when you've finally hooked up with the teme, you could use some of the things we used on the book." he said.
Kakashi, thinking that arguing with those two were simply impossible, merely turned his back on them and walked away. Sasuke would be his only in his dreams. And perhaps in those times he went inside the bathroom and daydreamed.
Neji and Sasuke met every Saturday night in the house where Sasuke lived in the Uchiha Compound. They made the oddest pair of drinking buddies. That and Sasuke had the best liquor around. The Uchiha had always been known for their fine tastes, especially in alcohol and other drinks.
It wasn't that they were a couple or anything. They just found comfort in each other that no one else could give. They understood each other more than anyone else could. They were just... so alike in the way people would've never thought.
It just so happened that it was Saturday and it was nighttime. Right now, Neji and Sasuke were in the living room, sitting beside each other on the sofa with dozens of bottles of sake and other stuff. They were both holding a cup that was filled with sake as of now. As the night progressed, their drink would change.
"I hate Sai, that dickhead." Sasuke muttered.
"Hn." Neji said.
Sasuke was usually the more expressive one in these drinking nights of theirs. Neji was the one who listened most of the time. Not that he was complaining or anything. It felt nice that someone wanted him to hear their problems and to lose himself in someone.
"He thinks he knows every damn thing about the whole fucking world, you know?" Sasuke said.
"You sure are one to talk." Neji said.
Sasuke liked it more when people were honest with him. Neji knew the horrible feeling of being lied to. Sasuke was his friend and he was dead sure that Sasuke treated him as a friend too, almost like Naruto.
"Yeah, I know. I never said that I wasn't a hypocrite." Sasuke said.
Then he drank his cup empty and refilled it.
"Touché." Neji said.
He too, finished his cup and refilled it with something else. Everything was quiet until someone that went by the name Jiraiya appeared in front of them with a pop and a puff of smoke. It didn't surprise them. Hardly anything surprised them anymore. Having teammates like Naruto and Rock Lee ensured that. Not to mention they also had female teammates that underwent rapid mood changes every month.
"Hey there!" Jiraiya said.
"Hn." Sasuke and Neji greeted.
Jiraiya took one bottle and took a swig. Then he proceeded to grin at the two sitting on the sofa.
"Have any of you two read the new Icha Icha book?" he asked.
"I don't read dirty literature." Sasuke said.
Jiraiya looked at Neji.
"Hyuuga don't read erotica." Neji said.
Jiraiya immediately shook his head.
"My books aren't just erotica! They have some sort of artistic value to it. It's not all about stimulating its readers' sexual desire." he said.
Neji shrugged. It still contained porn and that was what mattered. Jiraiya sighed. These two were hopeless. They'd never become real adults at that rate. Anyway, back to business. He wasn't here to advertise his outstanding book. He was here to salvage Kakashi's pride lest he and Naruto wanted to die in a brutal way. Which they, of course, didn't want to. They valued life far too much for that.
"I'm actually here to ask you a favor Sasuke..." Jiraiya started.
He knew that this wasn't going to be pretty, but the plans, as shinobi they were ready for everything, he and Naruto made were foolproof. There was no way Sasuke could escape from doing that or he wasn't the biggest pervert in Konoha! Besides... Neji, being a Hyuuga and all, wouldn't allow him to die in Sasuke's hands, right? Confident that he wouldn't be killed any time soon by either Hatake Kakashi or Uchiha Sasuke, he continued his sentence.
Sasuke acted in the way they had suspected. Violently. It was then that Jiraiya thought that perhaps all of their plans wouldn't work, that Neji wouldn't help him, and that Orochimaru had affected the Uchiha more than expected. Seriously, where else would he know a lot of pain-inflicting jutsus? Not even Sarutobi knew this much!, Jiraiya thought.
"NARUTO!" he yelled as soon as Sasuke began to form the fifth hand seals that night.
Running would certainly do nothing, although not that he had any other option. Summoning Gamabunta would get too much attention and give the Uchiha more reason to hate him since he had just destroyed his house. As he ran for his life, literally too, Jiraiya thought that even dealing with women that caught him peeking on them was easier than this. At least they didn't know as many jutsus that promised a lot of injuries, mental and physical, like Sasuke. Kakashi owes me a lot, Jiraiya thought, like my hospital bill... or my burial service. It was certainly very smart of him to write his will before going here. Expect the unexpected as they say.
"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU NARUTO?!" he screamed when he felt the killing intent from Sasuke raise up a notch.
Neji took a sip of his sake. Tonight was going to be very entertaining indeed. This would make up for the enormous hangover he'd be getting tomorrow morning. Damn, he should've brought someone along with him. Now he had no one to bet with on what would happen.
Naruto who was cheerfully eating his fourth bowl of ramen at Ichiraku sneezed.
"Someone must be talking about you." Ayame remarked.
Naruto grinned, thinking that the someone who was talking about him was his dearest Sakura whom he had found interesting once again.
Kakashi who was eating his dinner in his apartment felt as if something horribly wrong was happening or about to happen. It had been such a long time since he felt anxiety. He simply shrugged it off. Oh well, being a shinobi sometimes did that.
The next morning, when Kakashi got the newspaper from outside the doorstop and read the headline, he passed out. But before that, he wondered if that was truly worthy of being put in the headlines or did that particular newspaper just had nothing else to write. The paper was now innocently lying on his chest.
COPY NINJA KAKASHI, IN LOVE?
Little did he know that that was the headline of every other notable newspaper brand in all of the ninja villages. And that if he'd only stuck around a bit longer, he would've seen that the author of the article was Jiraiya. The old man was adamant that Kakashi and Sasuke got together. It was Kakashi's payment for being... an inspiration for the book.
When he came about again, he wondered if him fancying someone was really that big of an issue. He almost hit himself. Duh! The one he fancied was UCHIHA SASUKE. He then read the next of the article, congratulating himself on not passing out again. After finishing reading, he felt the urge to bang his head on his kitchen sink. The good news was that they didn't link him to his former student. The bad news was that they managed to connect him to one academy teacher whose name just happened to be Umino Iruka.
It was then that he made an important decision. He'd fix everything, make it right. It was time to take things in his own hands. Right. First he'd have to go visit Iruka and tell him that whatever he read wasn't true. Then they, yes, they since he knew that those media people wouldn't believe things that only he would say, march right inside this newspaper company and demand them to take back what they said. Then he'd go straight to Sasuke's house and tell him everything. Everything. It was high time that the Uchiha found out. For a ninja, I've already kept far too many secrets to myself, Kakashi thought.
Tonight. He'd know tonight.
Sasuke sipped his cup of tea. Sitting across him was Neji who was also drinking some tea and was reading the newspaper. This was their usual routine after their long night of drinking.
"Guess what, Sasuke, it seems as if your teacher has a thing for Iruka." Neji said as if it was the most normal thing in the world.
Well, as shinobi, hardly anything surprised them anymore. But that was worth even the least bit reaction. Although Sasuke wouldn't blame Neji. The mostly silent Hyuuga did become the student of Konoha's Blue Beast, the one and only Maito Gai and used to be the teammate of the equally youthful Konoha's Green Beast, Rock Lee.
Sasuke knows that he really shouldn't have been surprised. After all, he was the rival, not to mention best friend, of Uzumaki Naruto, the number one ninja in surprising people. Besides, he should've also seen that coming. Kakashi did seem the type to play for the other field on closer inspection. But he couldn't help but be startled by that piece of news.
Something inside of him was hurting again. It was something like when he saw his family's dead bodies and when he saw and suffered because of his bro – no, it was Itachi – Itachi's betrayal.
Unknown to Sasuke, Neji was looking at his face, looking at the series of emotions that went across that pale, pretty face. It was at that instant that he knew that, even for a teeny bit, Sasuke felt something toward his teacher.
"We should go to him then. For moral support." Neji said.
That shook Sasuke out of his grim thoughts. He then proceeded to give Neji a look that screamed 'The hell?! Are you on drugs?!' Neji simply shrugged. Sasuke decided that his drinking pal was on something strong. Moral support?! That wasn't Neji. Maybe one of the Yamanakas had decided to possess Neji or something.
"Have you been sleeping lately?" Sasuke asked.
Neji-who-hasn't-slept-for-days always acted out of character. So much so that Sasuke sometimes thought that he wasn't Neji whenever he was like that. But, well, there was always something about Neji that no one could capture, not even a Yamanaka inside his mind.
"Oh, yes. Haven't got a lot of missions." he said.
Sasuke could only hope that this I'm-so-pleasant-Neji was temporary. It was seriously creeping him out.
"So shall we go?" Neji asked.
"No, let's stay. I'm sure Kakashi already knows how to woo Iruka." Sasuke said.
How could his Icha Icha-loving teacher not? Besides, he could actually be truly romantic, without any of the Icha Icha material at all, when he wanted to. Sasuke should know. He's seen Kakashi try to coax some relatively pretty lady in Iwagakure when they went there for a mission three months ago to be with him.
Unfortunately, that little love affair in Kakashi's life ended when an angry Sakura dragged him away while admonishing him about playing with women's hearts. Sasuke had never seen him as a playboy and so, secretly wondered why his pink-haired teammate was giving that speech to Kakashi. The woman Kakashi had been courting merely sighed and walked away. Needless to say, that man had been the most attractive he had ever seen in her life. Naruto only snickered while Sai made some lewd comment as usual, earning him a punch from Sakura which would've sent him flying if he hadn't done something to lessen its impact on him.
"Whatever you say. He is your teacher, not mine." Neji said.
Sasuke rolled his eyes. As if Gai was romantically interested in anyone. Not once had Sasuke seen him look at anyone that way. At least Neji was normal. He loved Tenten. He used to be Tenten's boyfriend until Tenten broke up with him and found someone else. Someone with big, black eyebrows named Rock Lee. Sasuke thought that she was out of her mind, exchanging the genius of the Hyuuga Clan whom other women wished to have the attention of for Lee.
Of course, it wasn't as if Sasuke was saying that Lee was a bad fighter... it was just... odd, that was all. What with those humongous eyebrows...
"If Gai ever gets married, you can say that the apocalypse is about to happen." Sasuke said.
"Will do." Neji said with a curt nod. "So for all of our sakes, let's hope he doesn't get married."
Sasuke nodded to show his agreement. The Sharingan was his clan's kekkei genkai. It was strong, perhaps it was even more powerful than the Byakugan of the Hyuuga Clan, but not even it could stand against the mental, or even real, images of Gai, or Lee, being with someone.
"You should stop thinking so much about that matter, Sasuke. It's not worth it." Neji said.
Sasuke took a sip of his tea again. He knew that Neji was still heartbroken. That was why Neji never took missions with Tenten, Lee, and Gai anymore and how he stumbled upon Sasuke. After a month of being mission partners and four weeks of relying on each other the way friends should, they became drinking buddies.
Nowadays, Sasuke was trying to hook up Neji with someone. Shino (he said that he'd steal all of Shino's bugs and kill them, not to mention his Mangekyou Sharingan was on when he was talking to him), Gaara (he said that he'd tell everyone about Tanuki-kun), Sakura (he told her that Neji needed someone and when Sakura had refused, he told her how heartless she was and some other stuff, he also acted... in the end, she agreed, not wanting to look bad for her dearest Sasuke-kun), Kankurou (he said that he'd burn all of his puppets and all of his kabuki-like makeup), Ino (he did the same thing with Sakura), Kiba (he told Kiba that Akamaru would soon be joining the stomachs of some people that went to barbecue restaurants), and many more. Unfortunately, they all didn't work.
Actually, it turned out to be rather traumatizing or embarrassing or ridiculous for all of the parties involved. Needless to say, Sasuke wouldn't be hooking up with anyone soon. At least anyone who loved something in particular. Like sand, dogs, puppets, bugs. His nonexistent interest in girls also plummeted yet again.
Dinnertime at Sasuke's place was when and where Kakashi popped up in front of Sasuke who was eating his dinner quietly. Neji had left after breakfast for some mission that would span for two weeks. That meant that Sasuke would be without his drinking pal when he went drinking. No one to talk to and listen to you.
Sasuke and Kakashi stared at each other, obviously waiting for the other one to make a move or say something. Well, it was Sasuke who did something. He gestured Kakashi to sit in front of him and eat. Of course, Kakashi sat on the aforementioned chair and politely refused the food his ex-student offered.
"Suit yourself. Why are you here anyway?" Sasuke asked.
"To talk to you about something." Kakashi said.
Sasuke rose an eyebrow. It must have something to do with winning Iruka's affections. Well, he was no genius in that department.
"I don't know the first thing about love. You should've asked Sakura." he said.
Kakashi then began to look uncomfortable.
"Er... well... the thing is, the thing that I'm going to talk about with you has something to do with you." he said.
"With me? What does Iruka have to do with me?" Sasuke asked.
"Iruka?" he asked.
"Aa. Don't you have a thing for him or something...? Or will I have to not trust the newspaper anymore?" Sasuke asked.
"Oh... that's only a rumor. Iruka and I have managed to clear that one up."
What happened between Iruka, him, and the heads of the newspaper companies that had released that article that morning really had been something. Especially since Iruka had practically screamed out loud that he and one Shiranui Genma were in a relationship. Well, Kakashi had said that he already had his eyes on someone that wasn't Iruka or Genma and that he wasn't going to be joining them to form a threesome.
Ah, well, at least the newspapers would be filled with Genma and Iruka tomorrow, not him and Sasuke. But Kakashi was dead sure that they'd be in the headlines the day after tomorrow.
"Hn. So what do you want to talk about?" Sasuke asked.
"Well... you see... there's something..." Kakashi said.
"Don't waste my time, hakutouou."
Kakashi pouted at that.
"I'm not that old. It's just the hair." he said.
"Just keep on saying that. So what do you want to say?" Sasuke asked.
It's now or never, Kakashi thought. He took a deep breath, as if he was going to take a plunge. In a way, maybe he was.
"IlikeyouverymuchthatIthinkit'salreadyloveandIwannamakeyoumine." he said in one breath.
Sasuke blinked, not understanding a single thing that he said.
"Rephrase that in a way I'll be able to understand." Sasuke said.
"I... etto... like you... very much... that I... that I... that I think that.. it's already... love... and, you know, I wanna... anou... make you... mine..." Kakashi nervously said.
It was quite uncharacteristic of him to act like that. Very uncool. But, hey, this was Uchiha Sasuke that he was proclaiming love to. Hell, he was insinuating that he should make love to his student. His student that was fourteen years younger than him!
He closed his eyes, waiting for the harsh rejection that wasn't foreign on Sasuke's tongue. But when three minutes, he should know – he was counting, had passed and there was not a single word coming from the Uchiha, he opened his eyes only to see that Sasuke was eating. Not a single reaction. Kakashi felt his world crumble. Maybe he had said something else... Or was this Sasuke's gentler way of saying that he didn't like him in the way he did. Was this what it felt like to be rejected? Was this what Rin felt whenever he refused her offers on going with her to Ichiraku or some other restaurant?
"Sasuke..." Kakashi started.
"Un. I heard you the first time. No need to confess again. Just don't say anything and eat." Sasuke said.
Was this how rejections were supposed to go nowadays? Kakashi would've preferred the harsh and straight to the point ones. At least he still didn't have to think whether Sasuke liked him in the same way or not. Or were Uchihas just confusing when it came to love?
Obito sure wasn't confusing. He proclaimed his love to Rin every single time they met. Then again, Obito wasn't like any other Uchiha. Most Uchihas were quiet and mysterious, like Sasuke. One just had to guess what they were really feeling. That was an advantage while on a mission, but in normal life, at least what shinobi deemed normal, it was a disadvantage for people who wooed Uchihas.
Soon enough, Kakashi had a bowl of rice with a pair of chopsticks beside it in front of him. Deciding that it would be much more better for his sanity, he began to eat. That was when he discovered that Sasuke was a great cook.
"You don't need to worry about anything anymore. By the way... you look better without the mask." Sasuke said.
Kakashi didn't know whether that was a comment or not seeing as Sasuke knew why he covered his face. His father. He smiled though. He was dead sure that that was a positive reply.
The next morning, perhaps it was last night to be more exact, was when Kakashi made another discovery. Not only was Sasuke a great cook, he was also great in bed despite last night being his first and definitely not the last. Well, I guess I gotta stock up on the lube, Kakashi thought.
Sasuke also had the best ass and the greatest legs in the whole wide world. His moans and groans and all those other sounds he made were also the sweetest thing Kakashi, or perhaps even anyone else in the whole world, could hope to hear.
"Fucking morning." Sasuke muttered as he shielded his eyes from the relentless sunlight.
Kakashi grinned. Sasuke was so suggestive and all! Was it time for round four already? Well, not that he was complaining or anything...
Neji came back from his mission earlier. A week earlier in fact. Now he was on his way to Sasuke's. He had a strong feeling that he should do that. And his instincts had never ever been wrong before.
"Welcome back, Neji!" Naruto and Kiba chirped.
"Nice seeing you again." Jiraiya said.
The three of them just came out of a bookstore. Neji greeted them back with his trademark monosyllabic 'hn'. Naruto and Kiba's grins turned up a notch while Jiraiya's smirk seemed to turn sinister.
"Have you heard?" Kiba asked.
"About what?" Neji asked.
"The teme... and Kakashi-sensei. They're together. The issue of their relationship hasn't died and it's been a week or something since it first started." Naruto said.
No wonder I felt as if I had to go to his place, Neji thought.
When Neji went inside the living room, he saw Kakashi reading an Icha Icha book on the sofa. Sasuke was on the sofa too, sleeping and using Kakashi's laps as a pillow for his head. Neji thought that it looked cute.
Kakashi then looked up at him, his only visible eye in a cheerful arc.
"Welcome back, Hyuuga." he said.
Neji nodded and made a move to leave, but Kakashi's next words stopped him.
"You know, Sasuke was worried about you. So I've set up a couple of people for you to meet!"
Kakashi didn't understand why the Hyuuga genius fainted on the spot after he said that. Had he said something wrong? Maybe he could ask Sasuke later...
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I do hope that you'll comment. If you find any mistakes (any at all), don't hesitate to point them out.