Author's Note: Yay! Another fic after a long while. I noticed nobody ever created a fic on Nomiya's point of view so this is a pioneer! Well, tried to keep in character as much as possible, but well, this is how I knew him.
When She Cries
"Please stop. It has nothing to do with you, Nomiya-san."
That's right. It had nothing to do with me. She was just girl with a pretty face. A challenge especially when Mayama was guarding her protectively.
A woman stuck in a child's mindset that would be easily charmed with sympathetic smiles and kind words. A girl heartbroken that would easily crumble if given enough attention.
And yet when she broke down to tears that night, being torn with wanting to wish for Mayama's happiness and wanting for Rika-san and Mayama to fall apart finally taking its toll on her, to me, she had never looked so beautiful.
She was vulnerable.
Someone out of my league. Completely.
I was not an evil person to start with to completely take advantage of the situation she was in. Nor was I so sex-deprived I would trade my conscience for the mere spread of her legs.
Somehow, I realized that going after her would be a complication I wouldn't want to find myself in.
I kept my distance. Being assigned to another office made it a valid excuse not to see her. The pile of workload dumped into me with Mayama resigning and going back to Harada Design made it a believable excuse not to call her. Of course, it can also be credited to the fact that she had no mobile phone of her own to start with.
But those reasons hadn't been enough not to think of her. Somehow, my dreams were starting to be filled with her bittersweet smile as tears gather at the corner of her eyes.
Pretending courage when it was so transparent that her heart was broken in two. Her soul crushed into thousand pieces.
She was starting to get to me. And I began hating myself for it. For seriously, who in their right mind would fall in love with someone as emotionally unstable as she was?
The wall I built between the two of us started to get higher, wanting to put as much distance from her as possible, if only to not make her cry anymore. She was already badly broken and bruised.
"Why do you assume that you'll hurt someone if you get involved with them? I've always thought that once I find the right girl, I'd treasure her forever. Isn't that how it's supposed to be?"
Yamazaki, with all the simplicity he possessed, opened my once complicated mind. He was right. I was trying hard to distance myself from those girls, not wanting to get too attached for fear of hurting them. In the end, my distance and aloofness were what hurt them.
I was too afraid to make them cry, when in fact, it was me all along not wanting to get hurt.
Falling in love is like exposing all weaknesses you have inside. That was what attracted me to her. She was someone I can only dream of becoming. Showing all her emotions in the open like that, she was an idiot.
"That's right. She's an idiot. So please give her a call. She's at Harada Design on weekends."
I wasn't able to sleep that night, Miwako-san's voice haunting me over and over again. "It was something she needed to see even if she gets beaten by the waterfall."
Tossing and turning, I made up my mind.
"Yamada-san, are you alright?"
"Yeah. Things are going rather well. Miwako-san and Rika-san have been taking good care of me…blah…blah…blah…"
It had taken nine hours to get to Tokyo. And another nine hours to get back to Tottori. All of it just to see her. Seriously, pretending to be happy like that, when I can hear her silent screams underneath the façade. Who in their right mind wouldn't rush to her side?
And when had I started to be this sensitive?
"Did something happen? You were sobbing when I called you."
"Really? Then it must be after I got off the phone with you."
A gasp. "Nomiya-san, how did you –"
I smiled at her. There was no point saying the words, anyway. Still, I know. I mean, I've been watching you all this time. You just didn't notice because you were always looking at him…Yamada-san, the man you're in love with is leaving with another woman. Even so, I'm not going to say anything. I bet you still have a lot of crying to do. And once you're crushed, I'll be there with arms wide open and listen to what you have to say. But you'll probably choose to cry somewhere far away, where I can't console you.
"When you feel helpless, please call me."
A plea. Begging entrance to her heart.
"Okay. But why are you saying that?"
"Why? It's because I'm in love with you."
I voiced down the thought running in my mind and when she looked at me, with those big startled eyes, I knew it was too late to get it back. Nowhere to go but move forward.
It echoed in my mind. Strange, because I can still hear it even when weeks passed by. As if asking me if it was really true. Screaming inside and getting more annoying with each passing day. Did something happen? Was she crying again?
"A little. But she's alright now. She's sleeping."
Miyako-san got off the phone but I continued to stare at it, feeling the blood rushing to my head.
"Damn! Why didn't that adolescent give me a call? She didn't call so I thought everything was okay and now, this! Gimme a break!!!" It took all my strength not to throw the phone, send it crashing against the wall.
"Are you going to see her?"
"I'm not. I don't give a damn. She can cry by herself."
In the end, I went out and slammed the door shut. One could not be blamed for an occasional outburst. Even for someone labeled as a 'cool guy'.
I don't give a damn.
And yet, with every puff of cigarette, I see her in that Ferris wheel again, sitting across me, too exposed to look at me in the eye.
She can cry by herself.
But then, why do I see her tearstained face when she managed to cry herself to sleep that night. Vividly.
I'll be back…just a little bit longer…so until then, please don't cry by yourself…
It was then. It was during that time that I vowed.
Don't cry in front of some other guy…
She was beautiful when she cried. Still, I vowed to make her smile.
"Hey, Leader, how've you been? Yeah." A chuckle as the naughty dog covered me with his saliva. "I wanted to see you, too…and Yamada-san. I'm home," I said as I leaned down to kiss her.
Up until today, I didn't know if I was serious about kissing her at that time. Maybe I was. Maybe I wasn't.
All I know is that, when she screamed and pushed me away with all her might, her cheeks coloring with embarrassment and a small smile escaped her, I knew she was pleased to see me.
Someday, she would not only be pleased, but thrilled to be with me. Someday, that refreshing honesty, that transparency of emotions I've come to adore, will tell the world that it was me.
And that beautiful face she has when she cries, it will disappear.
She may love him now for all the romantic angst he brought, for the bittersweet memories. But in the end…
I'll be the one to make her smile.
"She tries to hide all the fear she feels inside…so I pray this time I can be the man she deserves…cause I die a little each time…when she cries…" - Restless Hearts (When She Cries)
Author's Note: I so love this pairing because it was so close to my reality it touched a lot of emotions. Still, this is the first time I did this pairing so, reviews and intelligent criticisms are welcome!